Can I have a moan :(

[lou031205]

DD1 (almost 4.4) is getting harder and harder to get out of preschool.

Today I used wrist-straps for both her and DD2 (2.7) as it was preschool day for them both. DD1 saw daffodils and wanted to 'mell' them. Every one of them was sniffed. But then she refused to walk to the car. Point blank.

I was stranded between the preschool (around a corner out of sight) and the car. Another Mum saw me, and helped walk DD1 to the car. She went in to preschool to collect her DS.

I put DD2 in the car, then tried to put DD1 in. She was impossible. Writhing, straining, etc. Everytime I got one arm in a strap, she got the other one out. She kept straightening out so I couldn't do her up. The other Mum had gone into preschool, out of preschool and strapped her DS in the car and I still hadn't managed to get DD1 in.

She came over and distracted DD1 by making a fuss of DD2, and I finally got my chance to do her buckle. I felt so tired, and low, that I said "Well that's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back." She replied "I am sure you've wasted 10 minutes of your life on other stuff before!"

I am fed up of it all. It is getting harder. Wheelchair services can't tell me when the Mac Major will be allocated. We've been waiting almost 5 months already. Next step is having to ask preschool to accompany DD1 to the car each time.

Oh Lou, that sounds rubbish. Can SS help/chase? Can the school if you start making demands of them? What about if you kept her off school saying that it was currently inaccessible (if you do it today then you'll have 2 weeks of Easter, but it will look like 3 weeks off)?

Can you at least send a letter to Wheelchair services asking them when it will be ready?

SS deem DD1 to be not disabled enough for their assistance (In receipt of HR Care DLA; Blue Badge holder; 1:1 care preschool; special school in Sept)

Preschool have said that I can get help if necessary, so it will have to be that. I just feel useless - can't even get her to the car safely.

Wheelchair services get new budget next week, so fingers crossed.

Hmmm, I'm wary of going down the SS route, but if your child is being neglected from achieving her 5 blary outcomes because you as a parent aren't coping then they are supposed to parachute in to support YOU, where you say all you need is a wheelchair............

Sorry I can't be much use. I'll keep my fingers crossed though.

Thanks, DPW. To be honest, I wrote off SS when they described DD1 (who was sprinkling sand into her 9 week old sister's face during our assessment) as "an active child who enjoys adult company."

Having said that, the LD team are saying that we should ask for another assessment once she starts Special School, because it 'ticks a box' and might flag better for respite

Grrrrrrr

and that's about all I can say about that.

sorry you had such a shitty time doing the pre-school run, afraid I always resort to bribery for this sort of situation, as DS is very amenable to sweets and chocolates, not exactly the "right" answer mind you.

GRRR but sadly that's probably bang on re:being at special school making them take your request for respite more seriously

oh lou, i'm so sorry you had a bad/ stressfull time.
Not the same situation i know but i find it very frustrating when ds refuses to move and like totalchaos i often resort to bribery.

i wish i had some good advice for you after all the help you have given me, but alas i do not.

What on earth ???!!!

What part of the country are you in ??

I ask this because:-

When I needed nappies, I got asked how many and was alloated that amount.

When I asked for a mac major when ds was 3 it arrived 2 weeks later.

When he outgrew that and I asked for a wheelchair, he was measured up within 3 weeks and it arrived soon after.

Grants are given very quickly and are almost always succesful.

I'm really shocked by some of the threads on here, honestly didnt realise how hard some people have to fight for the basics.

Lou, I have a Mac Major you could borrow until you get yours if you want. You'll just need to pay for the courier there and back, which would be roughly £10 each way.

Its really tough when they won't move. DS2 sometimes just sits down and refuses to budge. Hard going when I have DS3 in his prm and DS1 there as well.

SwissCheeseisHolyCheeseus (love that name) we are in Hants. Is your DS mobile? I suspect it is the fact that DD1 can walk (although mobility nowhere near her peers) that means she slides down the priority scale.

5inthebed, that is so kind . Really can't thank you enough. If it is OK, I will give my Wheelchair services people a few weeks to sort their 2010 budget out first & work out whether DD1 will be given one, because I have a feeling that if I am seen with a Mac Major, they may decide that I no longer need one IYSWIM

No problem, just give me a shout out if you need it.

Yep, Ds is perfectly mobile, all the help we have recieved was purely down to his behaviour, it's help everybody should be getting imo.

And glad you like the name, mumsnetters chose it.