I may just have lost my dp's help aaagggghhhhhh

[Jimjams]

Trainee SALT with 10 years experience as a nanny was going to help me for 18 hours a week over the hols- paid for by direct payments. Ideal person obviously. But the tax is a nightmare (because she has children so receives tax credits). The very helpful man at the tax credit office has told her its not worth doing the job as she risks losing all her tax credits. Aaagghhhh what is the point of SS funding direct payments if people then can't work as they end up worser off.

Honestly they have no suitable playschemes for my son, no respite, and now they make it impossible to employ an ideal person using funding from social services.

Luckily she is still keen (despite tax credit office man) and is trying to find out whether or not she can do it without being penalised. No-one seems to know.

So, what's in that inbox? Has Goosey got a solution? I need to know NOW!! Heh heh.......

what a pita!!!! sorry to hear this jimjams....

and Fio - I am of the opinion - whatever works.. if that is what you have to do to have support - then go ahead. I firmly believe no one understands until they do a day in your life... so you have to do what it takes to get them to understand. ALso have learnt quite slowly ( okay can be think and proud at times) that sitting back and waiting does me no good as the ones that usually get sorted are those that make the most noise.... so I maketh NOISE!!!

JJ what is your MP like??? helpful or waste of space.... just know mine back in the UK was fab about helping out in these sorts of things... might have been because it was an election year ( not cynical me)

if these suggestions are silly feel free to ignore.. just trying to think what you could do. so will just seethe on your behalf

Jimjams, is there a classroom assistant from ds' school that would like to earn a bit extra in the holidays? Or from any local school for that matter, or a nursery?

What about getting some help with the other DSs and using DPs for that? I know its not ideal but it might be easier to get someone, the DPs won't go to waste and you'll have a bit less pressure.

SS have come up with someone who is a childminder who wants some extra work. I'm meeting her next Tuesday alng with the dp's coordinator.- she has no experience of SN but would take ds2 and/or ds3. DS2 isn't really a problem as he can go to nursery every morning during the hols (which he loves). I'm not really happy about leaving ds3 wiht someone I don't know. He's only 6 months and I'm not entirely convinced about him yet.

May see if she'll do an extra pair of hands job.....

This sounds a bit more positive, jimjams. Hope she's good. Maybe she could do an extra pair of hands job at first and graduate on to having ds1, if she's got a bit of nous and is willing? Sounds like help with him is really what you need most of all,

You can't pay DS2s nursery fees with the DPs then? Leaving you with cash to pay the original person?

Hope it all works out.

Good luck, Jimjams. Thinking of you

Good luck, Jimjams. I hope this turns out to be a good arrangement.

Fio - Anyone who would criticise you and your friend for doing what needed to be done has obviously never lived your lives. Get whatever you can!

phew!

ps, jimjams I hope you find someone, what will happen to the money otherwise, can you pay yourself or your dad? or something?

Scummy - that 'no worse off' thing only seems to apply if you rent but not if you have a mortagage. It applies to my friend who is a single mother with no help or contact with her ds's father. She suffers from depression and would really benefit from working but atm benefits cover all her mortgage, but if she worked at all then the mortgage would no longer be paid and it would be total disaster. The man sent to assess her for being a non-working mother actually told her not to get a job - it's crap isn't it?
Jimjams, hope something works out here. You clearly need this help.

Yes, you cannot get through the summer holidays without help and housebound. We will have to come to your aid if that happens

That is rubbish, aloha. Your poor friend.

Any more news jimjams?

See hooooorrrraaaayyyy scummy

I've booked her in to look after the baby on Momday whilst I pick up ds2 from nursery. dh was being very unsympathetic until I pointed out that hewould have to pick up ds2 every lunch time as there was no way I could go and collect him with ds2 and ds3. So he'll be very pleased

I'm really pleased as she's lovely and just so perfect and ideal.

Oh that's wonderful news. I really am delighted.

weird how our husbands dont seem to take how difficult it all is on board

oh he knows Fio - he's never looked after all 3 of them (he's made sure of that!)- he just has his head up his backside at the moment Actually thinking about it he has had all 3 once for a few hours before ds1's ABA tutor turned up- I told him I was going into town shopping and then I was going out for lunch- and I did!

My DH has got his head up his backside at the moment too- maybe it's an epidemic?!

yes mine has too, it must be!