how do you teach a hyperactive child to control herself????

[joburg]

DD (almost 7 yo) is hyperactive. We got a possible ADHD diagnosis but right now, due to family reasons we can't go on with further investigations for a while, so no ADHD medication or official diagnosis yet (she does take fish oil daily, for now).

But there is no single day DD would not bang her head, jump into a closing door and get her toes smashed, run around the house and hit herself or us, jump on the couch and fall flat and get hurt ... not to mention breaking, dropping, smashing things. How can i help her understand she needs to take it slower? With 3-4 incidents every day, just hugs and kisses don't seem to help. Telling her to take it slowly doesn't seem to mean anything to her; she just can't control herself.

What do i do? For DD's sake but also for our sake also .... i'm loosing my mind just trying to keep her calm ... please help.

HI Joburg

I'm not sure that you can tbh. Can you access medication without a dx? Could GP help with this? Could a referral to Occupational Therapy help in terms of structure within the home (different grades of sandpaper on the floor for her to rub her feet on whilst at dinner table, things like that). I have found this a very beneficial service.

It is hard when they are 100 miles an hour all the time. DS2 hurts himself, breaks things etc, the medication really does help to slow him down.

Sorry, I have waffled on and haven't really been much help but if you pretended to be your dd and walked around the house and saw things from her perspective would there be anything that you would change/add in/take away/lower/higher/put signs on if visually stimulated? (and I don't mean that in a judgemental way - just practical!) x

Oh, just wanted to ad one more thing. DD seems to be able to focus if she needs to sit down and do something she is keen on. School seems to be ok with her focusing skills, but they do mention the hyperactivity; her running instead of walking, flapping arms, screaming instead of talking when she gets excited, etc ..

HelensMelons, thanks for your help. It's been 5 minutes ago we ended a 'show' with me being DD and smashing things around, jumping and running, etc we did that before .... role playing .... but it never really helped regarding the hyperactivity. that made me think it's not just a behavioural thing but more. are there any herbal remedies anybody used? i don't know what else to think of right now .... i don't dare to put DD on ADHD medication just by myself. I've been reading a lot about ADHD even before the possible diagnosis ..... noup, i can't do that.

I'd agree with asking for OT input. Without medication, I don't think you can remove the need for stimulation, which is what all the haring around is trying to alleviate. The question is whether you can provide alternate stimulation which she can get while sitting still. There are often waiting lists for OT, so you might not get a quick result. On the other hand, you would probably have the same wait after diagnosis, so nothing to lose by getting a place in the queue now.

I'm afraid the selective focus is a bit of an ADHD "thing" and you can't really generalise it - it doesn't follow she can learn to bring the same concentration to less interesting things. The ADHD brain just doesn't "switch on" for boring things, that's a large part of the problem.

r3dh3d, thank you for the 'bit of an ADHD "thing"', i tend to think you might be right, despite of all the things i learned from the books. It might still be ADHd but right now we can't go dx-ing it. We are not in Europe. DD had a year or so of OT but that didn't help much either regarding her hyperactivity. I understand that 1 year might not be enough, but again, we had to stop it for now for the reason i mentioned above I just need to think of something else for the time.

Location must make this very difficult, my sympathies.

I guess one thing is have you anything which will help her let off steam? Physical games, a wii or something? A martial arts class, something she can practice at home without slamming into the walls, of course! Some kids I think do well with portable "fidget" toys. Chewy pen tops, that sort of thing. The idea being that she is able to sit still because the stim is coming from playing with the toy. There are loads on ebay etc. Mind you, doesn't work at all for some kids.

Physical toys that don't get boring/frustrating because you have to work with them for ages to get anywhere are good - lego or similar creative/construction type things. Mind you, I expect she is messy already...

DD wakes up at 6:30, rushes to school, comes back after 3. I try to keep her busy with loads of things until 5. We wash dishes, prepare for next school day, shoeshine shoes, take the garbage out, play games, talk, go shopping, cook together, wash clothes even (don't know what other physical activieties to invent sometimes), do homeworks, sing, dance, etc etc, all these in one hour and a half .... Then 1,5-2 hours playground. Running, footbal, whatever. Then it's dinner, then cartoons for half an hour, then going to bed. Not much time for her to get bored. So basically from 6:30 till 8-8:30 she is on the run, busy, occupied, and still i can hardly have her spend 10-15 min in her room (to rest! and let me talk in peace to my DH at the end of the day) during a full 14 hours day. She comes and goes, and it's mami, mami every 5 minutes .... is this normal hyperactivity .... or is it hyper-hyper???

