ideas for encouraging conversation please

[anonandlikeit]

ds2 has a good vocabulary & good understanding but only speaks to answer a question & then he keeps the words used to a minimum.
He never shares information or tells us anything,at all. He rarely speaks at school & again only ever when spoken to.
He behaves the same wiht children & adults.
He seems happy enough in his own thoughts but wondered if anyone has any tips on how to encourage more social language.
We did have a spell about a year ago where he started to share little bits of info with us but this has stopped now.
He is 7 with ASD & mild CP.

is he into computer/video games at all - I've found that they are a strong motivator for DS - in terms of asking for help/explanations and in terms of there being visuals on the screen to encourage comments.

no, will sit at the PC if I put it on & put a game on but isn't really motivated by them.
He loves anything to do with the army & will sit & look at pictures of tanks & guns all day but doesn't share his interest & has no desire to know beyond what is obvious to him IYKWIM.
he never asks to know more & if he gets to the point where he can't do something or it no longer intersts him he just walks away.
His only other obsession is food, we have to limit & lock away food as he would eat his way through the cupboard if we let him.

did he have a language delay?

I'm just thinking that tips on helping kids with language delays might help - but if he had language delay you've probably combed through More than Words, It Takes Two, etc. already.

Re food, could you talk about a trip that'll end up at a foodie destination eg pub and all talk about the menu before you set off?

maybe
stage 1 - you have the actual menu for where you're going. you ask him to decide on his order before you set off so you can phone it through - all very concrete and practical.

stage 2 - you have the actual menu - you ask him to decide before you set off what he's going to order

stage 3 - you don't have the menu - you express hopes about what they'll have on the menu
etc

apologies if this is rubbish!

I feel a bit out of my depth then, as my DS is reasonably motivated to talk. does he have any interest in pretend play - just thinking that they do a good range of Armed Forces dolls and toys if so. Or whether as lingle has suggested something food related - would he be interested in cooking/recipe books etc?

Thanks both for your ideas.
He had delayed speech so over the yrs has had SALT input & we've read the books etc, its just I'm struggling how to move him on.

I guess its as much a social problem as it is a language problem giv en that he is more than capable of saying the words & forming correct sentences.

I can ask him about a menu, what he wants etc & he would answer (once he has decided, but choice is another BIG problem for him)

He does play with his soldiers & tanks etc, lines them all up as a battalion (or whatever you call them), if you ask what he's doing it really is like pulling teeth, I may get a simple "PLAY" as the answer.
If I say tell me about that soldier, all he'll say is "he's a soldier"

I suppose as you say its abbout motivating him to want to speak & it just seems he really doesn't want to. He doesn't ask for anything or ask to do anything so not alot to get us going really.

sometimes I finish a book and DH says "did you like it?" I say "yes". DH says "what did you like about it?"
I clam up. I wanted to read a book, not prepare a bit of literary criticism for DH. I say "it was just good", wishing he would go away. At some point a week or so later, I might want to say something about it.

I appreciate that I'm picking up on two isolated examples you gave that may not be representative, but I would definitely clam up in response to "tell me about the soldier" - for me it would be similar to the book-reading example I gave above. Do you think may have fallen back on asking too many questions because he is not volunteering communication himself?

possibly Lingle, I am aware at times that he just listens to a one sided ramble from me.
Its a balance between trying to key in to his areas of interest in order to encourage social language & skills & not constantly quizzing him.

We had a completly silent ride home from school today - he gave me a cuddle in the playground & thats about the only communication he has had with me.

have you got the History Channel or Military Channel on TV? They do documentaries on tank history etc. Would that interest him? Maybe you could watch it together and talk about it, if it interested him.

things I do with my DS

mix comments with questions - e.g. say I went to town to the shops today - to see if DS will ask me about my day or will say what he did
ask very specific questions - e.g. were you happy or sad at school today? did you do your spellings
not use too many open questions

would he like it if you tried to join in with the soldiers? or would he feel you were disrupting him?

Thanks for your suggestions, he LOVES the History channel, it is the way he relaxes, wrapped in a blanket staring at the TV, history channel or war film usually.
It is his time after school.

If I try to join in with soldiers he will tolerate it for a while, then looks at me as if I'm mad.. kind of- what's she doing, look & gets up & walks off.

That is alot of his trouble he is sooo passive & bound by rules & I guess he just doesn't get chit chat. Unless it is in response to a question he just doesn't understand the rules of language so he doesn't do it.

Actually who am I trying to please here, me or him. He is happy enough I suppose!

have you tried 'therapeutic listening' CDs that do something to the way you hear sounds (i think).sounds very odd, but really did make a difference.

friends son did this after doing exercises for retained reflexes (got exercises and therapeutic listening from sensory trained OT). he becaeme far more tuned into other peoples conversation and more talkative after it.
(took a few months to see a change though.)

Tyhanks improving, I'll have a look