SNs and MS mums dont except me or ds:(

[want2sleep]

Hi all,

I just want to vent...

I AM A MUM OF A SN DC TOO

Ds is home educated with limited intergration into school....so getting to know parents has been impossible as ds goes and leaves at diferent times.

I attend did attend SN groups twice weekly up until yesturday. I had to start bringing someone with me as none of the mums speak to me or offer invites to shows/parties etc... all their kids go to SN schools and ds is the only one Home educated.

I am not paranoid as person confirmed with me they turn their backs and chat when I approach them. They all sit together and never no room (if their is they dont make conversation with me, I do try but now cant keep trying with people who are nasty/rude and judgemental to me). Lady with me thinks they think I am a snob because i have not put my son in the SN unit.

So now I am left with nowhere to go with ds! It has really upset me.

Feel so isolated

what a bunch of horrible ladies, Im sending them bad vibes
Some people are just like that, I know some ladies dont agree with how i am with DD1 either but we do what works for us.
Is there another group nearby you can go to? Have you tried any of the home ed groups in your area? Or any other groups? Only because SN groups arent always a good thing as its so focused on the childrens SN that they can isolate themselfs and their children.

Hope this help and where is this group I think we should all crash it

Thanks Lisa for support

I wouldnt want you to experience them honestly..

No home ed groups as no home ed kids..ds only one. He's too young for cubs/leisure centre etc as 5 yrs old and just been dx dyspraxic so will try dyspraxic group in next county.

Other than that we wonder soft play,/parks on our own...oh god it's heartbreaking... wish we could belong anywhere!!!

Perhaps you have just been unlucky with this group of women who have formed a clique.

Just a thought though, does your ds have anything in common with their kids, just because they are all SN? I have to admit, I found the pre-school SN group I - briefly - went to very painful as DS was by far the most disabled there. I felt I had as little in common with the mums there as I did with NT mums. Are these mum's kids more severely disabled? It can be painful seeing or hearing about children who are relatively able, especially when your child is young IMO. No excuse to treat you badly of course, but it might go deeper than snobbery.

Good luck with the dyspraxia group.

hi want2sleep are you in notts area by any chance? i know of a sat group which ive heard is very cliquey but never been, am intrigued no if thats it!! hope you find somewhere else to go, what about looking into sn swimming sessions at local swimming baths etc, might get chatting to people there? i dont go anywhere so no good with ideas though wish i did its too hard with ds he attacks any kid in sight or sits glued to me rocking and screaming bless him so it never works (ds is autistic)

i know how you feel we seem to be on teh fence not fully accepted in Sn world or the Ms world

often at Sn groups i been i get the but those Dx are not serious so why is ds using a wheelchair wearing the afos like the nhs gives them away to whoever asks and that you can force a 4.8 ds sit down in one

But in the ms world ds stands out as differnt to

This is first place found me and ds have been fully accepted and found other dc similar to ds

want2sleep I HE too - we always have families with pre-schoolers/babies only at our HE groups (the social ones anyway), the intention to HE is enough Have a look at what is going on locally, there may well be a HE group that would suit you.

I went to a toddlers group just like that when DD was little (and I was unaware of any SN), it was awful, I then left and found a much friendlier group, so I DO think it could be THEM and nothing to do with your ds and his education/SN.

Like Fanjo, I too had a horrible experience with a toddler group, and after trying for a few weeks, gave up and left. I have since heard complaints from other people about the same group.

My advice? Keep looking and trying groups out until you find a group that suits you - ask at the local SN school? They might have a list of groups, or try a local sports centre, there might be a sports-based group to join, and also try the HE route as Riven says.

Meerkats not in notts but sounds like the same group

Riven nothing in my area honest...

the group does everything SN like swimming/judo/trampolining/football...so cant escape them

Sport centres only allow dc at age 7yrs so does cubs etc got another 2 years to go...

some of the dc at SN group are far more able than ds (asd) in communication/social/skills etc....so its not my sn kid is better than yours etc...

I sometimes am unable to go for a few weeks then have weeks I can due to staff/duty changes....they are turning their backs when I go over to speak to them...my money/or presence is not wanted so will find something else hopefully...it's sad as ds got used to the dc who are lovely (shame about the mums ).