OMG nightmare with school

[debs40]

OMG OMG I am soooooo angry and upset

Things have progressed but not in a good way from last week's meeting.

We had an Early Bird plus visit to the school on Monday. Teachers were not willing to attend so the TA had to sit there saying ?I?ll make a note and pass it on? or ?no we don?t do that? etc. She was very frank about it and the EBP woman was really taken aback, discussing strategies with a TA that have no chance of application.

I emailed SENCO, as I have been trying to keep a record of everything by sending in requests by email, with a list of requests following the meeting. For example, they have not specified the nature and type of provision etc.

I then copied in the head who did a curt little response saying we should have a meeting with all teaching staff. That is her way though. I responded saying unless she felt very confident of her staff?s knowledge of DS'problems, it was best to do this after the ASD outreach team had been in. I also explained why we had been asking so many questions and that it was very difficult for parents placed in this position as the SEN system meant you were battling your own school for provision

Her response was to agree postpone the meeting but then tell me that I should stop emailing the teachers who were getting anxious and I was causing stress and she had to protect their well-being!!

OMG I?m furious. I only email to report occasional things regarding DS (e.g. he is having problems dressing himself) because they don?t always read the home/school book. The fact is they haven't a clye why this is necessary.

The other ?official? emails to SENCO are copied to the class teachers so they know what is going on. I have spoken to both to apologise for this and they have said ?fine, it?s good to be kept in the loop?.

That is outrageous!!!
Honeslt,y the stories I hear on MN just get worse and worse.Are you intouch with SNAP?

Time to join the "paranoid parent club" then as that is obviously what the head thinks you are by the sound of it. Don't worry I am in the same club and probably many other parents who have had to battle school are too. However in reality we are perfectly normal concerned parents with legitimate concerns about our children. Look for a different school because you have no chance of getting any help at the one your child is currently at.

Oh debs, that is crap.

What have you responded with?

It's not your job to make life easier for the teachers, tbh (and I say this as a teacher) - it's your job to make life at school better for ds and I would also say that emailing things that give the teachers a better knowledge of ds will help them too!

Don't feel bad - the head should be. Ask her what her better idea is for communicating ds's needs then?

www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Resources/CLC/Documents/PDF%20N-Z/Right%20to%20education%20final%20copy .pdf

Thought you may like to read this debs.

Thanks guys....you stop me going mad!!!

Wasuup that is a great document. I will read that. I have just noted the bit that says

"a lack of suitable education
provision has been found to particularly apply to children with Asperger
Syndrome and autism, which is estimated to affect a large number of children
in England". mmmm, aint that the truth.

I think she is being really silly and personal. I replied telling her I was very shocked by her suggestion that I was affecting the well-being of her staff - er what about my son?? - and explaining why and when I used emails.

Anyway, I am now dropping off a letter to school to ask her to see me on the date she originally arranged, face to face, me and her ....... not her and her gang..... hold my coat

They are institutional bullies....

They are certainly institutional bullies! Thats a good way to describe my experiences too! []

TBH Debs I think you'll expend too much energy trying to get these ho-hopers to acknowledge and support your child to no avail - and that's energy that could be channeled better elsewhere.

If it were me I would initiate a request for SA and find him another more supportive school. It's clear that his current school is rotten to the core

Cut your losses.

Best wishes

I know, I know you are right. But he loves his friends and likes going to school. It is not easy unless you find somewhere better. There are lots of crap schools out there!

I have got a couple of recommendations from DS2's nursery owner who used to be a primary head locally. I will follow those up.

Oh yes, I remember this one, being told by the head that I was causing staff anxiety (staff seemed totally unaware of any anxiety caused). It's a standard trick to make you feel guilty and back off. No doubt you are causing the head anxiety- and so you bloody well should be!

We have the ASD assessment starting in March and I do want to apply for a Statutory Assessment but do I need to get professionals to indicate they think one would be of assistance?

Hi Debs,

When you apply for the Statutory Assessment the first task (which can be a battle in its own right) is to get the LEA in question to agree to assessment. You will need to write to the Chief Education Officer at your LEA (the council offices will tell you the name) and give them six weeks to reply. They may well say no at this stage so then you appeal their crass decision.

Once this has been achieved (i.e the LEA agreeing to assess) then the LEA write to the various professionals involved with your child (e.g SALT if applicable, the ASD assessment team etc) and ask them for reports. They then write back to the LEA giving their recommendations.

This all takes time, it can take around 6 months for a statement to be set up and that is also if it is straight forward without undue delays and the LEA faffing about with the content let alone you disagreeing with the contents of Parts 2 and 3.

Broken record time Debs but apply for the Statement now, March is not far off anyway.

On a much wider level I know of some good Solicitors who specialise in educational law!.

I did get an emailed apology today for distressing me and she suggested I contact parent partnership.

I have to say I was not very magnanimous which was unlike me. I said it was completely inappropriate to make personal comments and accuse me of a lack of consideration for adult professionals when this matter concerned a child and when I had never complained or citicised but had always been careful to encourage. Plus, emails proved necessary when the teachers were not reading the book or did not understand the point of it.

I think it has sunk in and I have a meeting with her after half term but how pointless and draining and you can't help feeling kicked when I've tried to be diplomatic.

I agree with wet august, some schools have a very poor understanding of SEN and their duties towards ensuring all children access appropriate education. We found that when we challenged poor practice the HT became defensive, hostile towards us and very reluctant to make any concessions to support our child. Your child hasnt the time to wait to see if the school has the skills or willingness to get their act together. We applied for a statutory assessment and changed schools. Everything is much better now. Good luck.

FlyingDuchess - I think you're right about PP. The woman I spoke to today was full of how it's impossible to apply for a SA until you've had at least 6 months or at best a year on a SA+ with your child failing.

These people constantly replace local practice for the law the whole time. And seem to have a 'oh it is very hard for schools - ASD children are tough' type approach

I spoke to ACE today who were great and their advice is apply for an SA but to get support from professionals and school where I can. Why is it I think that professionals will want to duck out of giving such support? They seem to be in constant conflict with the LA.

I really don't understand why teachers can't put up their hands and say 'sorry, don't know everything but will look into it'. I suppose they don't like to admit this but that it also creates more work.

You just have that feeling that nothing will ever be the same again. Lied to I can take - kind of - but personal abuse?

I think therein lies the problem with the emails too - they can be used as evidence that I have constantly asked for provision etc and been ignored. So we need to put a stop to them