statement advice please - last bit of naming school etc! sorry really long post!

[meerkatsandkookaburras]

please can someone help me were in a right pickle and i dont know what to do for the best and where we stand on all this, ahs anyone ever been in this position and if so what did you do or what can i do??!?!

my ds is 4 and a half and has autism. he is kind of middle spectrum i would say in that he is not extremely low functioning but definately not aspergers either. he has significant behavioural problems and probable adhd, he also has sensory issues and is generally behind in most areas though his cognitive skills are pretty good given his other problems. now were in nottinghamshire where statements are very difficult to get as they have an inclusion policy and hate to give out statements!!! were at the last point of the statement, i have agreed under duress that the provisional statement is ok because i was led to believe at the meeting i had with the statementing officer that he was going to my choice of school anyway and the issues i had with the statement were really not necessary and were more appropriate if he was going to mainstream as special schools do those things anyway so it was not necessary to put it in statement! i agreed that was ok if they were sure it would be fine for specials school and he would still get that help. well then it becomes complicated!! we have recvently moved from halfway betweeen town a and town b to in the middle of town b! the schools are all area special schools rather than more specialist ones.

town a - one special school, has places for my ds's age range however i do not like the school at all. they were sent his statement but im not sure what their reply was - i imagine probably it was yes as they have a few places and he would fit in there in their eyes, just not in my eyes!!

town b - there are 2 special schools which i was led to believe (until this week when the statementing officer phoned to tell me otherwise) were merging onto one site - that of school yp. i love school yp but didnt like school r (the other one of this town). now my ds's needs kind of fit a little better into school r (but still also be ok in yp) however as i believed (as i was told this!!) that the kids from school r were coming to school yp i named school yp on the forms as thats where i prefer. if i had known they were staying seperate i would still have named yp but have visited r again to be sure the reasons that i didnt want that one. i was told i co0uld not visit school r as they were "undergoing changes and not accepting any admissions" whcih also fitted with being told they were merging!

Now, fastforward to this week when i recieve a phonecall from the statementing officer at the local authority to say school yp has offered him a place at their r site! i said what do you mean?!?!? she said "the schools are remaining seperate however becoming a federation and sharing the same set of governers though they can share resources though the children at each site will remain at those sites so "ds" will always be at r site". so i have been told i have now got to look around school r tomorrow and then the statementing officer is ringing me back to discuss if that is suitable so as to name it on his final statement!!!

I didnt like school r when i looked around it about 1yr 6 months ago though am open to the idea it may have changed however i do feel school yp is still best in my eyes for him but it seems they will only offer him a place at the r site!?!? though i havent asked if that means definately no to the yp site! so tomorrow i am trying to go with an open mind but if i still do not like it im stuck i think as will need to have really good reasons why it is not suitable and why yp is, however my worst nightmare would be for him to be sent to the school in the other town which now weve moved is a 35min drive from here and i hated the school anyway - long story but id rather homeschool him than him go there if thats the onoly choice i am left with i really hated their attitudes!!

so where do i stand being i was very much kept in the dark about this school mertging/not merging thing?? what sort of reasons would i be able to use for a school not being suitable that they couldnt just say they could change, only thing i can think of is peergroup - i think they dont have others his age with autism though got to see when i look around tomorrow.

also to complicate matters the final statement is due to be issues by 3rd may - which is next monday and bank holiday so we dont have much time left!!! what happens if i dont agree with final statement if they name a school im not happy with. i know this may all be premature and school r might be better hnow that when i last looked and may be perfect btu as statementing officer is phoning when we get back i want to work out exactly what i can ask for or insist on etc before i go and know all the ins and outs of the rules etc that may apply given this whole randomness of merging/not merging!
im sorry this is so long but i really am in a right pickle as to what to do, im even wondering if i should change my mind and consider mainstream after all if i cant get the special school i want for him as if the other is unsuitable and the la wont budge on things id rather he was in a mainstream with kids he knows a little from his ms preschool than a failing special school which is what school r was until about 6 months ago when the head of school yp temporarily took it over to try to bring it back up as far as i have been told!!

oh its such a mess i didnt know all this would happen all i want is a good school for ds where he will get the support he needs. id prefer special but if its a disaster of one thats not suitable then i dont know anymore and i have to decide and sort it out this week please soemone help me and tell me what my options are!?

so sorry just realised how long it is hope someone has time to read it and give me some advice

Cant respond now will later x

I'm reading and thinking....just so you know someone is I'll post when I have something useful to say....

thankyou xx

OK, first thoughts are that the SEN COP says:

"8:62 Where an LEA proposes to issue a statement or amend part 4 of an existing statement
they must name the maintained school ? mainstream or special ? that is preferred by the
parents, providing that:
the school is suitable for the child?s age, ability and aptitude and the special
educational needs set out in part 2 of the statement
the child?s attendance is not incompatible with the efficient education of other children
in the school, and
the placement is an efficient use of the LEA?s resources."

