dd2 newly diagnosised with asd - a little lost

[lovecamping]

hello, i'm new to this topic but i'm feeling a little lost and not sure where to turn.

my dd2 has just been diagnosised with asd and although it is not a complete surprise i'm feeling a little lost.

what should i do next?

How old is your DS2?

My Ds2 was dx when he was 2, and although we knew it, it still came as a shock.

Did the people who DX him give you any information? We were given a book, nothing else, wasn't very helpful. I found that speaking to other parents who have similar children helped more than any professionals did.

So, DLA, you can apply for this if you're not already doing so. Register yourself with NAS as well, or look on their website to see if there are any local groups to you.

How are you feeling, apart from shocked.

Hi

Welcome and how old is your DD?
Its hard that even though you know its still that feeling that now its confirmed there is no going back.

Sorry, just realised I put DS2 instead of DD2

dd2 is nearly 5yrs,very capable and independent.

i'm feeling sad, confused and not sure what our next step is. i want to cry but have no tears (which is a pain). i'm not sleeping or eating much.

dd2 also seems to be more quiet since starting school and whilst writing this post, she seems to be 'going into her own world'. i'm probably wrong and she's just probably tired from school.
there also alot of stuff going through mind ....

Hello and welcome lovecamping. I'm new-ish and have a recently diagnosed DS aged 2 (ASD)

You'll get lots of advice and support here, everyone is lovely

Its hard, and you will feel lost for a while, I completely felt lost, as i had spent so long fighting, and suddenly had what i needed.
Are school good support? What about family? In my experience my DD gets worse on a school day and especially after school holidays.

Have you got any books to read?
Just take your time to get head around it. I try not to think too far ahead because its too much for us at the moment. Have a time to sit down and think what you need as a family and what she need herself then decide to tackle one thing at a time

HTH

we knew there was something from about 2 years and then she just did not settle in nursery. since turning 4yrs she has come on in leaps and bounds. enough for me to feel that its okay - she is just different and i like different. however because she can be very active and was disprutive in nursery we felt it was right to get her assessed (just in case). during the assessment, the diagnosise explained her behaviour really well. she has problems with social bounderies and understanding other people's point of view. she's also very loud.

to me she's just my little girl. but its so hard having to be positive all the time. so many things are in her favour but she still has asd.

i'm sorry,i'm not very articulate at the moment.

school are very supportive and so are family, friends are great but they just dont know what its like.

haven't looked at books yet. maybe still too soon. got a followup appt in 6 weeks so will ask more questions then but i'm not even sure what questions to ask.

I felt like you last year when my DD2 was diagnosed. You do need to go through a kind of grieving process, it's okay, it's healthy

You've been through the hardest part, the not knowing. Now you can get your daughter the help she needs, if any, and you are better equipped to cope with her and understand her better. Things will be better from now on xxx

I have more to say, but have to go to bed - I'll try to get back on tomorrow.

sazisi, i have so many questions for you?? i, as yet donot know anyone who has a dd with asd.

how old is yr dd2? how many children do you have? there are more but dont want to offend.

many thanks

Ask away, I won't be offended.

Roisin will be 5 on Monday. I have 3 daughters.

Her diagnosis is Asperger's Syndrome, it sounds like your dd is similar? Or one of the high-functioning varieties of autism anyway?

It has been a relief just knowing, and knowing that she can't help aspects of her behaviour, and that we weren't doing something wrong, or hadn't 'ruined' her by having DD3 or something .
DH and I are much more accepting of her now, post-diagnosis - it really is such a positive thing.

Hi, i have 2 dd's on the spectrum, dd1 (6) has Aspergers and Dd2 (4) has ASD/HFA.

Please feel free to ask any questions, hopefully we can help .

Hi

It gets better - the yuck feeling although there are still days . . .

Do things to escape - read trashy novels and make sure you go out once a week just you and do something different.

Also, your little girl is just that - still a lovely little girl with a bit of an add on extra. Have fun with her and enjoy her and don't let other people stress you out about her. I would also be judicial about to whom you tell the diagnosis. You need to protect yourself at the moment and part of that is escaping from other peoples' reactions which are usually crass ('does he do parties?' goes down in history with me).

With the negatives come positives. The obsessions will pass and change. She can be taught lots of things and will be fine. I used to wonder if mine would ever stop having screaming tantrums. He's now an affable fairly easy going fellow - a real gentle giant.

Best of luck.

Thank you everyone for this. it's a real comfort to know there is somewhere i can go.

dd2 was diagnosised with asd on tuesday but they didn't say much more than that. i've got a follow up appt in 6 weeks time so i have the chance to ask them more questions.
I think its HFA. they said it wasn't aspergers at the moment is because she doesnt have a overriding interest in something. Can you have aspergers without an overriding interest in something?
I was told that it is an advantage because she's a girl and naturally more socialable and more advanced. Is this true?

should i go on a post-diagnosis course on ASD?
what books should i be reading?
should i wait for the outcome from the follow up appt before i do anything?

when does the crying stop?????

lovecamping- dd1 has aspergers and has no overriding intersetst, she is interested in lots of things (reading, the planet, dinosaurs) but doesn't focus on one thing.

Dd2 has ASD (we think HFA), the difference between the dd's is mainly language, dd1 has very good language and dd2 has poor language skills and poor communication skills.

'I was told that it is an advantage because she's a girl and naturally more socialable and more advanced. Is this true?'

Yes, Girls tend to cover up their traits to fit in with other people, they kind of learn how they should/shouldn't behave around others to fit in. Girls are more sociable than boys, dd1 is very sociable and gets on well with other people (although some times she as bit too sociable).

Get in contact with NAS (National Autistic society), they have a great web site and provide info, they also hold courses and confrences.

Hey there. Only got a mo, so i'll be quick. Regarding where to go next in my experience you are given an early support family pack with info about asd and where to go etc. But because she is at school it may be that it is no longer and early years area. But the asd book is very helpful as is a lot of the stuff from early support. Not what expect from child, what to do etc. but practical stuff, check it out publications.everychildmatters.gov.uk/default.aspx?PageFunction=productdetails&PageMode=publi cations&ProductId=ES12

All the best