Need advice on an 'enclosed' bed for DS2

[sphil]

DS2 has always taken a long time to settle at night. He has a fairly large bedroom and a normal single bed. He spends the first few hours after bedtime rushing up and down his room, bouncing against the side of the bed or opening/shutting the door repeatedly, whooping, yelling etc. DS1 can't sleep and it's starting to affect how he feels at school.

When we go camping DS2 sleeps either in the roof of our campervan or in the inner sleeping compartment of our awning. He falls asleep immediately and sleeps all night (to be fair he usually sleeps through at home as well, but he wakes up earlier).

The reasons for this, as far as I can see are

1. He's going to bed later
2. It's darker
3. There's someone sleeping with him
4. It's enclosed and womb-like

So Dh and I have been trying to think of ways to recreate the camping experience at home, without putting him to bed at 10pm (we both have to prepare lessons in the evenings).

Sorry this is long-winded but I've finally got round to my questions...
Has anyone got any ideas for a tent like or enclosed structure we could use on the bed? Ikea used to do a lovely star canopy (there's some on Ebay) but I'm not sure it would be sturdy enough. It also needs to be washable.

Secondly, can you fit blackout curtains on a bay window and what's to stop him simply lifting them up at the bottom and standing underneath?(which is what he does with his curtains).

Thirdly - any other ideas?
Thanks - DS1 will be very grateful

We have a black out blind for the dds window (in fact, it is their only curtain ) which is a travel one - it suckers on to the pane, and can be whatever size you want. But yes, dd1 does just push it aside when she wants ot look out of the window. I'll see if I can find a link in a mo.

The only thing I can think of for enclosing your ds' bed is lee-cloth type things. maybe search around some boat outfiters? lee-cloths are usually canvas material (and very comfy, if secured right) but I'm not sure how you'd get him to stay there in the first place.

have you tried breaking the whole cycle? totally wrong-footing him, and seeing what happens? we have just come out of a horrendous year of sleep issues with dd1. she alwyas went ot bed jsut fine, but liek your ds would sing/chat/read books for anyhting up to 3 hours before gouign to sleep. it didn't particualrly affect anyone else, so we let it be. then a year ago she started screaming the place down. every night. for hours. she was hysterical, and seemingly very frightened.

the only thing that worked (and I had been convinced it wouldn't, at ALL) was to go to bed with her. yes, a huge backward step, but it was always with a longer term plan of withdrawing. due to dd1's extraordinary control issues, it has tken us longer than we would have like dot withdraw - we were out of the room within 3 days, but had to stay in view for a couple more months, and then in hearing, etc.

fingers crossed we have cracked it, and this last week she has been going to bed and we have been able to come back downstairs immediately. I honestly thought i'd never see the day again. but it does seem to have totally reset dd1's sleep pattern. she now goes to bed straight away, and is asleep within 20 mins usually (unless dd2 wants ot chat - they share). she was staying on her bed until she went to sleep very early on in the process, and within 3 months or so was asleep within 1 hour. so, a painful process, but less interruption overall.

I was totally convinced it wouldn't work, and it was very much a necessity thing becasue dd1 was so scared (still don't know what of). but it did work - we got peaceful evenings back very quickly, and dh and I took it in turns to be the one sitting outside. non-engagement with dd1 was a must, of course.

this is the blind we have for the dds.

it does work well, if not pushed aside . thankfully, dd1 now seems to have got over doing that in the evenings, so just pushes it asie in the mornings when she wakes is woken by dd2

Dd2 usually goes off to sleep fine, but is very disturbed during the night and has always woken up as soon as any light appears - nightmare in the summer!

We redecorated the girls' room at Easter and now have a cabin bed with dd2 on a mattress under the bed (so works like bunkbeds but she can't hurt herself by falling out - she has sleep apnoea and rarely stays on her bed). I made a little set of curtains so that her bed area is enclosed and it has made it really snug and 'womb-like', much more so than I had imagined. Maybe a bit drastic for you to change the bed, but might be worth it (unless having a high bed creates hazards re jumping off etc?)

For a blackout for the windows, you can buy blackout material by the metre from John Lewis or online and then cut it to size and fix to the window with velcro (stuck to frame and stitched onto blackout material) - this makes a perfect fit and has worked much better than anything else I've tried before.

Incidentally, we got the cabin bed from Ikea and got the canopy to go over the top (precisely to stop dd2 from climbing up and bouncing on the top bed!!). It's not that sturdy and could be moved fairly easily by an older child. Also, don't think it's washable (it is wipeable though).

