opinions please on "banning" a stim.

[wigglybeezer]

DS2 is 9. He has had a stim for years consisting of rotating a toy in front of his eyes and making "shooting" noises. I have waited for years for him to grow out of it (his sensory issues have diminished a great deal over the last few years).

I decided to ban him from doing it (it is a major source of irritation to his siblings) as i came to feel it was a habit retained from toddler years, a bit like sucking a thumb.

I gave him a date on which to stop and offered help with alternative relaxation activities and he has managed really well.

The funny thing is, now he has stopped the stim, he seems to be moving through the different age stages of playing with small toys, he has been pushing toy cars round the carpet saying vroom vroom like a three year old, something he didn't do at the appropriate age!

Do you think i have done the right thing? DS2 is very compliant and wouldn't complain out loud but he seems OK so far.

A stim is usually a response to stress, a need to concentrate or over-excitement and stimulation. If you remove the initial trigger, the stim will lessen.
Or you can have a 'No doing X at the table' rule which may work if the stim isn't being used at that moment to relieve stress.
You seem to have redirected which has worked.
Problem with banning one stim is that the next one may be more irritating for you or less socially acceptable.

that's why i put ban in inverted commas, it had to seem final to him for him to take it seriously although I wouldn't punish him if he failed. It was just beginning to seem like a habit for which there were alternatives rather than a need. He only does it when he is at a loose end not when he is stressed, it is as though it is his holding pattern but can be a barrier to him engaging more.

When he is stressed he tends to do other things like throat clearing or face touching (including nose picking which drives DS1 ,who doesn't like germs, bonkers). He can't seem to control those so we don't try to ban them.

I think the spinning (and the pacing that often accompanies it) are mostly sensory seeking behaviour, he seems to crave movement.

He has never done the spinning at the table, he usually does it in his room. I just feel that it is time for him to explore other ways of relaxing that don't compound his retreating into himself and help him to develop his play skills.

DS2 often seems to need a gentle push to move forward with things he has got stuck with.

Sounds as if you are handling things very well, so I'd keep going!