adhd, add and odd

[devientenigma]

My 12yo dd has adhd, add and odd. Does anyone know how I can make her take control of her own life/resposibilities??

Find out what motivates her personally, not what motivates other kids or what you expect should motivate her - she has to have a reason to self-manage that makes sense to her and makes her want to do it. There have to be outcomes that SHE wants, not other people.

Set SMART goals and review them regularly. Find ways you can support her to make them happen - look for ways of bringing about success. Be VERY patient - this sort of change won't come overnight and will likely take years before she can consistently look after herself to a practical degree. There will be peaks and troughs of progress as she finds her way.

Remember though, that disorganisation is part and parcel of ADHD and she will genuinely be struggling with self-management. And it's not necessarily an ADHD thing - most 12 year olds would be having a hard time with getting themselves organised. You need to have realistic expectations of what she can manage without support and where she needs a bit (or a lot) of help.