mental torture, obsessed and monkey cages

[pokhara]

mental torture is what i am doing to myself, one day knowing what i want to happen for ds then the next day questioning it again thn making a decision then questionng it again, going round in big circles, i know ds has severe lang delay on 1st centile they have told me numerous times and written on paper but still keep thinking is it that severe though and will he be ok in ms without help, the the next day i decide sn school would be best, dont know my arse from my toe at te bloody moment, and it is pure mental torture, cant stop constantly thinking about shool in september, i havebecome obsessed with it all.

Taking ds to the zoo tommorow for his 4th birthday, i think i might stay there in the monkey enclosure, hen no one will notice me going mad, best place for me. lol

Same here pokhara

I was thinking today 'will it get easier once they start school (less stress ect)?' I really hope so.

We changed are minds last week about which school to send dd2 to, we have now decided on SN, i just hope its the right choice for dd2.

Have fun at the zoo .

marne - has your dd2 got a statement yet?

Not yet , we are in the process of getting one, it should be sorted in the next few months.

FWIW , my belief is that it's a mainstream world our kids will eventually have to face, so you should try mainstream first, to see if he can cope. Only if he can't should you go to SN school. I know not all will agree with me, but those are my thoughts. My boy is ASD and severely speech-delayed yet has coped in mainstream so far (touch wood) - he's now in Year 1, albeit with fulltime support. He is not anxious about noise/crowds etc, and does not have aggressive reactions, so that has helped him cope. If a child is anxious, the decision-making process might be different, but tbh I think I'd always give MS a shot first.

On the other side of the coin... one can transition from SN to mainstream ..contrary to rumours LEAs don't keep children in SN school if they are ready to move on..and sometimes the smaller protective setting of SN schooling can give the child the boost they need.

My son went to MS Nursery, then special school (had severe speech delay, ASD, mild physical disability) We really weren't sure what was best, but we knew where he would be happiest. After 8 years in special school he is now starting to integrate into a MLD unit in mainstream secondary It has taken all that time to give him the skills and the confidence, and while he will remain a SN school pupil I'm confident he will do more and more with mainstream for his remaining school years. He was way too behind and anxious (and oblivious!) for mainstream as a smaller child but now rising 13, he is finally getting there

I think one can only go with gut instincts on what will suit your DC best..and be prepared to be flexible if one approach doesn't suit

sickof- the trouble is its harder to move them from MS to SN than it is to take them out of SN and move them to SN.

Dd2 copes well at MS nursery (she enjoys it more than her sn nursery) but i worry that after a year or 2 in MS she will begin to struggle (mainly with the social side of things).

I feel SN school would teach dd2 more life skills (as well as reading writing etc..) and she will be around people that understand her needs (and ASD). Dd2 is very bright (can read and write, knows her numbers etc but what use is this if she can not communicate well with others and can not dress herself.

I also feel it will be less stressful for me (this might sound selfish) as i won't have to worry about dd2 getting the help she needs or getting pushed around and called names. I don't want to be up the school each day fighting for the help she needs or getting upset because she doesn't fit in.

Our plan is to put dd2 into SN school for a year and then see if she is ready for MS next year, if not then we keep her in SN.