DS2's bed is very womb like, and I find it does help him sleep a bit better, and he stays in there in the morning, where as he used to get up as soon as he woke. He has a cabin bed with high wooden sides, a bed canopy, and one of those triangle pillows you use for beastfeeding as well as the usual bedding.

This bed is similar and we have this bed canopy.

That's exactly what we have!

Habitat do a funky covered bed - not cheap at £499, I've coveted it when browsing in the store!

Could you get a bunk bed and just let him sleep in the bottom bunk? The upper bunk would enclose it quite well if you hung curtains around it. It's something I did as a kid to create a four-poster experience.

Thuka do an Igloo bed tent at £129. It's designed for their own bed, not sure if you could attach it to a normal bed?

And I found this on a US site.

These are all great ideas - thank you. I wouldn't want him off the ground, simply because we are still toilet training and anything that might delay him getting into the bathroom is not a good thing! But the idea of putting curtains round a bunk bed with him sleeping on the bottom is a good one.

Silverfrog - DS2 likes us to lie down with him sometimes, but is often very adverse to having anyone actually in the room - mind you, I think this is because he wants to rush about. He just keeps saying 'night night' and trying to push us out.
I looked at your blackout curtain link - would one of those cover a whole bay window?
How strong are the suckers? I think Ds2 would just be tempted to pull them down. The velcro idea might work - but I think he might pull that too, once he'd worked it out. The problem is that we have to leave the bathroom light on for him, so there's quite a lot of light coming in anyway. If we switch it off he switches it on again!

For a couple of years, the only way we could go away and get any sleep at all was to put DS in a pop-up tent. We got one for £7.50 and used to squeeze it in quite small rooms. It's a weird but cheap option!

DS2 hates sleeping in the pitch black, and before we reaised, he used to sleep with his bedroom light on. We bought him a go glow light, and the light wasn't very bright, but bright enough for him to feel safe. It also converts to a torch if he needs to o to the toilet and saves him turning on the lihts nd wakin everyone up.

We had the IKEA starry one - It is quite flimsy and is intended to fit on a specific IKEA bed. We managed to tape it on to our existing bed but it was never 100% secure.

Hmm - that's what I suspected. Ikea stuff, in my experience, tends to go with other Ikea stuff and not much else.

We got a huge length of camouflage material from the fabric shop.
DH used those big industrial staples to secure one side to the wall above (along the length) of his bed.
During the day it just hangs flat against the wall & tucks down the back of his bed, once he is in bed it comes accross the bed & down the outside & makes a little tent.

Its not weighted with anything other than multiple turnovers to ake a heavy hem & it seems to stay in place.

Actually this was for NT ds1 who just wanted to be in the army.

We have the same problem with bed thing for our 4yr old DD with ASD and have not yet found a solution but have had success with the window thing.

Our DD with ASD would be awake for hours and hours each evening watching all the lights on in houses opposite.

We tried: a blackout blind - fitting was promptly ripped down; a mesh travel stairgate on windowsill - climbed on top of this and balanced on top of it on tiptoe; a DIY MDF grille screwed into sides of window - lasted about 20 minutes before disassembly. We then gave up and decided from a safety POV that no barrier was best option. Until December when people put up flashing Christmas light displays in their front gardens opposite. Cue not falling asleep at all.

Then we found a blackout stick-on film for the window and have not looked back. Fabulously easy to stick on but next to impossible for DD to peel off. Can be removed whenever no longer needed. Not expensive (think about 25 quid for roll and have heaps left). Not even too ugly (we went for whiteout rather than blackout option IYSWIM). We love the stuff. DD goes to sleep much more quickly. Think only downside is that daylight is somewhat blocked out during day too but we just turn main light on if needed.

We bought from here www.abodewindowfilms.co.uk/acatalog/Whiteout_Opaque_Window_Film.html though am sure it's available from other similar sites.

that kura bed from ikea is reversible, so the bed bit can be at the bottom.

Could you (or someone) make a box like cover to go over it out of blackout lining? You could weight the bottom edges like curtains so they stay down.

Cerebra do a Sleep assessment service which may help? I haven't used the service but they've been very helpful with other matters, they seem like a very approachable charity.

"Our Sleep Service is available to provide assistance with a range of sleep issues for families. Some of examples are given below. We can give advice by telephone, post, home visits or email"