Struggling with ASD DS and NT DS

[LegoLady95]

Hello
I wondered if anybosy had any advice for me. DS1 2.5 is ASD, DS2 1.5 seems to be NT. I am on my own with them most days, all day (except 2 days per week when I work). I can cope ok when we are out - playgroups, the park etc. but as soon as we step inside the house trouble starts. DS2 is a typical 18month old, into everything and fascinated by his brother. DS1 can tolerate adults quite well, but does not tolerate peers or his brother being 'in his space' which is exactly what DS2 does - all day long. I am trying to bring on DS1's PECS and do some floortime activities with him to increase his interaction, but I simply can't do anything unless DS2 is having a nap. I get one afternoon a week with DS1 while DS2 is at childminder (I pay for this with DLA), but I like to take him swimming which he loves, rather than stay at home. Sometimes I put DS1 upstairs for half an hour while DS2 and I stay downstairs, just so he can get some peace (he is happy playing up there), but I don't like doing this. I found myself barricading him into a corner with a table the other day, because he wanted to play with an abacus and was getting really upset when DS2 kept trying to touch it.
I'm reaching the end of my tether a bit, has anyone been in a similar situation? Feels a bit better just for writing it down lol,
LegoLady

do you have homestart in your area? Could they maybe come and help so you have time with both boys?
My 2 are older, well DD2 is 2.5 but DD1 is 7, so she can take herself off to her space if needed.
Do you have stairgates? Could you use them to give them some space?

DD1 loves tents and often can be found under the table which she loves and gives her space without needing to be upstairs,.
HTH

I had a playpen, although the age gap is bigger (ds1 -ASD, 10; DS2, 8 and ds3, 5). That worked quite well. Sometimes ds1 would climb in, but not that often. It was a big wooden one.

Thank you. I haven't heard of Homestart - I will google it, it sounds great. I will think about trying to make a 'haven' for DS1 downstairs, I've seen those large playpens, perhaps that it the way forward.
Thank you for your replies.

You can also get 'playpens' that you can use to 'divide' part of the room off, that's what I used to have to do for my DC's (I have 3, DD asd, DS1 NT, DS2 asd). Some asd dc's become more tolerant of others being near them as they get older (DS2 is getting markedly more tolerant the older he gets, and is 6yo now), others just dont, I'm afraid (DD is almost 12yo, and still has serious 'personal space' issues). She doesn't even like sharing the dinner table with anyone else...

I did the same as loudass. Once the dts got too big to be plonked IN the playpen, it went right across the lounge splitting it in half so that ds1 could go sit up the table and do his thing and the dts were on the other side of it.

They generally get on really well now, but he still finds them a bit loud and in his face sometimes and I jsut have to seperate them.

Do you get any respite from the social services? This will help to accommodate special time for you DS 2, when your DS 1 is well looked after.
You can also visit www.autismfor-us.org/home2.htm for play ideas and resources to support better communication with your DS with ASD