Potty training SN child

[loueytbg]

DS1 is 3.1 and has global developmental delay, possible dyspraxia and very little spontaneous communication. He has a twin brother who we successfully trained last summer when he was 29 months.

We started potty training DS1 yesterday following some interest from him in sitting on the potty and the toilet - role playing DS2. He had no success at all yesterday, 3 wees on the potty today (after sitting him on it for hours) but a hideous mess with poos. He understands and can say toilet and potty, but his communication is pretty poor and he doesn't really request anything (including food/drinks).

We are going to carry on tomorrow at least and probably Monday as well. Our problem is that come Tuesday, he is back at nursery for the afternoons and I'm not sure what to do. Do we put him in pull ups to avoid the hideous mess of poo that is likely to happen. I know the advice is not to use pull ups but I don't know what the alternative is.

Have we started too early and are we expecting too much? Any advice would be appreciated. I've posted this on the potty training board as well.

Hi loueytbg
I would see how you get on the next few days and use the pull ups if you feel he isn't quite there yet. Worst thing would be to put him off altogether at this stage if it gets too messy when he is at nursery. Maybe just go at his pace - sounds like he is getting it with doing the wees on the potty which is good news. At least he sits on the potty which is something my dd won't do at all!

Good luck with it.

dd1 (cp) trained at about 3 or 4 with full support from nursery - have you spoken to them about training him? Her support assistant had kind of a programme of when to take her to the toilet.

We went from nappies to cloth pull-ups, for the sensation of wetness. The doctor recommended it but tbh we were using cloth anyway.

I think talking to nursery, or to any therapists he may have is the only way forward here. Does he have support? In my experience, it took a lot longer with dd1 than it did with NT dd2 and we did need to use different techniques.

Good luck!

My experience is that it is just 'later and longer' - ie just do what you did with the other one but have lower expectations and just keep going ! I think pull ups are fine if you are worried about nursery or go for washable pullups - that's what i did. It really should not affect nursery.

Cappster and cyber Cloth pull ups are a good idea, thank you - I think I've seen those in mothercare.

He has a support worker in nursery (he's only there 2 afternoons a week for 2 hours) so I can talk to her but the problem at the moment is that he is on the potty for such a long time that he would be on it for half of the session.

I have been told if we leave potty training too late then it could be even harder - not sure whether this is true or not.

I have tried and failed miserably this weekend to start potty training ds, who is 3.10. No idea what to do. He's now back in pull-ups. [shocks] Why would it be harder later? I was hoping it would get easier.

my DS didn't start getting the hang of potty training till 3.5 - he stated copying me on the toilet (apart from the producing), then after a month of that he took himself off to have a wee, and we took things from there. I gradually phased nappies out over the next 6 months (was too stressed over the SN stuff to cope with accidents when out, on public transport etc). I found that DS could take himself to the toilet at home and nursery when he needed to without having to say it - language wise I just needed a yes/no answer to "do you need the toilet" when out and about.

my gut feeling - obviously you know your child best - is that it's a bit early for him to ditch the nappies completely, I would have more nappy free time at home, and encourage toilet use at set times (after meals, after bath etc).

DS2 was toilet trained a month before his 4th birthday. It was a very long process though. We started off by putting him on the toilet/potty after every nappy change so he got used to the sensation of sitting down without a nappy. progressed very slowly from there until he had his first wee on it, then about a month later he had his first poo.

I'd definitenly send him with a pull up on, and tell the support worker that you are toilet training him.

Good luck, he sounds like he's doing great.

ds2 was not dry until he went to school. (4.25) He was at a sn school and they were experts at potty training. He was dry within half a term but it took him a few more years to be dry at night. (7)

Once we heard how the sn school did it we followed suit. As he was heavily into numbers and could tell the time very early on, we used clocks. he had little drawing of clocks with certain times on it. When the drawing matched the clock on the wall he went off to the toilet and sat there, we ran a tap in the hope it might help after a few minutes he'd get off. the drawings with times on were very close to start with and gradually we spaced them out until they matched school arrival,break time, lunch time, afternoon play, hometime and teatime. Not sure if this is a common approach but it worked for us and maybe if your ds is into numbers it might help.

Good luck