Goodbye

[daisy5678]

This place has been a lifeline for me over the last few years. I've felt understood and supported, and hope that I've given that back in return, even if my opinions are strong.

However, when you realise that a place isn't what you thought and that people weren't what you thought, and that you have the wrong impression about what others think of you, it's clearly time to move on and hope that the support can be found elsewhere.

I really hope that everyone gets what they want for their children. I feel like I know some of your lives as well (or even better) than some of those of my friends'. I might have been wrong about that in some cases, but not all, and to those who've been great to me, thanks and good luck.

I didn't want to just go without saying all that, really. Especially the thanks. It really has kept me sane, knowing there were people who understood.

I haven't heard anything about stalkers or people e-mailing MN.

Hope you're okay GMS. xx

I haven't seen any stalkers unless it's me online too often. I agree though that FB is a bit sinister for surreptitious joining together of data - I am on it but never put any personal data on it.

I'm even less OK now that a post has gone on here, linking that FB pseudonym, which I deliberately kept separate from my MN name for reasons that I explained on FB, with my MN name, which can be easily linked to my RL name. I am reporting that post for that reason, so that is why it will (hopefully) be deleted, no other reason.

PK so as that message was deleted I wanted to come on under my own old anme and explained what happened as a deleted message seems as if I was being rude and in no way was I.

I accidentally used an alternative posting name for GMS without thinking, I stiull think I deserve to explain what really ahppened and also make my apology very very clear and known.

So OK I was having issues with someone on here not in SN and had been panicky, 2shoes knew this but I had no evidence. Those who know me will have noted many name changes as a reponse lately. Then I had an email from facebook saying someone wanted to be friends. I can't mention what that persons pseudonym was for GMS's sake but it was a name that made me think that either some aprent at school had got nasty (again those who know me will understand) or someone else was being very odd.

I had no idea that eprson was GMS: Had I done so I woudl have accepted her like a shot.

I posted on MN asking if anyone went by that name and nobody said they did- someone else posted to say it sounded dogy though, again I cannot link now to that as it uses the name.

I then got a bit shaky and emailed MNHQ to say I thought that the person I had long ahd issues with and who has self admitted MH Issues may ahve contacted me. There was no profile or details attahced to the FB profile. I said in that jesage that I had no proof and did not know if it was her (him?) or not. I posted on FB that I thought I had attratced a stalker- many on here would ahve seen it.

FB lady contacted me to say that she was angry I had said she had MH issues (which I hadnt) and immediately I typed that on the FB thread with a mesage that I had made a mistake. I emailed MNHQ immediately.

FB lasy was still upset so I emailed MNHQ an apology: the facebook profile and MN details relating to name I had were closed off.
I ahve just found out MNHQ have sent apology (they replied when I agreed to GMS's request to have previous message deleted) but it was delayed until today.

It was only when GMS started this thread that I linked her and GB lady together. How I could have said she had MH issues I do not know, given that-I assume rumours or misrepresennted info were involved but haven't seen or ehard anything.

I am really sorry GMS was hurt, I know she has seen my apology but don;t think she wishes to accept it. It was 100% a mistakea and I am deeply sorry for any hurt caused although genuinely know that no ill intent was invovled: previous MN worries plus school sit + odd FBV name led me to put two and two together and make 6.

Please don;t go GMS. You weren't even really invovled as a name or known quantity until the thread started, so surely that bshows I did not mean you in any way? I lumoped that email in with someone else that MNHQ has confirmed has popped on their radar as well.

Sorry.

X posts 2shoes

but thanks

can this end now please?

Oh dear, lots of confusion and mistaken identities here.

Givemesleep, this is a supportive forum. This is a place you belong. And not only do you belong here, and can get support, but there are a whole bunch of people on here who rely on you for support. I alone have started about 5 threads in the last few days .

If things were as you reported on your explanation post, I would agree with you that you should walk away. But, Peachy has been sincere and humble in her explanation of the misunderstanding, and her reasons for being a little panicky in her reactions. She is having a seriously difficult time with the school, as you know.

You need to balance up what you gain and what you lose if you walk away. For the record, we will all lose

Oh Lord, my post about name-changing was bloody stupid, why should you? I am very daft, it was all in your OP but I didn't see it at until it was spelled out (my ASD)

Sorry and I agree with lou, we will all lose without you

GMS

You and I have not always seen eye to eye in the past BUT I really do value your views ans insight and am gutted that you've been treated in such a way by other members of this SN board (knowingly or unknowlingly - it doesn't matter).

Please reconsider. We're a relatively small group us parents of SN children and we need all the help / tips / support / encouragement we can get from each other.

And that most definitely includes your input.

Whatever you decide I wish you the very best for you and your DS in the future.

I think the poist WA is that she wasn't treated that way unknowingly- it was right about a specific person, just that message was accidentally included in amongst a lot of other things that still stand but can't be discussed on here

Which of course GMS had no way at all to know was underway, how could she?

As far as I can work out it is a guilt free thing, lots of mistakes, but no harm intended by anyway

Had GMS not started this thread nobody would have been any the wiser that FB lady was her; no link would have been made. As far as I and presumably anyone else was boncerned, the FB lady would ahve vanished into memory as unidentified.

