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Original poster

Really really p'd off. Have to give up MA. Bloody stupid autism

41 replies

Clarissimo · 29/03/2010 22:33

Dh has to be in Uni same time next year

there is nobody to help, no childcare can touch ds1, SSd told us that

That's it then, the only adult I will talk to from one month to the next is DH. Seriously, it's the last thing to give up. Everything else went

What's the bloody point any more? Even dh isjust sat watching tv annoyed at me for crying. I give up. Autism won.

OP posts:
lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 29/03/2010 22:37

dont give up, its just a bad day/week.
You just have to find new things to do, maybe evenings? On a sunday evening i pack the girls off to bed, leave dh the tv and go and wack the hell out of a shuttle cock, works for me
Hope your ok, and sending some unMN hugs your way and a glass of wine too

lou031205 · 29/03/2010 22:41

Can you go distance learning via OU? And what do SS mean that there is no childcare that can touch DS1? Of course there is, they need to find it!

Original poster
Clarissimo · 29/03/2010 22:41

Dh's uni runs 9 - 7 most days next year, hours commute either way. I dont even know any people here after 5 years ad the only hobby I did I shared with dh and ds3 can't do so I agrreed to let dh do instead

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2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny · 29/03/2010 22:46

oh I am sorry to hear that, I know it means so much to you.

lou031205 · 29/03/2010 22:48

Can you defer for a year?

DelsParadiseWife · 29/03/2010 22:52

Clarissimo When will you have to give up? I mean what is the last day you can do and how far from the end of the course will that be?

Have the biggest tantrum here and in RL, but don't give up yet. Solutions do appear in the strangest places.

Original poster
Clarissimo · 29/03/2010 22:54

I have finished this year all but essay

But rthis looks like v2 years and I suspect they won't count the dx module then as will be post DSm-V and all changed.

Shame though, too bloody lonely as it is

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sugarcandymountain · 29/03/2010 23:02

Please don't give up. I stopped my degree after the first year to deal with DS. I said to the university that I was suspending the course for a year but have now taken yet another year out. I do have the option of returning though, even after two years break. Please speak to the uni and ask them what your options are. In my experience, tutors are very sympathetic and the universities will do all they can to support you as the drop-out rates look bad for them. Also speak to student services to see if they can offer additional financial help - it may cover the cost of specialist childcare.

The NAS has a list of post grad courses on their website, some are by distance learning so that may be another option. I know MAs tend to be quite specialist so your previous study is unlikely to carry over.

DelsParadiseWife · 29/03/2010 23:05

If a university running a specialist course in autism, has no sympathy with your situation then god help us all.......

magso · 30/03/2010 00:02

Oh peachy! Its awful when you feel that nothing of the essential you is left! Dont blame you for crying ( hands over tissues and cuppa) Hold it right there though. That course is important to you. Can you defer until your dh finished? Or can the uni help? If SS cannot help can they help with DPs so you can organise afterschool care?

madwomanintheattic · 30/03/2010 00:16

how many others are on your course? (i'm guessing it's quite small.) ask the uni for timetabling change.

you can but ask.

and ss should (as you know ) be providing 2-1 if they have no 1-1 carers that can cope. local paper? i know it's not great having your life trawled over in the press, but often a 'woe is me' when a government department have been spectacularly useless can yield results.

but don't think about it now. spend 2 days having a monumental rant, and then get on with working it out. it will be ok. go to everyone you can think of at collge - counselling service, student welfare, personal tutor, head of department, and ask for help everywhere.

someting will come up. and if you aren't happy with the solution, defer for one year and try again.

it's just gutting. but it'll be ok.

sarah293 · 30/03/2010 08:29

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niminypiminy · 30/03/2010 10:23

In my day job I run an MA course. If I had a student in your position I would be telling them that they had an automatic right to defer for two years, and also saying that under certain circumstances (yours would be the kind of thing I would be thinking of) I could apply for a suspension of regulations so that you could defer for longer if need be. I would also be talking about other ways we could support you so that you could continue with your course. Our student union and disability officer would certainly want to hear about and help with sorting out your childcare problems. It may well be that your Uni has similar provisions (at my place this is standard but then we specialise in part-time adult students), and it would certainly be worth talking to them about it. Even if things have changed in the world of autism they should still be able to make it possible for you to finish. Apart from anything else if you withdraw from the course now there will be financial penalties for your department so they should have a vested interest in helping you finish!

