im in shock after what friend said and dont know if i want to see her again

[lisad123wantsherquoteinDM]

Had friends round for coffee today, we meet normally twice week for kids to play and coffee for us. Both friends are CM.
I said I have decided if things arent sorted re DLA after court Im going to register as a CM and focus on SN CMing. Friend then asked why would i want to do that, and then went on the tell me how scarcy children with SN are, how children with Downs are volient and aggressive and childen with CP dibble loads and will need their arses wiped. Called them the S word too I was in total shocked but did manage to say i think she was being closed minded and that she had upset me. other friend has a SIL with Downs and so was very put out too.

Im not sure how I feel about a friend that is so closed minded, but she did admit that its more fear of them that makes her worry. Should i just carry on but let her know im not happy, or just stop seeing her.

ditch her.......
you don't need people who are that ignorant in your life

emmm, does she know you have a niece and nephew with CP???

Christ

Well done you for taking the high road and staying calm.

What a horrible way to see someone's true colours though, especially with you being an aunty to SN children so what she said must have felt very personal

wouldnt mind but she knew i had DN and DN with CP and other friends SIL has DS. Also she knows my DD1 has SN too
think i will try and aviod her for a while

You dont need friends like that. She sounds horrid.

I think I'd be very busy next time she suggests coffee.

PixieOnaLeaf you can be over here

Really not the sort of friend you need. And I doubt if you're the sort of friend she deserves.

Why not educate her, sounds like she has no idea about special needs.

My ds made a derogatory comment the other day 'because other kids say it' he really didnt realise the implications or the impact he could have on, until i explained to him.

I realise your friend is not a child, just ill informed by the sounds of it.

Butting in from active convos, I am totally shocked by what she said. Thats not a few uneducated comments about people with sn - the kind that you can think ah she meant well but obviously doesn't know much. This is mmiles away from that, its rude and horrible. I challange people if they use the R or S word and have no problem doing so. SN CM sounds challanging and rewarding, all the best with it if you decide to do that. Oh and imo ditch the "friend"

Hi, just read message, had similar comments from colleagues at work (am SW) when I married my husband who is physically disabled, and also about son who has LD, I've kind of 'graded' my responses, if they are not important relationships then Iv'e let them slide, spent time with people who 'get it', if the relationship matters, and what was said was more ignorance than malice then tackle it, (yeah I know easier said than done!)

I think I've got more stroppy and less willing to take crap as time as has gone on.... altho recently friend I haven't seen for a long time got back in touch and when I mentioned having disabled DS and DH she said 'but your son isn't disabled he is pysically fine only has LD' and I am still deciding whether to tackle or let slide, so not easy choice.

Sounds like you have some good people in your life though, glad to hear that.

I would definately not want to speak to her for a while, but I would tell her why!

I would avoid her for a while but I must admit that I have found that a lot of people are afraid of both children and adults with Special needs as they dont know how to react/act around them as they have not come into contact with any one with special needs before.

you dont need people like that around you. I got rid of many 'friends' when my son was born. I was honest with them and dont them why.