My son has ADHD - he is 7 years old. I know you would have done all the research I have over the past 18 months, so I won't bark on about the obvious. All I can say is, I drastically changed his diet to eliminate all preservatives and additives. No squashes with Sweetners eg: Aspartum - that stuff is EVIL! (It was pretty simply actually). He also has fish oil and zinc supplements and is not on medication. I have looked into the London Homeopathic hospital in Great Ormond St (not a great help to you though) and they treat ADHD kids with alternative remedies. Don't go near the internet for ADHD medication of any kind. It's a dangerous place ! Only ever go through your doctor or registered homeopath - don't mean to sound patronising, but many people do out of desperation. The diet has helped him 100%. His school cannot believe the different child they now have in their class room. These kids want to learn and they want to 'be good', they just find it really hard. Maturing is also helping him understand his own actions and I can talk to him more about what is acceptable and appropriate. Good luck !

Thank you MadameSin, I would never start medication on DD on my own and don't worry for the advice, i can imagine some ppl might actually consider it .... not me though.

Now after your post, smth starts to bother me. DD has never had what some call it a normal diet (i see what DD's colleagues in school get for the lunch boxes and i get scared ), meaning she never gets sweets, poor kid, (maybe once in 2-3 weeks she can get an icecream), eats loads of veggies and she is an angel, never had problems with her .... we try to keep the mcdonalds type of junk food to minimum, and still her hyperactivity is as i described it before. You on the other hand tell me that the diet seems to help your son ..... so i was thinking, can it actually be something else that makes DD hyper? I mean, what if it's not ADHD, can it be something else? I did tried to goolge it but couldn't find much.

Does hyperactivity in the way i described it points JUST to ADHD and nothing else?

You can have ADHD with impulsivity ie: they are fairly impulsive - not thinking about consequences. My son plays with lots of sound loud affects, has difficulty reading social signals with peers cos he's usually steam rolling ahead without thinking things through. He also finds concentrating for period longer than about 10-15 minutes in class hard and has a lego box he can go to when he fancies a break. He also finds it tricky to sit still without fiddling with t-shirt, shoe strap, someone else's hair I have put these very simply and in general terms, obviously there's a bit more to it. There are so many things that can make a child hyper ... food allergy for one, reaction to certain vitamins, dairy or wheat. It would be difficult to find out, but worth discussing with your doctor as tests can be fairly straight forward for obvious food allergies. Sorry, I didn't get where in the world you are currently living? There is a criteria to diagnose ADHD and I had 5 different professional in their field involved with my son

Hi. My ds is 14yrs, and has severe ADHD. He was dx when he was 4.5yrs. I also help to run a support grp.
There are many theories regarding ADHD treatments, but the SIGN Guidelines that were updated in OCT. 09, showed that behaviour therapy and medication worked best consistently for dc with moderate to severe ADHD.
Fish Oils have not been proven to help with hyperactivity-perhaps with concentration.
ADHD- the HYPERACTIVE part-is NOT caused by diet. For sure, if the dc is already hyperactive, then highly coloured foods/fizzy drinks, can exacerbatethe hyperactivity,but diet alone, does NOT cause ADHD.
As you said yourself, your dd has a diet that does not really include additives/junk, yet she is still really hyperactive.
ADHD is a neuro-developmental disorder-the parts of the brain that control activity and impulse control are adversely affected.
So, though you are doing the right things, as in keeping her busy and plenty running around, if she has ADHD,you cannot really slow her down, no matter how many scenarios you do,or how many reminders. Part of the condition also, is not making connection between action and consequence,that is why behavious are repeated again and again.
SIGN GUIDELINES also showed that there is very little scientific evidence that herbal/homeopathic remedies have much if any impact on ADHD. Please do not part with any money in the hope of finding a cure. ADHD is a life-long condition, that dc and young people learn to manage and live with, and often the hyperactivity and impulsivity lessen with maturity.
I dont know where you live, but ADHD is well recognised in most countries now, and a good paediatrician would be a starting point.
From your description of your dd, it does sound as though ADHD medication would be suitable and useful.
ADDISS is the National Advice and Information charity on ADHD in Britain and is located in London.You can google them. They have a wealth of knowledge and information and a good reading list. They will be able to advise you further. Good Luck!

Thank you both of you for your replies. One more question though (now that the spring holiday is coming) .... is there any medication for the parents of hyperactive kids as i will surely need it for the next two weeks (only half joking)

Our problem right now is not our location but the fact that we don't have a suitable insurance here for this kind of problems and we can't really afford to pay in full for all the assessments/therapy. We did already 4 assesments and they were just confusing and contradictory and hell expensive, plus therapy ..... so right now we just have to wait for better times ....