But there's nothing I can do now. Should GMS doubt my word on any of this I am happy for her to see my FB profile (I did consider deleting that thread but I feel I deserve my right to prove innocence)- I have a copy of every email sent to MNHQ saved (or rather, an inbox of 122,000 messages as I am rubbish at filing and deleting). I can completely prove my innocence but as I could not release them on here without harm to GMS and revealing other information, I have to just hope that my good character stands me in stead on the rest. Ihave posted without harmong anyone for a decade; if that's not enough then there is nothing else I can do. I did consider walking from MN myself but why would I? I have so much on my plate right now- and truly beelive I have done nothing above make an understandable mistake. There is no real reason for GMS to go either; I understand that she was hurt but what hurt her wasn't what actually happened. I don't know where her understanding of it came from and tbh at this stage I don't wish to, I need to lay this aside, but it somehow it misled her.

And that is truthfully all that can be said on the matter by me. I know I have definite faults but they are not spite, cruelty or nastiness.

Oh and I am going to hide this now as I can do no more. What's the point at picking over a scab?

Thank you for the apology, Peachy. MN have also forwarded the message that you sent them for me on Friday.

I don't accept that all this is my fault for starting this thread, and nor do I really accept that I shouldn't have asked MN to delete the post that identified my different names.

Sorry if that made you angry, 2shoes, but it wasn't really about you. I appreciate that you've tried to help in the latter part of all this. You said I was being unfair - I don't think that I was. You knew from my email to you on Friday what I thought had happened and you didn't let me know then that it was a 'misunderstanding', so how could I have known? The first explanation that I have had was on that deleted post, 4 days after it happened. I'm not saying it was your responsibility to tell me, by the way, but to get all 'FFS' and 'you're being unfair' and 'I'm very angry' does seem very unfair on me, given that I'm the one who the mistake affected and I'm the one who got no explanation for 4 days.

Anyway, this doesn't seem any healthier than before. I don't know how to make it so. I'm just being honest and explaining myself. Of course peachy doesn't need to leave. It's everyone's choice to post or not and if this has made me feel a bit differently about MN and the SN board and stuff, that's my problem, nobody else's.

I do appreciate peachy's apology and also the kind words of many of you.

Oh, and the reason I've not put this on TTR is that the previous stuff got deleted. Also, for obvious reasons, I'm being a little more privacy-conscious now and TTR makes more 'connections' between names.So I'm not ignoring that message, 2 shoes, just wanted to say.

'I don't accept that all this is my fault for starting this thread, and nor do I really accept that I shouldn't have asked MN to delete the post that identified my different names.'

It's not your fault; it linked the two but it's not your fault. Or mine. It's just a thing.

And I think it was fine to ask me to ask MN to delete that post, and I did as you asked (I suspect you also asked them yourself yes) immediately I had your email, but I can completely se 2shoes point as well- when one sees a post with 'message deletd' one thinks nasties have been said. I felt a bit at the time as if I were ebing dendied my chance to respond but as the second was left can now see that didn't happen. I was a bit foolish using the posting name absolutely: not malevolent but just foolish and posting in a wtf do I do now daze. You know what the name, was, I am sure you can see why I equated it witrh eitehr someone at school or malevolence: you can also search and find that I did start a thread trying to find out if it was someone on MN so did try and prevent this happening.

The offer to see the emails I sent to MNHQ all through this, including the initial one making the report, still stands. And will continue to do so as theya re simply in my sent box so retrievable at any time.

And as for faults, willpower and inability to let things go- ah yes that'd be me then.

GMS, you've helped laods over the eyars and are the only person I know with a child like ds1. I'd have given anything to have realised what was happening early on. Becuase my posts are spread through MN more than many and I do spend a lot of time in more contentious areas, I was always going to be vulnerable. I suspect my inability to back down from soemthing makes that worse as well. The fact of your FB request arriving in the middle of that was a random chance. In my intial email to MNHQ I said that I didn't know if they were linked, but it was the grain of sand that tipped the scales I guess.

I did think about going but in ten eyars here I have never had a message against anyone deleted so can't see why I should. I would much rather things got back to normal. MN blow ups are an inevitable part of not being able to communicate face to face, I just wish it hadn't been us caught up in this one.

I don't post on here as Peachy any mmore (well once when I forgot to change back earlier, oops) which I hope is a sign to you that I really had been having worries. I've already been outed on another thread under my new name but won't change it until I have to. maybe I won't? Would be nice.

Good luck to you GMS. FWIW I don't bear you any ill will: I hope you don't me, or at elast you don't when this has calmed down, and can look back and see it for the momumental gaff it was. I an't change it now, sadly. Wish I could.

gms I never had an email from you.

My yahoo sent box says you did. Have re-forwarded it to you.

I have not had an eamil from you.
yahoo can be very slow, somone sent me one on a friday once and it turned up on the monday......
But at this time, I have not received any emails from you....OK

Standing on the outside of this, it is very sad to see people getting hurt over what seems like a genuine mistake.
Peachy gave a heartfelt apology and has offered "evidence" of her mistake.
2shoes is now upset, also she was trying to help.
GMS to me it seems these posters and others on this thread,have shown they care about you and dont want you to go.You will do what you need to do, but as someone said earlier-you have to way up how much youll gain or loose to walk away.
Wishing you well.