So, the first question is does YP meet the requirements above?

Secondly, R is a mixed 3-11 school, whereas YP is a mixed 3-19 school. Could you argue that as a child with ASD, your DS needs the continuity of education which would be afforded by being educated at an establishment which will continue his education for all of his educational years, rather than face a change in year 6/7?

Have you looked at the difference in distance from your house to R and YP? If YP is further away, but both R & YP are over 2 miles, you could offer/accept that you will be meeting the cost of transporting him.

Have you checked that YP actually has places? R has 30 on roll, YP has 100.

thanks for your help, and you have obviously seen the two schools im referring to lol. yp definately has places. the transport issue has not been raised yet but r is only 1.7 miles form our house, yp is more than that and more like about 4 miles i think though not checked as i know its more than 2 miles so didnt see it as too relevant!

i had thought of arguing the change at 11 thing but wasnt sure that would be a big enough deal?!

i believe yp meets the requirements though they may argue that the autistic children are more severe there as many dont have language though my ds does now, btu its not perfect by a long shot and he still often prefers to sign/use symbols.

i think r has places merely because they keep chopping and changing their mind about keeping it open whereas yp has always been open and never had that issue, but yp definately has places, it seems they just are trying to avoid sending my ds there!!

also the local authority implied on the phone that by the two schools now being kind of linked they are giving me my choice!!! which of course they are not but do you think i stand anywhere on that one?!

thanks so much for your reply xx

i had thought of arguing the change at 11 thing but wasnt sure that would be a big enough deal?!

It's a huge deal for an ASD child

well thats my thoughts but do you think lea would see it like that??

just checked and yp is 3.5 miles form us so not too far really! its not like im asking them to send him to a school the other side of the county!

It sounds as if they are going to put the more severe in yp and the middling ones like your son in r. I would go where the appropriate peer group is - you want him to have similar friends. They may have different teaching strats at r - focussed on slightly higher functioning as well.

I'd go round r and really ask some questions.
One of the key ones being 'where generally to pupils move on to at 11'

Have a good look at the other pupils - are they equivalent? Are they being challenged within their ability and functioning level yet still happy and anxiety free.
What do they do for meltdowns, etc. How understanding are they of individual quirks and what are their attitudes.

What specalist provision is there - SALT, OT, etc

What was it originally about r that you didn't like so much?

Remember your son is still small and will change a HUGE amount over the next 6 years. It's really hard and often very difficult to actually quantify that feeling of 'it doesn't feel right'. I went to one school which gave me the complete heebie jeebies yet another parent raved about it. It's horses for courses. However, I think if you come out tomorrow about 70% satisfied, realistically speaking, I'd go with r unless there is something really major about attitudes or the environment which makes your skin crawl.

All the best and let us know which one you decide on.

Ok back now. My daughter is the transition to secondary stage and we have got the same decision to make in regard to naming the school so the statement can be finalised.

I would visit them all and ask the same questions and see how I felt when I was there. If you are not still not keen on the nearest one I think it is worth arguing that the children there are more severe in terms of need than your son and you feel that this may be a disadvantage to your sons future progress, his self esteem in regard of how he might see himself to be, and that you are concerned that the transition maybe a difficulty at age 11.

The LEA know that the placement has a better chance of being successful if the parents are happy with it rather than if they are not. So be open with them about which one you prefer and why.

thanks so much, im so stressed about the whole thing, and to top things off ds is poorly so wont be at nursery tomorrow so ill have to go to look around on my own as oh will have to stay with ds!! its so stressful the whole thing, i think im going to have such a job saying r is not suitable but when i look around tomorrow maybe something will jump out at me that makes it unsuitable, fingers crossed either that or its changed a lot since i looked around last time and its perfect!! i love yeoman park its the best school i looked around and they are so perfect for ds, the only issue that of the asd kids there ds is a little more able than them and has better language, but his behaviours, sensory etc are all pretty similar to them and i dunno about cognitive ability as im not sure what theres are like in comparison!!!

I am sure you can ask for an extension of time before the statement is issued to allow you to make the right decision given the situation has changed form what you were expecting. However if you do this agree to extend time by a set period not leave it open ended otherwise they might just delay issuing the statement at all.

So perhaps ring up and say I know stmt due by X but actually if you agree we would like to put that date back to y as its an important decision and we don't want to rush it..

ooh hadnt thought about asking for it to be delayed i didnt know that was possible, will ask that tomorrow when i speak to local authority person again!