DS is 2.9 and started nursery in january, he goes 2 mormings a week and settled in ok. Then a couple of weeks ago he had a couple of tantrums at being told he couldn't play with certain toys. Next session was fine then last thursday he had what sounds like a massive tantrum because some other children disturbed his play. Apparently he was throwing things around and going absolutely wild for about 1/2 an hour. I have never seen him do this at home, at most he will throw himself to the floor and scream a bit, nothing beyond usual toddler stuff, I thought.
The woman that runs the nursery then told me she thought DS may be autistic, as some of his behaviour reminded her of 2 other boys she had taught who had been diagnosed. However, they were both 5-6 years old, as she used to be a year 1 teacher. She said not to worry for now, but to write down any incidents.
What concerns me more than the tantrums is that DS is still not really speaking, he does have some words, for foods, animals, bye bye etc, but just doesn't seem that interested in communicating. He doesn't often spontaneously point at things but will do it along with me if I point something out in a book or whatever. He often ignores you if you call his name or ask him to do something, though he'll come like a shot for meal times or to put his shoes on to go out.
He can however count to 12 and (bizarrely!) knows the alphabet and phonic equivalents as a result of following stuff DD is doing. He also makes a good attempt at singing along with songs and often copies words or other sounds he hears, as well as actions.
He just seems happy as he is most of the time, he plays happily on his own or with his older sister, who he copies a lot. He does make eye contact, and is also very affectionate, infact one of he few words is "kiss", accompanied by a big sloppy one! He doesn't have sensory issues beyond being a fussy eater.
I just feel at a loss really, he certainly doesn't tick all the boxes for autism, on the other hand we've had a niggling feeling something is up for a while and what the nursery said has brought it all into focus a bit.
The situation is complicated by the fact that I live in Italy, we speak English at home and the nursery is English, as well as DD's school. Which would complicate looking for any help out there. I am at home most of the time though so have been trying to engage him more, if anyone has any ideas for what we could do that would be very helpful.
To top it off DH is away at the moment and I haven't discussed this with him yet, prefer to wait til he comes back in 10 days. I have had no one to talk this through with and would really appreciate any help or support.