Feeling like a crap mum.

[kickassangel]

DD, is almost def. ADHD, which is not a 'biggie' - there are way harder things to deal with, I know.
BUT - we have just started trying her on med. The first few days we persuaded her to take it, and there was a very clear and noticeable improvement in her behaviour & responses etc. I could even tell as the med wore off, and it was tight on the 8 hours that the dose was meant to last.

So, it's not just me being pfb, or 'inventing' issues etc, is it?

Only, she hates taking the med so much that we are now waiting to see a psychiatrist to help with this. I know there are people who tell you to MAKE your child have the med, but I have tried that, and she just retched & threw up over me. We have tried EVERY form of encouragement & punishment we can think of, that other parents have suggested, and that the doctor has suggested.

dd would rather not eat anything ever again than have to take the medicine. As she does actually stop eating (and I mean completely, for days, or even a week)when she is stressed, I am thinking that we should back off on the med until we've seen the psych & try again.

but that still leaves me with an ADHD daughter, who is getting into trouble at school.

I am just going round in circles with this.

I feel crap - there is something wrong & I cannot fix it. It is a relatively small problem, but I just want her to have a happy life, and atm, she is either unhappy cos she's in trouble, or unhappy cos she has to take med.

Your not a crap mother, you are doing your best to get her to take the meds. Dd2 (ASD) wont take meds, the only thing i can get into her is her Melatonin for bedtime, i manage to put it in her drink (maybe it doesn't taste of anything?), i have tried this with other meds and she tastes it and refuses to drink anything for days after. Dd2 also gags and throws up if i try and force meds into her.

I think it depends on how important the meds are for her (and you), i would maybe back off for a while until she see's the psych as her fear could get worse.

How old is she? Does she understand what the meds are for?

she's 6, and doesn't really get how her behaviour is different. i did (rather forcefully) point out to her last night that jumping in the swimming pool at the end of a lesson (with her towel on) when the instructors weren't expecting it, and this morning, that continuing with her scooter across a road, with a car coming, were reasons why she NEEDS to learn about how to listen & calm down.

it's just been a bad couple of days & dh thinks we should keep trying with the meds.

i'm just caught between the fact that she does need them, and the fact that she can't take them.

and i am sick of people who think that i should make my 'fussy eater' have her meds. just need to hear that i'm not the only one facing this problem.

thanks

thanks, i need to just relax about this - don't want to be the horrible helicopter stressy mum who destroys her child's happiness (i'm exaggerating).

starting to feel a bit better.

she's only 6 - part of me just feels the teachers should be able to deal with her, and that we'll tackle meds when she's older & more confident about it. in fact, not just part of me, most of me feels that!

So - new resolution. I will talk to dh tonight. i will confirm with the doc. that it's ok to stop the med for now, i will NOT be horrible shouty mum (even if she does nearly kill herself twice in twelve hours), we will have a fun & boisterous weekend. Gar, only the 'fun' of making her do homework to get through now.

kickass- follow your heart, if you feel that its not worth forcing the drugs and she's too young then stop the meds, mums know best and i'm sure you can talk dh round to your way of thinking. Hope you all have a great weekend. I hate making dd1 do her homework, its a night-mare, i don't force her as i don't feel happy about 6 year olds having to do homework, weekends are for playing and having fun.

Does hard reward work for her? Like, she can sit on the computer for 45 minutes straight after taking the med.

Ds1 is on melatonin, I hide these in chocolate spread and smartie sandwiches (tiny ones) as he can't distinguish one crunchy round thing from another if it's covered in chocolate.

As for homework, I spend 20 minutes per homework given saying "sit down, turn around pick up your pencil, sit DOWN, well get your pencil back then, pick it up, no, with your hand, now write the date DS1 TURN AROUND PLEASE"

But then That's It. I am not spending hours on something. he can't sit down for that long anyway.

Sometimes it helps to have him sat on the floor for homework, so he can twitch and roll his limbs and make jerky movements without knocking anything over.

coldtits - substitute dd for ds & that's IT exactly with homework. THEN you have to get her to actually think about it, not write down a random answer (she is bright, it is easy for her)

Starlight, yes, we've tried EVERYTHING.

And she would honestly rather never eat again than have ice cream with sprinkles (some of which are the med), or lemon cake, or chocolate, or anything which may have med in it. And I have called her bluff on this. She really will starve rather than eat something she doesn't want. I last 3 days before I cave & give in, (it's not just med she's like this with, any time she's stressed), she has NEVER capitulated, just gets thinner.

So, I just have to accept that she is going to be 'ADHD' for a while longer & watch like a hawk to prevent any further running in front of car/jumping in water episodes.

TFI WINE CLUB tonight (in RL)!