noticing emotions in others & asd???

[sodit]

ds1 3.6 has speech delay and maybe asd (still hmm on that one) . He has starting noticing if I am cross with him (usually very obvious) as it is only in the mornings when I am trying to get him ready for nursery whilst he eats 1 cornflake at a time.
But today we were driving to nursery and the roads were very slippery so i was concentrating on that but still talking to him but not as much. He kept asking mumma hahee which is his way of saying mummy be happy. I was saying yes mummy happy but it struck me that he was able to notice the quite subtle difference. Normally he noticies when it is obvious I am not happy and never asks when I am happy so he is asking at the right time.
Was wondering do your dc with asd notice any differences as I am on the is he isnt he wibble

Sodit I've been wondering just the same thing. DS (5, mild aspergers)notices mood changes in me as well and also if children in his class are happy, sad, shy etc. When he was diagnosed (at three) this is something I thought he would NEVER be able to do, so it's a surprise (a very nice one!) that he can.

Yes, my ds is asd and is the most noticing of my moods of all my three children.

Ipersonally think the empathy thing (along with eye contact and SOH) thing with asd is over exagerated into bunkum.

For ds1 it worls that he notices and awareof other peoplesmoods sometimes9at others I could be crying and he wouldn't) but he registers as it how i works in his world,IYKWIM: he has a recognition how I feelis relevant to him.OTOH if he doesn't have that link with another person......

DS3 constantly goes on about happy-even socks get rejected if the face isn'tseeming happy.With him I amrealising that its becuase he dosn't have moods as sucj,and he finds other peoples sadness and his own (always inicdent-linked) when it happens to be scary, perhaps unpredictable?

Frommy own pespective as an Undx'd but pretty certain Aspie,I amawareof other peoplesmoods but often don't show that as I wouldn't know how to repsond too effectively, and that may make me look uncaring or even unnoticing. In fact the reverse: Iam the one oten trying to sort things out (eg when someone I knew lost her job after her DP went I had a deep chat with dh about whether we could offer to ahve her child sometimes so she could work,though ds1wasn't having it). I am incredibly solution-focused though which sometimes looks as if I ahve no empathy but really is just the way I am built.

ds1 does have a set list of things to do to cheer me up if i am not happy which he does in the same order. I have tested him and waited to see what happens when he comes to the end of the list and he just invents something and adss it to the list. Its like he follows his own flow chart in his head ah mummy not happy got to option 1 etc. He has expressed when he is happy and sad but it is very rare and usually he has to be asked.
I guess as he is so young i didnt expect it, maybe he will be like your ds nikos and be more aware of things like that.

DS2 gets very upset if I am upset and worries if his brother or sister are sad.

I think the 'lack of empathy' thing is over egged too.

DS1 who is 4yo and most likely has aspergeres doesnt seem to notice other peoples emotions at all.
He does notice sad moments in tv shows and films though due to the sad music. he has even just started crying when he watches 'sad' bits.
I hope he does start to be able to pick up on other peoples moods in RL at some point.

Firelighter I hope you dont mind me asking - but how hard did you find it to get a diagnosis at just 3yo if your DS has mild aspergeres?
DS1 is nearly at the end of the diagnosis journey after about a year. He has a multi disciplinary assessment in June for final answers. They think (and I do too) mild ASD/Aspergers, but say it could go either way as he is mild and coping ok at pre school so far...

allaboutme within 6 weeks of DS starting pre-school his teacher told us she suspected he was on the autistic spectrum, we made appointment with GP who referred us to paediatrician, who diagnosed mild aspergers after a three hour assessment. It was all a massive shock at the time as it all happened so quickly (about 4 months from teacher telling us to diagnosis)but am very glad of dx now as it has really put a rocket under the school who have so far pulled out all the stops with him. It seems to vary so much as to the route/methods used to diagnose doesn't it? DS saw just one person, yet you mention a multi disciplinary assessment. Good luck with it all.

DS is 4, mild asd, he does notice emotions and moods when they are obvious, such as happy when smiling, sad when crying, and angry when shouting. However he never talks or uses words to express moods and emotions.
Sutle stuff like shyness, worried, annoyance,... he has trouble picking up. The more subtle the signs the less he sees it.
He also gets easily confused by facial expressions and body language, sometimes he starts to scream and totally panic if DH pretends to want to get him while playing.