I am sooooooooo bloody cross

[emkana]

So ds who has dwarfism plus developmental delay and who is supposed to start school in SEptember has been signed up for this group where they want to improve his speech, especially pronunciation of initial sounds. Fair enough I thought and today we went along. Got there and SALT says that of the four boys only one parent is allowed to stay per session. So I said ds won't stay without me, I need to stay. So she says okay you can stay today. We did session. At the end I asked her about it again, explained to her that ds displays high levels of separation anxiety and will not be left in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people just like that. So she says oh but this is preparation for school ( is it? That' s not what I signed up for, I thought it was about speech), I won't be able to stay at school ( I f*ing KNOW! which is why I have discussed it in detail with the SN teacher at his future school and why we will have an extended plan to settle him in, getting to know his teacher pre holidays, making a "going to school" book with photos to look at over the holidays etc) and that he's just trying to control me - which really REALLY pissed me off, I just don't go for this "he's just trying to manipulate you" bullshit!! She said "oh I observed him at preschool and he's so confident there" - well yes but htat took months and months and months and I stillb have to physically hand him over to the staff most days because he ddoesn't want to let me go...

and breathe...

What drives me to distraction (to use a phrase) is any professional defining young children's communication as 'manipulative'. All communication is manipulative! In other words, the only reason any of us communicate with anyone at all is to get them to do or feel or say or think something! Even "hello" is said to get someone to say it back again! Why don't they realise this?

It's a total nonsense in my view for them to to be suggesting near-sociopathic manipulative behaviours to a frightened child with a developmental delay, and I'm horrified.

and for good measure. both the SALT groups I went to with DS allowed parents and even, where needs must, young siblings. tbh it makes sense for parents to see what SALT are doing so they can carry on the work at home.

So in one session she had worked out exactly what the root of your sons separation anxiety is and worked out the solution? Why do professionals think they have some sort of superior intelligence?

If I had a penny for every time I've been told that my DC are fine once I'm out of sight I'd be a rich woman. They are not fine they just hide their feelings. CAMHS agree that they are not fine but TAs think they know better than me or CAMHS.

In order to be inclusive the SALT has to meet your son's needs. If that means you need to be there then that's what must happen. Don't discuss it, just do it.

Thanks guys. Have had a think and I will tell her next week that I will stay with him. I'm just not prepared to destroy his carefully built-up trust just to please her.

ds1's Speach therapist wanted me to do this when he was just 3.

i told her "You said yourself he has no communicative speech that you can understand - how will you know if he needs the toilet? Do you expect me to allow you to let him soil himself in public just because you'd prefer a less crowded room?"

And she said "Well, by the time he goes to school he'll be expected to communicate when he needs to go to the toilet!"

And I said "for one, he's 3, he doesn't go to school yet, and for number two - I thought it was your job to give him the skills to communicate, not cut him off from all his support?"

I did stay.

many 'old school' SALTs have only recently started seeing children who are under 4 or 5, and they really cannot get their heads around the fact that a 2 year old, or a 3 year old, is NOT a teeny tiny 5 year old.

Ds1's SALT's student kept asking him to "use the word 'light' in a sentence!" HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A SENTENCE IS, YOU DIMWITTED TWAT - HE'S 3 YEARS AND 2 MONTHS OLD. HE CAN'T READ!!!

If he was at a group to work on his seperation anxiety then yes fine BUT its a SALT group... how can it be best use of precious SALT time if your ds is upset.