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SN children

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Original poster

DD1 went to a party and did really well :DD

12 replies

lou031205 · 01/05/2010 22:21

DD1 hasn't been invited to any parties this year. But then the other little girl with SN at her preschool had a party today, and DD1 was invited along with around 13 others (15 children in total).

It was at a softplay, which was good because there was no structured play, and no confusing party games/funny rules. No furniture to damage, no confined space, no 'dynamics' with children. Just slides and padded climbing opportunities (heaven for DD1).

She ate her tea really well, sitting relatively nicely, eating well. Then she played pass the parcel with only a little distress (doesn't understand having to pass the parcel without tearing a layer, and having to wait until it's your turn).

Ok, so she ran away in the carpark afterwards, and I couldn't find my keys so she ran riot, but we coped, and she contentedly sighed

"we had great time, did(n't) we Mummy"

OP posts:

kittyfu · 01/05/2010 22:23

thats great glad dd had a good time

MiladyDeWinter · 01/05/2010 22:37

Oh how lovely! So many things to be pleased about

ouryve · 01/05/2010 22:55

That's brilliant!

DS2 went to his first party, today and left before the food was even served. It was more structured and the magician didn't hold his attention and the music was too loud and he ended up constantly trying to escape.

claw3 · 02/05/2010 00:32

'We had a great time, did'nt we mummy' bought a tear to my eye.

Im chuffed for you and your dd.

Original poster

lou031205 · 02/05/2010 09:25

ouryve, take heart, we have had many a party (all of children whose parents I know, rather than 'true' party invites), where I have been trying to contain the writhing form of DD1 in meltdown. Stupid games, with complicated rules, or food easily accessible and on display at the start of the party, but tea not til the end, etc. Confusing.

I remember one party, where everyone was inside, and DD1 & I were outside on the swings

OP posts:

Militantendancy · 02/05/2010 11:51

That's lovely that you both had a great time!

When DD gets party invites we do always go. Some are better than others, for all sorts of reasons, but if it is too loud and noisy, we just make our excuses and slip away.

I am determined to ensure DD has the same opportunities as other children.

Well done to both of you!

APassionateWoman · 02/05/2010 12:51

Totally and utterly relate with this thread, lou. DS (aged 5 yrs, AS) went to a birthday party yesterday (also rarely invited) and was also very good and had a great time. It was heart warming to see . He didn't interact hugely with other kids and he did ask to leave slightly early of his own accord, but there were no meltdowns, he sat nicely at tea time and managed to navigate a very busy bouncy castle without causing or coming to any harm - and he genuinely seemed to enjoy himself.

Feels wonderful when these things go well

LollipopViolet · 02/05/2010 16:27

Aww lou the last line of your post brought a tear to my eye too! That's lovely that it went so well

5inthebed · 02/05/2010 16:39

Glad she had a lovely time

ouryve · 02/05/2010 21:05

lou, we're really pleased he actually lasted almost an hour. Most of that hour was spent running between one of the doors and a table and patting down all the tablecloths with the occasional pause to giggle at balloons, but he did stay calm and didn't melt down or fall asleep, even when he'd had enough and was trying to hammer down the exit!

In contrast, some of the parents were yakking loudly all the way through the magic show

Original poster

lou031205 · 02/05/2010 22:52

That's great, ouryve. I was talking to my Dad today, about how good DD2 was being (I had taken her out for a trip to the shops with us, and she was really good as gold). But then I was saying that it is so important to remember that as good and wonderfully behaved DD2 (2.8) was being, for DD1 to be even a fraction as 'good' and well behaved is so much more of an achievement, and takes so much more effort on her part. So you can't compare them.

I think for all our children with SN, we need to get very good at celebrating the tiny steps towards thriving that they take. It is so easy to look at all they struggle with, but so rewarding to see tiny victories.

Well done little ouryve

OP posts:

ouryve · 03/05/2010 00:12

We certainly celebrate different things for our two. DS1 can do so many things that DS2 can't but we are definitely more pleasantly surprised and pleased when we get round the shops without DS1 sending our blood pressure through the roof. DS2 is non-verbal and we're loving his little attempts at speech, right now. DS1 is has fantastic mechanical speech, but we're pleased with him when he actually tells us he has soiled his nappy. DS2 makes it perfectly clear to us, most of the time, but DS1 finds it so difficult.

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