!st visit to CAMHS with DS2

[starfish71]

I am feeling really depressed, it went ok but going through all of DS's 'quirks' etc has just left me felling depressed and wanting to hide under the duvet with a glass of wine. Got another appt in 2 weeks - got to take DS with me again. Not nice talking about him in front of him even if he isn't taking it in if you know what I mean. I really feel I don't want to go again to be honest but I will go because I want the best support for DS but its not nice. Sorry know its not the end of the world but suddenly it all seems a bit too real. x

You are every right to feel that way, many of us feel that way when we hear , talk, even read reports from professionals about our dc problems and issues even when we knew it was coming. It's weird isn'it but i know i want the professionals to see what we see and when they do it still feels like a ton of bricks hits me.
I'm so apprehensive each time we have an appointment.

I agree with you it's not nice to talk about him in front of him. I feel exactly the same.
Even if i know DS doesn't understand half of what we say or even doesn't pay attention, i feel he understand we are there talking about him.
But it's all necessary, you are doing what is right to get him the help he deserves. Give yourself a bit of time and a pat on the back.

I'm surprised they haven't offered an appointment for you to discuss things more freely without your DS present. It's something that was offered for me as it was clear that it wasn't helping DS to hear people talking about him like that, and he didn't need to be there for that bit. He was 9 by then though, so clearly able to understand. Is it something you could request? Or you could put some of things on paper and give it to them so that he doesn't have to hear.

I wrote list of my ds's quirks and handed them over straight away as soon as we wwalked into the interview room found she sat reading that more than talking asking questions directly about Lewis as im the same hate talking about him in front of him..also found she observed him loads as well x

I know the feeling, had our 2nd appointment with CAMHS yesterday and i must say i felt the 2nd appointment went much better than the 1st. The 1st appointment i felt the spotlight was very much on me and my parenting skills.

The 2nd appointment was much more helpful as they focused on ds and what help they would be able to offer.

I have told them i dont like talking about ds in front of him and we have 5 more weekly appointments booked. Next appointment will be ds on his own. The following week ds will go off into one room, while i go into another to discuss ds and future appointments will work in the same way.

Thank you all so much for your support and advice. I think I will do some jotting down of other issues before the next appointment as Janmum suggested and hand it to him when we go in. Have told DH that I want him to come to next appt. I am hoping that the 2nd appt goes better and I won't feel quite so sick. Getting ready for school this morning - we have a visual timetable on fridge (am trying to remember to use it every day) and after brushing teeth there was a picture of school, DS2 kept taking it off and putting up the hospital picture! Maybe he didn't find it as bad as I did yesterday! So that did make me smile a bit this morning though talking to DS2's teacher this morn and asking (again) for him home/school book to be brought home it does feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall with school and well I am glad to hear DS2 is happy in school - its about more than that isn't it? Thank you again x