How do you switch off?

[Al1son]

The school have agreed to request a statement for DD1 (12) which is great but are not willing to meet her needs in the meantime. Her file goes to the CASBAT team next Monday for Aspergers dx. She has refused to engage with CAMHS psych so has an appt with a different one next Monday and I'm worried she'll refuse to go.

The Ed Psych is seeing DD2 (7) in school next week. DD2 is already begging me not to send her back to school next week. She is on waiting list for CAMHS.

I'm spending every waking moment panicking that CASBAT won't give the dx, DD1 won't go to school next term again, Stat assessment will be refused, statement will be rubbish, DD1 won't go to CAMHS appt, DD2 will have all the same problems, CAMHS will think I am the problem,....

Friends advice - well if she doesn't go to school punish her.Ground her (which stops her doing what exactly?). Stop her going to the stables (the only place she is happy and relaxed because horses are her one and only interest). Just stop worrying(How????)

SO when you feel like it is all dominating your every thought do you have a way to switch off? How do you use those rare child-free moments? Basically how do you stop thinking about it? Or do you just get used to it being the only thing you think about?

some days are better than other tbh. I have friends that i talk to about SN bits and others who i rarelyt mention it too. I also play sport once a week to wind down.
HTH

"SO when you feel like it is all dominating your every thought do you have a way to switch off? How do you use those rare child-free moments? Basically how do you stop thinking about it? Or do you just get used to it being the only thing you think about?"

Oh Alison I know, I feel like it's buzzing around in my head the whole time. I have a job, a really good job, but for the last couple of years, all my creative intellectual life has gone into strategising about Ds2's issues, not into my business.

I do get relief from playing music in a group. But many of us on this board are not in a position to have any kind of hobby like this.

I made big progress recently, in that I've finally managed to explain some things to a wise quiet RL friend who isn't in the SN world - it was really hard for her to understand - it was like every concept was new to her - she had to listen really carefully! But that success gives me hope that I might be able to communicate the experience more widely in the future and not feel like I have this secret preoccupation all the time.

If only there was some formula to dictate exactly how much time we should spend thinking about it - but we never know if it's too little or too much.

DH doesn't know if he should ban me from mumsnet or encourage me to do an OU degree in child development!

I knit. When the kids are at school (which isn't a whole day for my 6 year old and I'm not sure it will be for a long time - also waiting for CAMHS to get their backsides in gear) I knit hard stuff that I have to concentrate on. I still lay awake, some nights, thinking too much, but at least I have hard evidence that I do something more relaxing with my time to look at.

just started sewing, creating something is quite satisfying, even if it's just a gogo bag for ds and gogo pillow case etc! also digging up the garden, which also tires me out and I feel less guilty about drinking wine.

Honestly?

I come on here and talk about meaningless stuff. Piss about.

I was doing a degree in Early Years til last term but now I'm wondering if they do one in Autism/Aspergers because that's all I seem to be able to read about!

I like the idea of making something. Probably not knitting though because I've tried that several times before and failed miserably.

As for talking to friends. Well I think I've given up. It is such hard work because everything requires such long rambling explanations. They all seem the have to get over the idea that they know all the answers before they can accept that there is no simple solution. It just doesn't seem worth the effort of going through that every time.

Going out to do something once a week would be lovely but can't rely on DH to be here and having other babysitters causes too much upset to be worth it.

I will find myself a new hobby. Something I can do and have an end product to show for it. Something I have to concentrate hard on but can pick up and put down easily.

Thanks for the ideas.

let us know how you get on .

It helps to have something where you have to report back to other people as well (ie I have to do practice so I can play in my group or I'll be letting the others down).

freecycle is also pretty extraordinary to get involved in if the PC is your only outlet.

'SO when you feel like it is all dominating your every thought do you have a way to switch off? How do you use those rare child-free moments? Basically how do you stop thinking about it? Or do you just get used to it being the only thing you think about?"'

This is my life - absolutely. If I wasn't becoming isolated for having a child with SN, I am doing for having nothing else to talk about except the latest outrageous behaviour of the EP. I can tell quite a good story so people have not fallen asleep - yet, but they will do.

i don't think i shut off, not really there is always something swirling round and round in my head about ds even when he's not around.
i do love to make cards, i go to classes when i can. i think you do need to try to have something for you, but its hard to keep up with anything.

I wish I was the sort of person who enjoys jogging! I really do need to get fitter (and lose weight) but I never seem to get the famous endorphin rush - I just fall into a chair shattered after exercise.

I will have Mondays free now because of giving up the degree. I will not fill it with more childminding so perhaps I should use part of that day to at least go walking. I know I'd be thinking about the usual as I went but at least it would be in pleasant surroundings. Anyone in mid-Worcestershire want to join me?

I'm glad it's not just me who had these thing permanently whizzing round their head. This is all quite new to me and friends keep telling me to stop worrying but I can't. Now at least I know I'm reasonably normal!!!

I find it hard to switch off, i do try and have sunday mornings to myself (i go to boot sales) but i'm constantly thinking and worrying about the dd's and what the future holds (its always on my mind).

We are going through the statementing process with dd2 (ASD) and have gone through the dx process with both dd's in the past year.

Dd2 has to see her pead tomorrow to see where she is on the spectrum and i am so worried that this will effect weather or not she gets a place at a SN school.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow Marne.

I've discovered the benefits of doing a jigsaw while watching television. Fills your brain up nicely.