Have any of you got more than 2 dc's on the spectrum?

[Marne]

Dh and i (mainly me) keep talking about having another child but i am worried about the chances of a 3rd child having ASD, dd1 has AS and dd2 ASD, we have been told there is a 60% chance that the 3rd would have ASD.

Have any of you got 2+ dc's on the spectrum?

Also has anyone had 2 on the spectrum and then had a NT child?

I worry about bringing another child with ASD into the world when it could have a more severe ASD then the dd's (dd2 is quite high functioning).

I have 2 with autism not HFA/AS,1 with dyspraxia and 2 NT and mathematically gifted which according to paed is part of the spectrum too.
It's my first with dyspraxia and the two youngest with autism. Would imagine a sixth is pretty much guaranteed to be on the spectrum somewhere (occasionally feel tempted funnily enough).

Its so hard isn't it? the spectrum is so huge, the 3 rd child could be very high functioning (like dd1) or it could be severely Autistic and need 24 hour care for the rest of its life.

If i knew it would be HFA of AS like the dd's then i would risk it but i don't know how i would cope with a severely autistic child as well as the dd's. Then again there is a risk with any pregnancy that the child may have SN's.

Dd1 is also being assessed for dyspraxia.

I can see autistic traits in many of our family members (dh's side and mine), dh's auntie had a dd with ASD but other than that no one else has been diagnosed in the family.

I have always wanted a big family but i feel a bit selfish by thinking of having another.

Obviously I had three without autism when ds came along.They were aged 6,5 and nearly 2 and the dyspraxia hadn't been recognised.
Suffice to say ds was a nightmare, moderate autism, LD and extreme challenging behaviour. Paed told us at three he won't be independent and so my plans for six children quickly disappeared.
Dd was very much unplanned (meant to be I think) and arrived just after ds's 8th birthday.
She was diagnosed as moderate to severe autism at just two.
She has been an absolute blessing in so many ways. Ds has benefited greatly from having a younger sibling, he learnt to be patient and tolerant and gentle because of her.
I put in place an early intervention programme and dd has made rapid progress and it restored my confidence as a parent.
Having a child who was totally self absorbed and couldn't be directed and prone to aggression and meltdowns did make me feel helpless.
Just knowing that I could make a difference boosted me so much and ds benefited from having a mum who was confident in her methods and he learnt too.
Nowadays life is settled and I get the craving for that sixth child whether or not it's to be I think I'll let nature decide.

Incidentally there are no autistic traits or diagnoses on either side of our family. I have five siblings and each of their 11 children are fine.
Dh has 1 sister who has 1 son who has dyspraxia probably as a result of a difficult birth tbh.
Our lot have bucked the trend tbh and paed recommends genetic counselling if or when they choose to start a family.
Obviously that option extends to me too but tbh it would only give a likelihood and wouldn't alter my decision either way.

Out of the four children in our family 3 of them are severely Autistic only one is moderate and even she is very hard work.

I would say take a while weighing up all your options and how/if you would cope with a severely Autistic child, it's not a decision that can be taken lightly

Swiss- it's something we have been talking about on and off for a while (since dd2 was born), dd1 was not diagnosed until after dd2 was born although we knew something was wrong, we had no idea that there was a higher chance of dd2 being on the spectrum.

asdx2- dd's pead mentioned genetic counselling but dh wasn't keen on the idea.

I would love to be able to look into adoption but from what i have read on here its hard (almost impossable) to adopt if you have SN children .

Ds had meltdowns from 8 months, these were different and seperate to the constant screaming he did from birth.
Even the GP commented that he had the terrible twos early.
I found ds soul destroying tbh, he slept 4 hours in 24 and still does or even less sometimes.
I couldn't do a thing with him and he only really improved once he had enough speech at seven.
Now at 15 he is adoreable and my pride and joy, he speaks normally, he is no longer aggressive or destructive and the challenging behaviour has gone even though at three it was felt that he would never have normal speech and the behaviour wasn't likely to improve a great deal.
Had I known it could be different I would have felt less desperate when he was small tbh.

Ds has never been diagnosed as hyperactive although when he was younger he used to make the ADHD boy in his class look positively docile.Nowadays although he doesn't like to sleep (or eat, or talk) he has a pretty good attention span when he chooses.He is still active though skipping or running the landing til the early hours of the morning is a daily occurrence.

Yes ds and dd never really get many illnesses either. It's somewhat miraculous for ds considering he only eats chicken and matchmakers and has done for years as well.
Dd got her first snuffle at 18 months and has had one tummy bug in seven years even though they are rife at school sometimes.

Leonie my dd had awful screaming fits from about 4 months, it was awful, she still has them aged 11 and at times I don't like her (behaviour) very much.