Gun play

[debs40]

DS is 7 with a working diagnosis of Aspergers. He is obsessed by Star Wars and Indiana Jones and 'boy's' stories like this. He knows all the characters, the guns etc.He can pretend to shoot people etc when nervous but often just enjoys playing.

I have never encouraged this and we never had toy guns in the house when he was little but it has been impossible to stop and I think most boys his age seem to be like this - light sabre battles etc.

His teachers have said recently that he has made comments about 'shooting all the girls' - he doesn't like them! Understandably, they just done't want him talking like this in class - not that it was said in an open group (someone snitched on him).

He led the 'wake and shake' this morning and his teacher has put a note in his home/school book about him pretending to shoot or karate chop as part of his dance and having to tell him this is not acceptable.

There is then a note to say they observed him at playtime (something that had been suggested on our Early Bird Plus course because he was worried about people not playing with him) and that he was happy but that there was lots of 'gun play'.

I have said that i will speak to him about the class and how it is inappropriate but that I think it is difficult to stop this sort of thing at playtime unless there is a clear school policy for EVERYONE.

I understand that he needs for this not to spill over in to the class but I don't want him singled out in the playground as he is not actually doing anyone any harm.

It is so wrapped up with his 'special interests' and I think most of the time that this is the way he gets through school ....i.e. what makes school interesting (playtime shoot outs with friends)

Any views?????

Could you send him to karate classes, then he could do his Karate chops and learn that there is a time and a place for it, the first thing they learn at Karate is that it stays in that room and is not to be used outside that room (ie, school). I know a few ASD children who do Karate, i'm not sure if it would work for your ds, there's always a chance it could make things worse. Dd1 has Aspergers and will stick to rules (when someone else other than me sets them).

Thanks. I think he would like something like that in a small group. They tend to do these clubs in massive numbers at the local leisure centre.

I have had a chat with him about keeping 'guns' out of the classroom but I will clarify with the teacher whether there is any problem at playtime for him and whether there is a school policy on it.

DS1 has a major obsession at the mo with Ben 10 and fights aliens all the time. In some ways this is normal -- I think acting out Ben10/Star Wars etc is one of the main ways boys socialise, apart from football. But ds1 just can't keep it under control, and especially loses the difference between pretend fighting and real fighting. He's been in trouble at school numerous times because once he's in character (his favourite Ben 10 alias is 'mungosaurus' for goodness sake) he can't attend to anything else. I'd really like some way of dealing with this, at the moment I'm stumped.

Nim...I sympathise. How old is he? DS had problems with real/play fighting getting confused in reception/early yr 1. He is better now but the re-enactment of battles is the key way he plays.

That is fine as long as other kids are playing star wars but they've all turned to running games at the moment and he can't adapt his play like they can.

I find that when he is at home, I can control these obsessions and engage him. I actually think that they become a bit of a 'mask' when he is at school....a way of coping. Adopting a character is an easy routine to fall back on. Does he do it as much at home?

A couple of ideas from our Early Bird plus course:

Differential reinforcement - fancy term which means if he can go without doing something e.g. playfighting at break, he will get a reward (team point, sticker etc whatever works for him)

Redirecting the interest - e.g. to something sort of associated, e.g. Ben 10/Star Wars and may be space and aliens etc.

Positive reinforcement of every playtime without playfighting etc

It is hard because we're not there with them at school

Debs thanks for your ideas, I'll have a think about how I could use these. Ds1 is 6 and he's Ben 10 at home as well -- his brother is a major target. I'm thinking that if I can work on it at home I'll be in a better position to offer strategies to school (well, I hope, but whether they'll listen is another question), and it's really helpful to be reminded of some strategies. When you're in the thick of it, with ds2 getting thumped all the time, its hard to do anything but shout, which, of course is totally ineffective and counterproductive...