HELP, my son can't regulate food intake

[SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus]

Made the mistake of posting this in aibu and ended up with burnt toes.

Basicy my son can't regulate food, he won't take just one banana, he eats a bunch, ditto with evrything else, loaves of bread, packs of ham, you name it, he'll scoff it.

He'll basicly eat himself sick.

I'm trying to teach him to self regulate, ie I don't want to resort to locks as I don't want him to feel punished or that food must be locked away, i've been encouraging him to make choices, help me prepare food, let him have lots of different food and basicly the only rule is that he has free access to whatever food is in the fruit bowl, ie fruit, peppers, mini crackers etc but anything else he must ask for.

He had been doing so well until yesterday when I was hunting for my glasses, meanwhile ds was busy downstairs chomping his way through 5 large pots of yogurt, he'dnot long had two weetabix, toast and a banana for beakfast and so I didnt give him any lunch at 12 but he did get crackers a cheese at 2.00 and his usual fruit etc this was not a punishment it was simply because he had eaten so much and this was explained to ds, he does have quite good understanding and easily picks things up, tho obviousy with Autism the lure to do things will always overtake any good intentions.

Now dp is saying not giving him lunch was cruel and I should have allowed it at 12.00 as usual.

DS had, had more than enough and it was not done as punishment, as was explained to ds.

What in hells name can I do ??

Has anybody else been in this situation and can it be dealt with without resorting t locks ??

Pah, sometimes I don't know why I bother, dp also moaned at me for making ds go upstairs, find his own clothes and get dressed,i'm 'lazy' apparently

It's not bloody lazy, ds is capable of doing it therefore he will, and how the hell is it lazy when it was months of my effort which taught him in the first place

Humph, dunno why I bother sometimes, really feel like taking the easy way out and letting dp deal with it all but then we'd get bloody no where

How well do you think he would respond to having a menu for the day set out for him? Obviously tailored to his ability with pictures and/or text, as appropriate, but this way you could indicate portion sizes for him and indicate a choice of snacks for him at set times - just have that selection in the fruit bowl, as you already have.

It might be that you have to only shop for small amounts of food at a time (so he doesn't have access to 5 big pots of yoghurt) and keep boxes and packets of things like crisps and cereal bars locked away somewhere other than the kitchen (in your wardrobe, maybe. It's not somewhere he needs access to, so it's reasonable for you to lock it, if you have to.)

Thanks for the reply, I only had so much because I was planning on a family curry night (I use it in cooking) and we always have at least two pots for puddings and breakfast.Treats etc we usually buy as and when needed, makes it more exciting, its good for him to experience shops etc little and often too, he dosent get over stimulated and he's now able to manage a biggish shop without meltdown so my methods are working.

At the mo he asks for meals etc either verbally or by sticking velcro backed food pictures to a paper plate and he has been doing so, so well. I dunno,just feel as tho i'm banging my head against a brick wall sometimes

Sounds like a sensory thing. DD has thing to a lesser degree - NEEDS stuff in her mouth. Things that have helped: chewing gum, vibrating thing to put in her mouth, distraction.
Sorry, this is quick as I'm busy but couldn't leave this unanswered. Think I agree with you rather than DP - I try to get DD to dress herself (she's nearly 6 and can ALMOST do it with me standing over her telling her what to do). Think it is a useful life skill. Also agree if they have eaten too much, no lunch. If he can't regulate you have to teach him to regulate and, as you know, it can take months/years of hitting head against brick wall before ASD kids get there sometimes.
Sorry things are tough. We all have bad days!!

No real advice but i feel we will have the same problem with dd2, she's only 4 so at the moment i just keep her away from the food but as soon as she is let into the kitchen she is going through the cupboards eating as much as she can get her hands on. She often takes food from her sisters plate and will even restle with the dog if a crumb has been dropped on the floor.
We took her to a disco/party a few months ago, food was left on a table so people could help themselves, i spent the whole time trying to stop dd2 from eating, she ate loads of cakes, biscuits and chocolate, luckily she wasn't sick .