DS forms being sent to panel.

[kissyfurschaos]

Had (another) meeting at DS nursery today and am now at home in tears.
Ds 2.7 has a few issues one of which was his lack of speech. In the past month his speech has improved immensely to the point where I have no issues with it.
I find him very active though and he can really push it with boundaries.
He is a bright boy and loves books, numbers, letters etc...
The report being sent to the panel is really negative and i'm kicking myself for signing it. There is no mention of his improvement in speech, it says he reguarly lines toys up- he has never done this at home and it's never been mentioned to me before -parents evening was only two weeks ago and I asked then for them to let me know what he is like. It suggests he exlusively plays with Thomas the Tank and nothing else. It have seen him play with different toys there and his daily book says he does too.
If I didn't know DS and read it I would assume the child in mind was autistic. As his mother I don't think he is and if anything a boistorous, sometimes hyperactive child.
Is it really normal to paint such a negative picture?
~

Sorry if I sound a moaning bitch life has thrown a hell of a lot of crap over the past 5 years, stillborn dd, abusive ex who has a restraining order, several house moves, sick parents to name a few. Whatever is wrong I will be there for DS but I just am feeing low and then something else strikes. Just feel they're being over zealous.

kissyfurschaos, that sounds tough In general, LEAs will fund the least expensive option when it comes to educating a child with SEN/SN. In general, if a child has a report saying that they need full 1:1, the LEA will offer 15 hours, for example. So most people are aware of that and will write very negatively, in order to secure support.

Sorry for your losses, they are all really painful in their own way, I am sure.

kissyfurschaos sorry about your DD (and for all the difficult stuff you have had to deal with in recent times).

As for the report, it is usual for them to have a negative slant as accessing extra funding from the LEA can be very difficult for them to get. You could write a letter making your amendments but in your situation I would be tempted to let this one go, but be sure any future reports are accurate. Don't feel pressured to sign at a meeting, ask to take it home to read again first.

Thanks so much for the replies. I have arranged a meeting for Monday to voice my concerns. Am bringing my Mum with me (am a single parent)
I am the first to admit and accept issues with DS's behaviour but I told a paediatrition at hospital DS does not line toys up or like Thomas to the exclusion of others. This info was sent in a report to nursery and asked nursery for their concerns.
They sent a reply which highlighted concerns I agree with and in addition said his play almost excusively lists of lining toys up and he is interested in almost exclusivley Thomas the Tank. I wasnt shown this report readily I had to ask for it from nnursery last week.
I was informed by his Keyworker last month he was doing well so these remarks from the SENCO have not impressed me.
Should I have been sent a copy of Nurserys report automatically? SALT and hospital reorts have always been sent to both myself aand nursery. I am also annoyed that not a single member of staff has mentioned DS lining toys up to me. Also when I collect him he is rarely playing with Thomas but a selection of other toys. His record sheets since he started in Sep show he has played with different toys and there are photos of DS playing happily with them.
Sorry if this is waffley. To top it off DS was diagnosed Thurs eve with hand, foot and mmouth and myself with tonsillitis this morning aagghhh!
Please could anyone give me any pointers on what to say to them Mon or give me any other advice? Thanks

First, you need to decide whether you think your son needs extra support at nursery, so you can then decide whether to support or oppose their stance.
You would benefit from having an information exchange with the nursery in a sit down with a cuppa and a biscuit sense, so you can ask them what they are doing and what they are trying to achieve, and tell them your concerns.
If they are going for support, the more details the report contains, the more chance of them getting it for him. Ask parents on this forum about the nightmare of depression that is the filling in of the DLA form.
Lastly, I'm a bit concerned that you think that children on the spectrum can't be boisterous and hyperactive. So I'd do some reading up on Asperger's syndrome, which my son has, and see if it alters your criteria.
Whatever the outcome, good luck and tell us.

I would raise the issue of the Thomas the tank/lining things up but would also ask if his play is at a level they would expect for his age. I would ask what support they are hoping to get from the panel and how they will use it to help your son. So, will he have an IEP (Individual Education Plan)? What targets would they be looking to set? What will they be doing to help him achieve these targets? etc.

Saying all that. if you aren't happy with the nursery do look at others - I pulled my DS1 out of his first preschool and whilst things haven't been perfect in his current one, the communication between them and me is good so I don't ever feel left in the dark over things.

I hope you and your son are feeling better soon, I caught Hand Foot and mouth from my 2 children and it wasn't pleasant at all. (plus felt rather silly being 32 with a child's illness!)

Good luck

Thanks. Have looked up Aspergers and am not sure, def not ruled it out. He is very hard work and am sure he must be difficult at nursery especially with the others to look afterr.
He has an I.E.P in place and having met some targets its been amended. I have always spoke really highly of the nursery in past and was happy to send DS.
I just am shocked that this wasnt mentioned to me but at what seems like behind my back to the hospital. I'm always asking how he is doing etc.. so it's not like I don't show an interest.
Am wondering if I also have a touch of the Hand, foot and mouth as in addition to normal tonsillitis spots there are actual red blisters in my mouth and throat. Know what you mean about feeling silly Notfromaroundhere- I had to research to see if adults can get it!
There are a lot of positives about the nursery and some great staff who DS adores.
May have to postpone tomo as not feeling well at all.

If it's a good nursery and you are happy they provide good care for your DS then I would try and work it out with them. So say in future you would like a copy of any reports they send. I know how it feels to read untrue things in a report, I had one from the paediatrician which stated "he lashed out at other children" which wasn't in the slightest bit true (he was actually really passive at the time and didn't try and defend himself even if another child had him pinned down!). It was a muddle between the Paediatrician's handwriting and the person typing it. They did apologise and amended it but I can remember how annoyed I was but mistakes do happen and at least clerical ones can be changed. FWIW my DS1's preschool don't cc me in on copies of reports they send but they do tell me if one has been requested and I can see a copy on his file if I want. I think with preschool as I see them 4 times a week the protocol for will be different to say a SALT or doctor's report as they won't be seen as frequently.

The Keyworker saying your DS was doing well was probably talking about his individual progress, whereas the report for panel will focus on any difficulties he is having - so they can both be correct IYSWIM? My own DS1 has made huge progress since he's been at his preschool(with the odd wobble here and there), and this is recognised and recorded. However, for getting him a statement for primary school the focus will be on his difficulties and the level of support he needs to be able to take part in activities, play with his peers, toiletting etc.

I hope you're feeling better soon and can get things sorted with the nursery. (btw I found the blisters on my hands the most uncomfortable thing about HF&M, though it probably didn't help that I had a 2 hour drive to do the day they came out!)