family therapy

[devientenigma]

We are going away for a weekend. Social services have provided us with a log cabin in a known disabled holiday centre.
My son won't like any of the activites they have to offer. Anyway we have decided it should be time to renew our batteries and get a focus on our lives to try and bring about change.
My son for those who don't know me is nearly 9, SLD, down syndrome, heart condition, SPD etc etc. We are also taking our 12 yo daughter who is nt? apart from ADHD and ODD. Does anyone know of any exercises/activities we can do as a family to try to bring us back together. Air our feelings etc.
Life at home is quite tough ( as all of our lives are). Homelife seems to revolve around our sons rituals, routines and severe challenging behaviour.
Please help. TIA x

don't have much knowledge of family therapy, only thing that springs to mind is whether your DD might have any access to siblings type groups for siblings of disabled kids? from my memory of being 12, I would sometimes feel very embarassed at discussing personal things with my family - so she might find it hard to open up.

Hope the weekend goes OK for you all.

Hope you enjoy the weekend, sometimes just being in the fresh air, being together without the daily distractions of the phone, computer etc is good enough, a walk in the woods & a little chat with dd while walking.

Just take a football or a kite (& scarves & hats)

Can you hire bikes, we have used a bike with a big trailer thing on the back that we strapped ds2 in to.

Does the centre have a pool or a hot tub.

I'm going to look in to a sibs group for my ds1 & we are also going away in a cabin (aiming high funded) at the end of Feb so will be intersted to hear how you get on.

Oh... just remembered... ds1 (the nt one) was involved in a care group at school & they had a speaking pole.

Basically it was a mini totem pole that they held, it was passed around the group, when you are holding it you ahve to say something that makes you happy & something that makes you less happy. The kids were younger than your dd (about 8 or 9) but it may be worth a go, as long as you keep it fun & you & ds join in, it may be worth a try.
The therapist said the kids mainly just said trivial things like disliking monster munch & sprouts, but every so often one of them would share something a lttle more sensitive.

At the end of each session if the child would be asked to put their likes & dislikes in order of importance & they could then talk about them further.

Sorry meant you & dh join in.

Your son may surprise you! Mind has participated in things I would never have thought possible recently. And benefited as well - he's always calmer after activity.

If he really doesn't want to do the activities then agree - take the time for a walk together etc.

Thanks for the replies.
I realise you are anon and you like it lol. But I am curious to know if you are in the same LA as me...with going to an aiming high funded lodge!!! Or has many LA's done this with the aiming high funding!!! TIA.

I have managed to get a family therapy appointment! (probably only one though). it is not until the beginning of March but I will post about it if I glean anything useful from it.

Devientenigma. I'm in Suffolk, the lodge we are going to is at Fritton Lake on the Somerleyton Estate (have a google its lovely)

If all councils do the same we could do Holiday Swaps! Where are you?

Actually I don't anticipate DS2 going out of the lodge much, he hates leaving the house & is getting too big to carry to the car now.
Its more a change of scenery for the rest of us & ds1 is taking his fidhing rod & golf clubs.
Me, I'm just going to laze about

Hi all, we've been on our short break. To Calvert Trust Kielder. The lodge was fantastic (also had use of a dishwasher which I don't have at home) Quiet, warm and all on one level (son uses a stairlift at home!!). Pool CLOSED!!! However we had adventure after adventure. Getting there my hubby forgot to fill the car so started running low on petrol....just made it after going to a few closed garages!!! Next day we set out for more petrol...plugged the nearest into the sat nav....got there....closed. Went to the next nearest....closed!! On our way to the third, ran out in the middle of nowhere. No mobile signal!!! Hubby spotted a house and went over for the rac number...he came back with a tank of petrol. Went on to the next garage and filled up the car. Ended up driving around looking at sheep and cows etc.
Then went back to the lodge. Tried talking the kids into doing archery for the next few hours to no avail. Borrowed some dvd's..though HSM was on repeatedly so no change there. Went to bed..up all night, son being sick!! washed and dried numerous bedding and clothes.
The next day we thought we would see how he went. He needs oxygen when ill (due to heart condition) the nearest hospital was 30 mile away. By tea time he hadn't picked up so thought we would take him for a drive(which he loves being in the car). I forgot my purse so hubby was straight in reverse, doing at least 90 lol, straight over a stone and pop went the wheel....no spare on a Touran. Went to reception to phone the RAC and after a few hours was told it's hard to get a wheel for my car we will have to have a tow home!! holiday ended!!
This wasn't all that went wrong though. I was supposed to have help Mon and Thur PM...no show!! Also Wednesday for a hospital appointment...late as no show again!!!
Anon, I'm in North Tyneside I think Holiday swaps is an excellent idea!! Are you part of a steering group for aiming high/together for disabled children??
Wiggly that would be great to hear about you app for family therapy
Hope everyone else's half term was as fun as mine!!!
Take care x

P.S forgot to mention no mobile signal or internet connection so no MSN or facebook or text!!! 1 bored daughter and withdrawal symptons for me!! lol x

devient, you sound like it was non stop. I'm not on the steering group but I recieved an email last week inviting us to get involved.

TBH other than the lodge i've not seen any benefits locally, it just seesm to be a very expensive website listing the clubs that were available before aiminhg high & there admin is crap.
We received 3 newsletters & Half term brochures last month but have not received our lodge info that I asked for.

Maybe we should suggest the holiday swaps .

Their not there