autistic child ran out of school today!

[kittycat68]

got a call from my child mainstream school to say my child was missing and they did not know where he was and was seen leaving school, in the process of statment being agreed by lea and they have asked what school i want my child to attend. After frantically driving around child was found and was safe. child does not want to go to school tomorrow!suggestions have obviously tried to talk to child but child very defensive and refusing to talk. my ex insists that there is nothing wrong with the child and is just naughty and should be in mainstream school despite diagonsis and years of problems he is not supportive at all just tries to stop the child getting any help he told the school it was just me trying to get extra benefits! feel on my own with this i want my child to be happy but he hates school.

You must have been terrified!

Children who are just naughty don't get statements! Will your ex try to block you choosing the school you want? I hope not. You need to do what feels right and I guess after today the school he is currently in may feel very wrong.

I hope you get what you want and he needs.

thanks neenah, ex will probalby do his usual self litigant action in a prohibited step order just to be an arse! i want to do the right thing for the child but am tired of ex opposing everything i do to help this child. I was absolutely frantic today and had just picked up other child to take to her dyslexic lesson so had her with me whilst racing round the streets. i ahd warned the school preiously that this had happened before at primary school but they seemed very relaxed about it all it seemed only i was concerned.

Write down all the details now so you can use it as evidence that the school are not able to meet his needs.

If it happens again make sure the police are called too.

Kitty, how terrible you must have been worried sick. How old is your ds?

First i would be writing to school to ask why he left school, what lead up to him walking out and what steps they are taking to ensure this does not happen again.

Second i would be taking legal advice about ex and his hindering your childs needs.

My own ds gets very worried and will refuse to talk about what is bothering him. You could try things like

Getting him to draw a picture

Getting him to write it down

Ds and I play a guessing game. For example ds will say i was crying in school today. I ask why and his usual response is i dont want to talk about it. So i try to guess where he was when crying ie class room, play ground etc and he tells me if im right or wrong and gives me clues if im wrong. Then what made him sad ie did someone else make you feel sad etc, etc.

I try to keep it light hearted by having a couple of silly guesses.

Hope thats of some help.

Kitty- this is the one thing that really worries me about putting dd2 into mainstream , the school should not have allowed this to happen and i would be very , how old is your DS? If my dd2 managed to get out of school/nursery she would probably be hit by a car as she has no road sense and loves number plates.

Your ex is a twunt an probably in denial

I'd be getting the backing of the school too, sounds like it isnt the place for him and a special school or one which is smaller may be better suited.

did they call the police?

That should have been the first thing they did. This happened has happened with both my sn and nt children, so unfortunately it isn't jsut sn children that do decide to abscond.

Of course the worry with children with sn is that they are more likely to abscond, and more vunerable if they do get out.

Is he scared of getting into trouble when he goes back?
I'd try to keep your ex well out of it if he is trying to hinder everything. Dxs and statements aren't handed out on plates.

I agree with Chops. They should have called the police immediately. We have children who regularly abscond at my school and this has always been our first course of action. If we see children abscond, we follow at a safe distance, but absolutely do not chase them. This could result in them running away from us, and running into a road.

You must have been terrified. Have you arranged a meeting with the school to discuss the incident? Do you feel that his school is generally supportive, and able to put strategies in place to try and a. stop this happening again, and b. support his emotional state? Is he generally happy there, or is this episode one in an series of incidents?

Have you discussed with his SENCO or with the Ed Psych, what other schools they suggest you have a look at?

The trouble is that if a child is truly determined to leave a school building, it is highly likely they will find a way. In our school children have been known to scale the fence, which is about 12 foot high.

many thanks for to all of you for your ideas. 12 year old did not want to go to school today it took nearly two hours to get him in the car this morning and when we got there he refused to get out. i had to go and get the head of year to encourage him out of the car. Child responds to males telling him and not females (not sure if this is due to the domestic violence in marrage) child upset when he came home. will write to the school will the above suggestions thanks. am taking child to visit SN school on friday the ms school said that they can meet his needs and have encouraged me to put them on his statement but as he hates school and can not read or write and is becoming more physically aggressive, tried to strangle younger sister yesterday, my instints are to try to get him in a SN school. Hes having a nice doughnut now so has cheared up! also i did mention several times about calling the police but they said lets just see if he turns up in a few minutes this went on for just over half an hour before he was found hiding in some bushes in the car park! and yes this is just another episode in a series of incidents at the school.

they certainly don't sound capable of meeting his needs. Good luck getting a sn placement.

Again, I agree with Chops. It doesn't sound like they are meeting his needs. The escalation in aggression would worry me, as an indication of his emotional state. I think you need a large amount of detail about how they think they can meet his needs.

Half an hour is far too long for a child to be missing before the police is called. It should be done straight away.

Good luck with the SN school. I'm sure some of the ladies on here could help you formulate a list of questions to ask/things to look out for.

how awful. you must have been frantic! my sister had similar with ds. She uses bright orange disposabe id bracelets and writes emerg contact no on them. very visible if ds found, useful on holiday or travelling. called amber bands i think and she buys them online . good luck with sn schoolplacement