"She has managed to get her two talking...." Now I feel like a real sh*t mother!

[Merlot]

Feeling low today...period due...weepy and tearful and I have been trying to understand what has sent me over the edge'. I've come to the conclusion that it was the following. I hope you dont mind me sharing it, but I feel that I need to get it off my chest'........So here goes!!!

On Saturday I met up with an acquaintance whose friend has two twins the same age as ds2 (22 months)....both of the twins were born very, very prematurely and the little boy, in particular has established brain damage and significant delay as a result .

The acquaintance and I were talking and I asked after her friend and children because I suspected that our paths might be crossing somewhere along the lines.. In particular I asked whether the twins had been learning Makaton. My acquaintance then delivered the almighty blow....with the words.."No, because my friend works really hard with them and actually she has got them talking...." I was so pleased for that mum, but so hacked off with my acquaintance....

An innocent enough remark....but to me...`SHE has got them talking..' is so f*cking loaded. And makes me feel particularly crappy...because I haven't got MINE talking

It was compounded when one of my friends (who is the specific classroom support for a little girl with Downs Syndrome) that the little girl was doing great....because her mum works so hard with her...and it has made all the difference with her speech. `Great stuff' but again I felt that because ds2 isnt babbling, let alone talking... she was making a judgement of me

Because my ds2 has no dx, we just dont know what is in store for him, but he is being tested for syndromes where there is never going to be any speech and so I wanted to shout from the roof tops that there are some children who will never speak....and its not due to the lack of trying from their mothers!! and oh so bloody sad

Sorry....rant over.....Grrrr!
Anyone else had to deal with these sort of comments?

!

you are mistaken, i own it, no need to work anymore

ROFL - Shall start calling you Madam Lou from now on then!

Jimjams it's just appalling isn't it? Some people do get caught on the treadmill of whinging about provision without considering how they could usefully contribute to making things better. Although we can't magic up non existent salts from thin air,believe me,letters of complaint are taken very seriously indeed.

Just talking to my colleague this afternoon who is running social skills groups imminently (everyone seems to assumes we holiday like teachers over the summer.) To date,she has had two replies to ten invitations sent out to people,most of whom love complaining about what we're not doing.

Davros,dear me,your post has really wrenched at my heart and conscience. Anything I say will sound so trite and banal but I would still like to add something,however gauche and inappropriate it is.

Like so many people on this thread,your fierce love,erudition and energy shine through in every post you write. What a fantastic example of motherhood you are. Head and shoulders above so many others.
Your offspring are truly blessed to have you.

I have learnt an enormous amount from all of you here,both as a salt and as a parent of a child with a comm disorder.
The breadth of your collective knowledge and informed opinion is truly astounding.

I'm beginning to think more and more that a vital part of any therapeutic approach is to acknowledge and accept people how they are,to do and enjoy the things they want to,broadly speaking on their own terms.

Oh dear, I've been out all day and just logging on for an update. Sorry if I depressed everyone earlier! Still, got me some lovely comments, thanks Mizmiz
MERLOT, how are YOU feeling? And Jenk and everyone? Not only a hug, a GROUP hug!! []