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. I'm sure there will be some way it can be worked out -- I really hope so.

bramblebooks · 30/03/2010 10:41

I'm sorry this is the situation. As the wise ladies say, don't give up, this is worth fighting for. Talk to your uni and don't put up with a less than helpful answer.
I'm currently on an OU course for a 2nd MEd, and it fits in around my family, including ds2 who has medical needs.
Hoping for good news from you soon. I really think that things that are hard fought are most worthwhile.

justaboutkeepingawake · 30/03/2010 11:39

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amberlight · 30/03/2010 11:53

Can only agree that they should allow you to defer if you need to.
Arrghh. Have another virtual cuppa and box of tissues.

siblingrivalry · 30/03/2010 12:00

I'm so sorry, I have read your posts and have seen how important this is to you.

I don't know if it helps even a tiny bit, but I also sometimes hate autism so much I want to stand in the middle of the street and just scream.

I wish I knew the answer for you, I'm sorry x

TotalChaos · 30/03/2010 12:59

nightmare. hope uni are cooperative, at very least should allow you to defer.

LauraIngallsWilder · 30/03/2010 13:02

Im really sorry to read about this - I guessed it was you from your title

coppertop · 30/03/2010 13:58

I so hoped this wouldn't be you.

I hope something can be done to let you continue, whether now or in the near future.

ouryve · 30/03/2010 15:38

Dammit, Peachy. I hope they allow you to defer or can help you find a way to complete the course part time.

HelensMelons · 30/03/2010 16:58

God peachy, that's unbelievably shit.

Can you re-visit this with SS - would GP support you in terms of your own health and wellbeing with SS?

Is there anyone you know could offer you childcare for the day(?) so that you can get out?

This is a real lifeline so I hope that you can get some resolution. Fingers crossed x

Original poster
Clarissimo · 30/03/2010 18:40

Thanks

Am gusaranteed a deferral as we have a set amount of time to do it in, just it looks as if the next 2 years are out. But Dh is going to approach his Uni as timetables not concrete yet- tbh Glamorgan is the elast adult friendly Uni I ever encountered but worth a shot I guess.

I will defer. I was tempted to just say shove it but there's no point is there? I got highest grade on my course last essay so they will wait.

beleive it or not its quite a big course and I think they run all the EN ones over two nights (there's a wide SENone, dyslexia, hearing loss, VI, CAMHs, SLd and us so laods to fit in)

Sorry i didnt come back lpast night was a bit too upset. Does feel tehre's nothing left at all. Worst of all is the realissatin that if I had left school at 15 and never done anything else ever agin or made an ounce of effort I would be in exactly this palce now- 21 years of wasted slog basically.

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DelsParadiseWife · 30/03/2010 18:48

'Worst of all is the realissatin that if I had left school at 15 and never done anything else ever agin or made an ounce of effort I would be in exactly this palce now- 21 years of wasted slog basically.'

Now that is just rubbish. Those years have made you who you are and given you a brain that serves your family and children well.

Don't be defeated, - not you. You're a valuable member of the world, the SN world and the MN world and probably a good number of others. I'm not surprised for one minute that you are doing well on your course, even though I know you don't find it a breeze.

You'll just find an alternative path through it all. Wait and see!

Original poster
Clarissimo · 30/03/2010 18:56

Dels i;d be on benefits living in a rented house worrying about whetehr I might get a job in Asda one day as it fits aorund the school terms if you arelucky.

Same as now.

I'll pick up in a few days I know, but this one stung.

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