anyone else had a "why?" phase from their language-delayed child?

[lingle]

DS2 (4.7, receptive language delay and ASD traits) has been saying "but why?" in response to lots and lots of things over the past week. It's like he's discovered the power of that word all of a sudden.

The SALT said his language is basically delayed rather than disordered and he has just started to be able to use because-like constructions (he uses "so" to mean "because") and to answer some basic "why?" questions of mine ("why are you sad?" "so DS1 pushed me"). And loads of bits of his language are now like those of a typical 3-year-old, so far as I can glean from the David Crystal "Listen to your child" book. So I don't know why I'm so astonished (why?)

I think it must be real because it is becoming quite irritating and I'm responding with all the phrases I heard all the NT mothers years and years ago ("because it's tidy up time", "because it's not ready yet" "because it just is").

I guess I had assumed we would miss this phase out altogether. DS1 never had it.

just wondering if anyone SALTish is around.....
It's as if some NT little girl aged 2 or 3 had turned up in my kitchen - and quite bizarre.

Nope, but DS1 gives me a lot of "what does xyz mean?" or "what does colour a and colour b make?" and drives me up the wall with it, sometimes. He finds it a useful delay tactic and I often have to very bluntly tell him no more questions until you've had your tea and your bathed and in your pyjamas.

Sorry - I really do know when to use your and you're, but it's been a long week

similar to trouble's DS, my DS muddled "wh" questions constantly, it's only in the last year he's got the hang of them. I would say that my DS started off with why/because (he used but) constructions at around a similar age to your DS2, there was the odd almost echolalic "why" - I say echolalic as it seemed a bit formulaic and was a phase, and it's only fairly recently there has been a spate of genuine "why" questions....

OMG it is very bizarre.DD1 ( verbal dyspraxia et al) suddenly had this phase a couple of months ago, aged about the same as your DS. She has got over it now, does still ask why but not constantly. Like you I had thought she would miss out this phase by being too old for it IYSWIM. Annoying though it was, I was kind of rejoicing at the same time

my ds is 6 in 2months and he has been asking why questions totally out of the blue for the last year now he isnt happy with simple quick answers either he wants indepth fact answers arghh x

DD1 has been asking why questions, but I'm really not sure she understands the answers - it almost seems like a reflex to ask, IYSWIM

She also asks "where come from" all the time.

My DS2 6 has only in last few months started asking 'why' questions. He has some language processing problems and under assessment for Autism. It is lovely to have him asking 'why' even if it has been delayed! x

janmumto5.

I bet you're thrilled though (but understand the aggg)

thanks for all the replies.

total/trouble

Ds2 is secure and actively using "where" questions all the time, just like we would

He uses"what" too overextends it to include "who", and fails to use "who"

We had our very first "how" the other day (me: we can take these blocks with us. him, seeing that there are too many to carry in our hands: "how we do that?" me; "put them in a bag" him: "ok")

This "why" thing isn't like the earlier "what that" stuff. But nor is it like DS1 at this age who was asking things like "mum, why can James run faster than me?"

This is making me wish I had a SALT! I guess it's the way they respond to your answersthat gives you the real clue about what stage it really is. I've read that a 3-year old uses "why?" where a 2-year old would use "no!" and it seems a bit like that....

Oh yes!! DS (4.4, lang. delay expressive/ receptive, and more than likely ASD too) has recently been saying these exact words "but why?" in response to lots of things, even things that are plainly obvious.

He will say this 'but why?' all the time , then we try to explain, give him an answer he can understand (often difficult with DS ) to which 9 times out of 10 he will reply very casually with "oh OK!"

Lingle

Ds2(4.10) has just started this too. It's great, isn't it? I am actually enjoying it at the mo, although DS3 (2.11) has also just started it, so no doubt it will become irritating .

I thought that DS2 would miss this stage too.

Still waiting for DD, 6 in May...
However, she didn't ask ANY questions until 2.6 year old brother started asking "what" and "who" and "where". I'm guessing that when he starts with "why" she might too!

You wait until your DS/DD gets to the "what if....." stage. This stage has so far lasted 15 years

interesting that little poshpaws is doing it too.

Hi

My DS3 has dx of asd. He is 4.6 asnd has been asking why for a few weeks now. I never thought he would do that in a million years, also seems quite interested and accepts the answer quite readily which is lovely.

It is something that I didn't think he would ever do so I am finding it really enjoyable at the moment although ask me again in a few weeks!

Ds 6 speech delay and ASD he is always asking why and wont stop!

'dont pull the cats tail'

'why'

'because she will scratch you'

'why'

'because it will hurt her'

'why'

'its a bit like me, pulling your arm'

'why are you going to pull my arm'

'shall we read a book now' (lets change the subject)

youve guessed it 'WHY'

My ds is undergoing SALT at the moment (only 3.8), I was told by the therapist that endless whys are often a tactic by the child to keep the conversation going when they're finding it difficult to continue in other ways.

interesting point jennyclare,

Very positive though, as it seems to confirm the child is actively wanting to keep the conversation going.....