School soiling and wetting issue

[wasuup3000]

My sons skills in this area are deteriorating. He is just so not bothered doing it. He has started to do this at school. So I popped a note in about this to his class teacher just to say that he had wet and soiled. She wrote back to tell us that he hadn't told her he had done so...
He is being assessed for ASD and has SCD and couldn't give a monkeys if he is dry or not. Any tips on how to remind his teacher of this without sounding arsey and getting her back up. Hes getting more and more stressed about going to school lately, not wanting to get dressed, not wanting to leave me in the playground, asking that I come and get him at lunchtime and tell his teacher he has an appointment. Any advice welcome.

DS1 has started to soil at school and also frequently comes home with wet patches (he also wets the bed at night during school terms not the holidays). I definitely connect it to school being a stressful place -- we've had all the kinds of resistance you describe, and we're trying to get him a statement at the mo.

So the first thing I would say is, soiling etc is a symptom of the school not meeting his needs and if you are not at the moment maybe you should think of asking for statutory assessment.

How old is he? Ds1 is in yr 1 and other children are beginning to notice that he's sometimes not dry/clean (although they're not old enough to remember or care from day to day). We've given the school a set of clean clothes and babywipes to keep in the medical room so he can be taken there to change and clean up. We have also asked that he is reminded to use the toilet at regular intervals throughout the day (though goodness knows if this actually happens), and it's on the draft statement.

I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and Senco to discuss wetting/soiling at school because they should be regarding it both as important self-care and social issue for him but also as a H&S issue for the school.

Thanks-yes I definitely think it is due to the reasons you mentioned. He started doing it at home after school and this has progressed to school times. He is year 1. We are going to tribunal next Friday regarding refusal by the LEA to assess.
He has dyspraxia ABC 1st percentile, immediate verbal memory 2nd percentile, 4th percentile writing skills, 5th percentile for VMI, social communications difficulties, his IEPs keep repeating their targets-otherwise though he was reading at 2 and they regard him as fine academically although is only doing average despite having cognitive scores in the 99th percentiles and aside from that his writing is illegible despite input, special pencils ect.
I had to bribe him with sweets to get him out of the car this morning and into school, then he just clung tight to me before the bell went. Then I took him to his queuing spot.