Childish sob (sorry)

[MinnieMalone]

Just need to have a tiny tear or two before I put my armour back on to fight another day

DS (5 yrs old, possible Asperger's, definite and quite severe problems around social interaction/communication) now has a school-home record book in which the teacher writes down hwo the day went.

Read through today's lengthy entry and saw it was full of DS being silly, arsing around, hitting other children and spoiling their games, with the teacher and TA basically running around after him trying to limit the damage he was causing .

Spoke to DS about some of the incidents after school to try to work out how he was feeling, what led up to each incident etc. He told me 'nobody likes me', 'nobody wants to play with me' and that nobody lets him join in their games unless the teacher asks for him.

I don't know if this is 100% true or just his perception, but either way, it is pretty heartbreaking. DS desperately wants friends, but is very socially naive and because of his controlling, dictatorial style of play and tendency to lash out when upset, he drives people away.

I will get perspective on all of this in the light of day, I know, but it is very sad to know that my 5 yr old feels lonely and rejected - and at such a young age.

Awww, Minnie, that's so sad. I'm sorry for your lovely little boy and for you. I know how it feels to be told by your child that no-body likes or plays with them - it's heart wrenching and you want to pick them up and run a million miles away. In time, I understand that some kids with ASD's mature and adopt strategies to help manage their 'anti-social' behaviour. That's where a formal diagnosis would help him and you so much. I assume you are amidst that process now ??

Oh, that's heartbreaking. Poor little mite.

Can you write back to the school saying that you'd like a meeting with them in a week to discuss strategies. Can you send in with them a few choice documents from the NAS, such as circle of friends and buddying (where popular, carefully chosen children are picked for 'special' training on Social difficulties and how to engage people who have them etc.)?

Thanks MadameSin. Nice to know I'm not just wittering into the ether

We have just requested statutory assessment (fingers crossed) and for the first time there is going to be a meeting of all the professionals involved in supporting DS (psychotherapist, SALT, OT, Paed and the SENCO), which is something, I suppose.

I have a meeting at CAMHS on Thursday and am going to beg them ask for clarification on how we can get a diagnosis / who will give it to us. So far Asperger's has been raised as a 'possibility' by all the professionals, but still no diagnosis.

Very frustrating

He is a lovely little boy in his home environment and/or with familiar, 1:1 support, but put him in a classroom or playground and he cannot cope and becomes a nightmare, really.

DelsParadise - thanks for ideas. Great stuff. Have only just started looking at the NAS website, so hadn't realised what a great resource it is.

Will investigate further.

Can you ask for a working diagnosis? This is sometimes possible when it is obvious but waiting lists are long.