Anybody else a Step-parent to SN child?

[buttons99]

Hello.

I am looking to find anyone else who is a step parent to a child with SN. In particular if the child lives with you and your DH/DP as mine does with us. She visits her real Mum most weekends.

My DSD is 11 and last week was disgnosed with ASD, she already had a diagnosis of ADHD when I met her Dad 6 years ago. We also have other children in the family.

I have lots of mixed feelings at the moment and whilst lots of Mums have been great at offering me support, I would greatly like to find other StepMums who maybe could relate to my feelings. I don't have the "bond" that a birth mother would have and have days when I really wonder why I got involved (obviously the answer is because I met her Dad!) and made my life so complicated.

I do have days its great to be a Stepmum and really enjoy life, but then there are the very black days when I feel I am living with my life choices but don't really like it. Please get in touch with me if you can relate or offer any advice. Thanks.

my partner is a step dad to my autistic ds who is 4yrs 4 months. however we got together when ds was 9 months and was behind and a bit different but nothing glaringly obvious! he is great with my ds, sorry not the same as your situation but thought id add and bump up for someone else xx

Thanks meerkatsandkookaburras. I am sure there will be other stepmums out there in my position, its just a matter of finding them.

I am glad your dp is great with your child, really appreciate him as its not always easy to be the stepparent to a SEN child. I try really really hard with my DSD but someimes it can be very frustrating that I seem to be the "parent" who cares, researches, tries to put a variety of strategies in place to support her and then her own parent just doesn't bother, so each week I try and each weekend her Mum undoes some of my hardwork.

Any SN Stepmums out there????

Hi buttons I'm stepmum to twin boys, both of whom are have the ASD diagnosis, one of whom has ADHD (and I think dyslexia). One boy is much more autistic than the other. They live with their Mum (who found out she was pregnant after she had split up with their dad and decided to go ahead with the pregnancy so not exactly a happy situation). I've been with their Dad 2 and a bit years now, we're married and I'm 10 weeks pg. Life has been very very difficult, not because of the boys who are brilliant in their own way, but because their mother and father don't get on so we have had awful, awful times. DH doesn't have parental rights and lives in fear she'll move the boys to outer mongolia or something.

The really hard part now is that the son with 'worse' autism is being increasingly difficult, and was threatening his brother with a kitchen knife the other day - great - I had to disarm him. I'm so so not ok with all of this now I am pg, just want to run away and keep myself and the bean safe .

You do really well to cope with your DSD, step parenting is the hardest thing and I'm lousy at it!