Brownies

[LetLoveRule]

Hello

My dd is 7, HFA/AS. She functions very well at MS primary and does swimming lessons etc without any support. She has now started Brownies, but the leader is very negative about her. I do understand that it is our job as parents to let her know what our daughters needs are (not that different, just someone to keep an eye on her if the routine changes). I am doing my best to be helpful, but the leader just persists in treating DD as if she is stupid (she is anything but). She also won't let her go on the overnight 'camp' trip. I am not sure whether or not it would be too much for her (on many other 7 year olds to be honest), but am a bit upset that she has decided this with no consultation at all. She won't even let me go along as well. DD is going to be devasted when her classmates are going and she can't.

Not sure what advice I am after, just a bit sad. How do other find out of school activities??

Thanks

Please don't give up on Brownies, though I can understand why you would want to. Talk to the District Comissioner, her phone number should be on the back of the 'Starting Brownies' leaflet you should have been given to fill in your daughters details. She will be able to give you a number of other Packs who will happily take your daughter. Failing that ring HQ and they will give you some numbers to ring.
It sounds to me like the pack your daughter is in has a very negative leader we are not all like that I promise.
Girlguiding is an all inclusive organisation and I know that in my county at least we are more than willing to take ANY girl who would like to join. I'm not normally a reader of the special needs boards but one of my Rainbows has just had aspergers dx and I came on to find out a little information about it so I can make meetings a little easier for her.
(the fact you would be happy to go along on the camp would make me hug you tight and never let go)

Thank you so much for such speedy, helpful replies. Yes, I have talked to the leader, as best I can, but she certainly doesn't make it easy to have a proper chat. I have also given her a very friendly one side of A4, just outlining her difficulties, strengths and quirks. I just don't get a good vibe. I am not sure how DD is finding it. She has been so excited to join and loves taking part in things, but I haven't got much feedback, which makes me wonder.

There is another pack where we live, but the waiting list is so long, I suppose I have been thinking I should persevere rather than DD have to pull out of this pack and go back on the list. But, it just doesn't feel right. DDs school is so fantastic and super-inclusive, it has just come as a bit of a shock to have this attitude. I know it will happen, but thought, as you say chrisrobin, that Brownies was for everyone.

Thanks again. I am really thinking now about what I should do for the best.

maryz - forget to add, yes she does go to friends houses for tea/play, but not to stay over. As I said, I am not 100% that I would agree her to staying away at camp, but I would like her to have to the opportunity if we thought it was suitable!

this makes me really cross for you, Letlove. My dd went to brownies and is now at guides; profoundly physically disabled, ventilator, you name it, but they have been nothing but welcoming to her and for us, it is v important as it is her only out of school social activity. having said that, she has a helper there at all times. so perhaps you could suggest you supply a helper? a teenage girl, for example, or a babysitter, would be able to one-to-one with your dd should it be necessary, and help out more generally if not. Alternatively, locally we have part of the PCT which aims to provide helpers for SN children to access out of school activities, and which are thus free to the user. You have to be assessed etc etc but perhaps you could find out if this service is available in your area. Alternatively would a TA from school go with her? Can you afford to pay? I found Guides HQ were really supportive of DD being part of the movement and once when I sent them pictures of her being involved in activities, they responded with the most lovely letter, a special badge, a mini teddy, my DD was thrilled. Oh, and she went to camp too! (I had to go as well, ho hum, but in the end it was fun and I sneaked in a bottle of wine to share with the owly types ...)

where abouts are you?

dd2 pack is very good with children with SN./ they currently have i think, 4 girls there with various SN. They come on pack holidays and are included in everything.

Good news! Apparently Brown Owl is retiring! Apparently I am far from the first parent to question her attitude - not just regarding SN. I am also going to ring the District Commissioner just to clarify with her that my DD should have the opportunity to go on camp like all the other girls. Feeling much more positive!

Thanks to all who replied.x

I am glad things are getting sorted for you. I am sure your daughter will go to camp at sometime especially if you are willing to go to. My Dd3 is currently being assessed for ASD, she goes to Brownies and I help every other week, she is treated the same as the others and given the same opps as them. I do tend to go on trips and she is not going away with them this year,as I think 7 is too young [imo] . Brownies should be inclusive and if that leader is not then she is doing it wrong.

Agree that contacting the District Commissioner and discussing inclusion policies in practice is a good idea.
Don't give up, I found Brownies and Guides very negative in my area for ASD children, they don't seem to be girly enough for the very traditional leaders.
Fortunately my AS son has been a Beaver, Cub and Scout and had fantastic support. He's one of their best and most enthusiastic campers and trekkers. They gave him clear guidelines and rules as well as consequences for inappropriate actions
So you could always try Beavers and see if they are more willing to cope.