Struggling with DD at the mo.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

She's nearly 12 and waiting on assessment for Aspergers.

Her whole life she's been tempramental and volatile and we've managed by avoiding things that will set her off and ignoring her when she's having a paddy.

We seem to be having a more difficult than usual phase at the moment.

Everything anyone says to her she takes wrongly so she shouts and swears back all the time.

She keeps breaking thngs. tearing up books, ripping up her own and DD1s school stuff. writing hateful messages on things. Her language is shocking. she shouts, hits (us and herself) and she is miserable (as am I)

I just don't know how to parent her. what to do to avoid upsetting her and to stop her spending her whole life in a temper. She hates me for everything do and to be honest I really don't like her very much.

She also does this in between tantrum thing where she want to cuddle up and not be left alone and desperately wants reassurance which I give but because her moods are so difficult to judge I usually end up doing or saying something she thinks is wrong and off she goes again.

I'm so fed up with the hate and moods and tempers and the broken things.

I wish I had an answer for you, but my almost 12yo DD with asd is exactly the same, and it feels like I've spent her whole life walking on eggshells so as to try not to upset her. And it's causing arguments with DP because he thinks I'm too soft on her, but really it's just that I don't have the energy anymore to deal with the screaming and throwing things and breaking doors etc. I don't even get the cuddles either, never have. I'm waiting to see Tascc on the 17th March because I am at the end of my rope now trying to deal with her, and the other 2 dc's, and my own health problems, with having pneumonia atm. If I get any answers, I'll let you know!!

My dd was given Prozac by CAMHS and it did help a great deal. It seemed to calm her down and make her feel happier about herself. She is off it now and does sometimes have big paddies but she is much more in control of herself and her feelings. It seemed to work by re educating her behaviour patterns. She became less anxious and seemed happier in herself.