DS was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD today.....am shell-shocked.

[JollyPirate]

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Title says it all really - just shell-shocked. It's not that the diagnosis is a huge huge surprise (although I wasn't expecting a diagnosis today) I am pleased that I have not had to wait months and months for it. DS is 7 so diagnosis is late - the paed was lovely to me but it's still a bit of a shock. The SNAP people will ring me and arrange an appointment to visit their centre in the next frew weeks so they can show me what support is available. DS is lovely and it breaks my heart to think that he is struggling and may continue to struggle.
Collecting him from school in an hour.

Do I share the diagnosis with him? What do I say? Am sure there must be good books to use with him.

It is normal to feel shellshocked even if you were expecting it. I needed quite a few weeks to come to terms with the diagnosis, read around, modify my understanding, expectations and discipline etc. I also was taken by surprise by how angry I felt with the system (ds was also7 before he got a full dx of ASD/ADHD/LD the autism had been missed and scoffed at by professionals).
I did not tell my son directly(he has LD also), but do make comments like friend x finds sharing/waiting/thinking ahead difficult like you to ds.
Sending a virtual cuppa! (and a quick hug)

Thank you so much - am off to collect my lovely DS shortly. An extra big hug for him tonight.

Sending you a virtual hug JP - it is a huge shock and takes a while to come to terms with. We got dx of hfa when ds2 was 6 and adhd last august. He knows he has both and we told all the dc's a few months after asd dx and it's just part and parcel of our family life.

Even though it was obvious that DS1 would get the diagnosis he received, I was still floored by it. I think it's quite normal.

DS1 is 6 now and we do talk about his condition with him, but it doesn't really seem to sink it. He is very aware of being different and being treated differently, though.

Thanks Milady - do you live in Laindon? . I have moved (council have housed me) to Craylands which is amazingly very quiet. Thanks for the email address - I will e-mail you. School have been fantastic.

On the edge of Laindon, JP

That's all good news. No rush to email, your head is probably still spinning but I'm always up for a chat!

glad you found the sn forum

There's usually someone around, even at stupid o'clock.

Awake since 5am - head is spinning. Feeling guilty for all the times I may have been impatient with DS when perhaps he just did not understand .

Am sure it will get easier - just need to get my head round it all.

Work today (I think most regulars know I am a HV) and have 5 babies coming in for their under 1 year check. Babies at 10-12 months are real mood lifters and it's lovely chatting to the Mums. I finish at 2pm today and then the weekend begins.

Aww

So pleased to hear that your DS now has the Dx to help you and others help and support him . Things will get easier honestly!! be kind to yourself .

I would tell your DS as soon as you have had time to get your head around things. This is the point we are at with DD1 at the moment (also 7) so far we have explained (in laymans terms) that she has a special brain, as do lots of other people (thankfully 4 other DC in her class have an ASD and various other SNs) and thats way a,b and c are often very difficult for her but its also way x,y and z (mainly remembering facts) are much easier for her than others. So far she has dealt with this amazingly!! and i feel that it has helped her deal with really bad patch at school. Over the easter hols i plan on explaining how the name for her special brain is Aspergers.......!!

Hope the babies have given you a pleasent distraction today .

Hi Jollypirate,

I am another Essex bod who knows Basildon and the surrounding areas well.

Amazon have many good publications on ASD, do look there.

Am glad too you have heard from SNAP.

Do let us know if you go up against the powers that be at The Knares (aka Basildon LEA) with regards to obtaining a Statement. I would seriously consider obtaining such a document now for the longer term for your son.

Thanks Attila - yes have been in conversation with with the powers that be at The Knares for some time. Now there is a diagnosis I am hoping that they will look a bit more keenly at DS. Am planning a visit on my day off next week.

And 3cutedarlings - the babies were gorgeous today. Love them at 10-12 months - they come in all solomn because they don't know this strange HV woman and by the end of the check are usually chuckling and engaging - just fab. Had a lovely mornng at work