7 year old DS with OCD

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I really need some advice from parents of children with OCD.
My DS, 7, has anxiety and OCD. The anxiety has thankfully been ok lately, but the OCD is constant and tiring.
DS's obsessions have been ensuring that all the kitchen cupboards / drawers are closed properly, DH making a slurping sounds when he drinks his tea, doing everything twice (such as walking downstairs, coming into rooms, getting into bed).
His latest obsession is DS2. DS2 breathes through his mouth and often sits with his mouth slightly open. DS1 is obessed with this. Even after the most lovely day out, we will collapse on the couch and it begins..."DS2 close your mouth, DS2 your mouth's open, DS2 you're annoying me, close you mouth...". And it goes on, and on. He just cannot stop himself.
I have tried removing him from the room. I have tried encouraging DS2 to sit further away from him. I have sometimes erected a cushion so that DS1 cannot see DS2, but he is so compelled to look that he begins to peer over.
What to do??? It is eating away at me.

Are you getting any help for it?

Waiting for a CAMHS referral. He has had various paed reports stating that he has anxiety and OCD, which have apparantly been triggered by DH being ill.
So no, I do not have any "official" help or strategies in place at the moment.

ds2 has OCD not sure if it differs as he also has other dx, but it is so exhaausting both for the sufferer & the family.
The only reassurance i can offer is that most compulsions do pass or are replaced by another.
They are hard to break but have had some uccess by completely changing routine so putting some space & time between ds2 & the opportunity to practice the behaviour. Very difficult in your case when it centres around his brother.
It got to the stage where it was taking ds2 15 mins to get down the hallway - touching the stairs & going back to touch them again, touching the skirting board & again & again, until eventually we would reach the front door.
So for four weeks we only used the back door, now he can go out the front door with just a quick sniff of the radiator.

No real help in your situation, just wanted to say that it WILL get better!

Agree with Pixie about being "firm" about it- dd has ocd, has had CBT and hypnotherapy and is SO much better- it's now manageable and not really obvious anymore.
Keep pushing for CAHMS referral and if the doctor you get isn't right- ask for another one.
We eventually went private- and it has only cost us £300 to get a completely different child!

Thanks so much for your replies.

Pixie, I totally agree with you when you say about not complying with his compulsions. I do tend to ignore the ones that I can, such as entering the room twice, but the obsession with his brother also crosses the fine line of bullying. DS is aware that it is hurting DS2's feelings as well as creating such an argument. I do remind him all the time that nothing bad will happen if he doesn't jump out of bed for the fiftieth time to check his sock drawer is closed!!

As for having a name for the OCD, I don't think DS is fully understanding his compulsions. He obviously feels a need to perform his rituals but he won't discuss why with me.

Anonandlikeit, yes I've noticed how his compulsions have changed and moved on. It is so difficult as DS2 is such a happy-go-lucky child, who is sunny and bright and care-free. It is hard when DS1 therefore starts to "pick" at him.

Deaddie, am so pleased for you getting a result from the Dr. I think our Dr has fogotten about our referral as it was months ago. I am loving the idea of having a different child, as I am feeling rather pushed to the limits with my lovely DS at the moment.

Believe me, I went through phases of hating my dd's behaviour so much- I even phoned NSPCC to ask for help!
I am going to start CBT myself next week, as this particular therapist has been so good.

Deaddei

Son takes medicication for OCD which dulls it but not totally. I was interested to read that you tried hypnotherapy. I've suggested that to DS.

Do you think it was effective on its own or was it only effective in combination with CBT etc.

I think in combination.
Talking to the therapist made dd feel relaxed/secure - we had 3 sessions of CBT with her, and 3 sessions of CBT/hypnotherapy.
Yesterday dd dozed off completely- and I dribbled a lot
I do think it's worth trying- after 3 years of hell (well it's been more like 12), I now have a relationship with dd and she is so happy.
OCD stopped her achieving at school, having friends, doing "normal" things- and I know it will always be with her, but at least it is now manageable and not apparent.

Thanks Deaddei - I think we may give that a go.

hi everyone,

wetaugust can i ask what medicine your son takes for his ocd, my dd is currently atending camhs, she was query aspergers but they are treating her for ocd at the moment as her rituals are running her life along with high anxiety. they put her on lustral - 25mg for 1 week, then upped to 50 mg. however she has started to have a few side effects and we are lowering it again to 25mg.

thanks for reading

Hi Bev
He's taking Fluvozamine 200mg (adult dose).

I was told that sometimes you have to try a few alternatives before you hit on the right one. Risperdal was useless.

Best wishes

can't spell - sorry Should be FLUVOXAMINE

wetaugust,

thanks for replying. my dd is only 11 and has only been on it for 2 weeks, but this morning she said she didnt want to be here anymore and that life would be easier without her. it breaks my heart to see her like this, she cries every morning going to school and everything pointed to aspergers, then the EP seen her, and said that she can cope in school so its not AS.i know that she just puts an act on in school and that is why she is so hard work when she comes home again. she has no idea of how friendships work, and does not want to socialise at all. we attend camhs and because her rituals have started to take over that is why they put her on lustral. i was reading another thread where your son was in residential and this has also been mentioned to me- however i think that that would totally put our dd over the edge iykwim. if you have any advice i would be really grateful or any words of wisdom

thanks again
bev

Hi Bev

The Ed Pysch is talking utter rubbish. Many children with AS can 'act' their way through the school day - it's a hidden disability and unless you know what you're looking for it is not easily spotted. A crass remark like that Ed Pysch made is frankly ridiculous. Luckily Ed Pyschs are not competent to issue formal dx's - for that you need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist such as are employed by CAMHS.

We were told that heightened anxiety frequently accompanies AS. It's all part of the uncertainty and lack of understanding of social siyuations caused by the cognitive deficits and lack of social and communication skills. If you worked on proactively teaching those skills the OCD should dimish as confidence in dealing with situations then increases.

Does she have a Statement? Who is suggesting residential - Ed Pysch or CAMHS?. If residential is being suggested then she certainly merits a Statement. Is she getting sufficient support at school?

I would be pressing CAMHS for a formal assessment of AS.
Best wishes

wetaugust, unfortunately because the EP said that, then dd doesnt get a DX of AS. we are in northern ireland and things work differently here. the residential that camhs want to refer dd too is like a diagnostic center i think where she would live in and be observed 24.7. i honestly dont think that dd could do it nor could we as a family. school are useless, i went in this morning, to let her teacher know that she was now on lustral and also what she had said this morning, her reply was that she is fine here!! i was like a jibbering mess and that was her answer, she prob thinks i need psy care!! dd does not have a statement, she is very clever and is very able in her school work, ordinary life however is a totally different matter. dd never wants to see friends, is just happy to be on her pc or throwing a ball against the wall, this goes on constantly, more so when she is stressed. she hates any kind of touch and will not give hugs or kisses to anyone.

dd was always different iykwim, but it has become more apparent in the last year or more, mostly coming out in not wanting to go to school and not wanting to see friends.

it honestly feels like you are banging your head against a wall, and the more that you shout and question, the more that you are labelled as an over anxious mum.

Sorry Bev - I know nothing about how the system works in NI. I still think the Ed Pysch is totaly wrong.

If you read Tony Atwood's book on Aspergers he actually decsribes teh situation where a child can 'act' their way through the school day and explode with pent up frustration etc when they get home.

I would consider the diagnostic centre though. It will be hard for her in later life without a formal dx. It may be stressful while it's happening but having a formal dx is the best way of getting school etc to take this seriously. Could you ask for her to attend as a day patient instead of 24/7. You can only ask and see what the response is.

Best wishes