Things people say that make you laugh or [hmm]

[lou031205]

Pre-school Mum: Why do you pick DD up early?
Me: She doesn't cope with the ending of P-S.
Her: But she's bright, isn't she? She did a solo at Christmas...
Me:Yes
Her: Which school did you get?
Me:Special school.
Her: Reallly??!! Does she know colours?
Me: Yes
Her: Numbers?
Me:...Yes...
Her: Days of the week?
Me:Not a clue.
Her: Looks confused...

Today, same Mum:

Overhears DD saying "That's Lucy's car"
P-S Mum: She knew that was Lucy's mum's car
Me: Yes, she knows the cars
Her: See, she's quite bright!
Me: Yes, it's odd isn't it?

I think she is struggling to accept that a child can be bright and have SNs requiring 1:1

can I share this even if it isn't really right for this thread but is funny.
dd was very small and I took her into a newsagents, she was in her sn buggy and there was que.
a small girl came up to us......

small girl"can she walk"
me "no"
small girl "can she talk"

small girl"can she......................

whisper?"

cue me falling nad the rest of the shop lol

when we first got dd's wheelchair we had a spate of people suggesting that she'd be playing wheelchair basketball or competing in the paralympics next . Yes, cos all wheelchair users are natural born athletes.

2shoes, that's actually quite cute. I kind of like little children cos they actually say what they're thinking. like the idea that whispering is like an inbetween stage between no talking and being able to talk.

When someone describes a professional who might potentially be involved with ds:

"S/he is VERY experienced."

Having met so many people thus described it fills me with trepidation. I just think "Not another bleedin' know-it-all who will treat me like a numpty because they're VERY experienced and obviously know more than I do."

Bitter, moi?

It's great isn't it

My usual answer is "Well, she's not experienced in MY son's autism" which doesn't tend to go down too well.

Difficult parent you see, hard to engage

My mother (makes it even more of a ) when I told her about dd's ASD dx : "She might be really good at numbers and things -you know, like that 'Rainman' "

FFS!

The most popular we've had so far in our short journey.

'but he looks at me!''but he likes a cuddle' these two from relatives
My well meaning mum recently said 'of yes he likes a cuddle because he is not severe, it's the severe ones who don't like affection'... (and slap forhead smilie), i put her right of course...

'he loves being with other kids, look he is running around with them' this at my sil 's wedding and friend at the park.

'but he looks normal' Grrr... i truely hate that one.

'what's he good at? maths?' Arghhhh!!!

LOL at all of these , even if they make me cringe when i hear them!

I have found that professionals and general public alike often seem only to know about two types of autism - VLFA (Very Low Functioning) - which they see as a nightmare scenario of constant head banging and screaming or EHFA (Extremely High Functioning) which they see as being obsessed with computing and better than all the world's mathematicians put together. The reality as we know is often in the middle ground where the child has mild/moderate language learning difficulty and needs extra help but that must sound a bit boring !. All the comments I've had have been orientated around the 'Can't be VLFA because.. ' or Can't be EHFA because..' People who talk about autism being a 'spectrum' are prone to this as obviously spectrum means two polar extremes with nothing in between.

Forgot this one very recent.

DS was toe-walking back and forth and humming.
Mum and me were looking at him, my dad suddendly says 'oh but all 4 years old like to do funny walks it's part of playing!'
My dad is one of the worst person always trying to 'normalise' the unusual things DS does. (dad doesn't want to think that DS has asd)

Starlight, they also like to take credits for things they haven't done have they?
I was going through the ever first report we got from paed, it said 'B is making progress with speech with the input of salt'....wtf!
At the time this was writtten, ds has had only five 30 mins sessions of salt. Hardly something to shout about.

the one that always make me laugh/cry is th e

"..its such a shame - he is such a handsome boy"

Presumeably if your child is disabled and ugly that is no biggy

My friend the other day saying "I'd love to look after your dd1" me: "why", I just think I oculd do a good job with her, I was the same as a child", me: "so i dont so a good job then" clue very friend!

My fav one is always "but she seems fine to me"!

ds 17 mo quad cp (mild)
FIL don't worry he'll grow out of it.
me and DH
from work collegues when i show them pictures
'wow he looks so normal, you really wouldn't know'
from a receptionist i see EVERY week 'is he walking yet?'

Mum in playground: Oh, so you had your children in your 40s too, like me?
Me: Um, yes
Mum: And remind me what's wrong with your little boy again?
Methrough gritted teeth) He has autism
Mum: Well of course I was so lucky with DS. I was old, like you, when I had him, I didn't have any of those tests and look at him! Perfectly normal!

The subtext to this conversation is that her child is probably the most difficult in the whole school . Which is why I laughed inwardly instead of thumping her!

Pag we get that a lot. DS is of course stunning to look at with a very cheeky smile. That alone should help me through the sleepless nights when he has smeared pooh all over his bed and wall and I can't see to clean it up as he has smashed his light up again. Still he is beautiful.

Council adaptation man: Why do you need stronger doors?
Me: because he kicks holes in them
CAM: Just tell him to stop
Me: Oh is that what you do, I've never tried that.

When we first told some friends he was autistic
oh you mean artistic, that's nice WTF

"he'll speak when he's ready". What a useful comment to make to a parent of a 3 year old with severe receptive/expressive delay. closely followed by "they all get their in the end". Um really?

But your DD can't be autistic, she's pretty enough to do modelling. Because Autism & beauty are mutually exclusive eh?

When DD puts holes in the doors/meltsdown - well you are obviously too soft on her she needs boundaries and punishments or she'll end up a yobbo. And of course, I let her carry on destroying my house on purpose...

With DS2 - when he's in his mac major - why do you baby him so much? err because if he's having a bad day he can't move, you melon!

From my friend (that I've known for 7 years!) - when told about DD's autism - but she speaks and she doesnt flap her hands...yeah, her stims involve pulling her eyelashes out and flicking her bellybutton...friend then says I didn't realise that was why she did those odd things....(slaps head emoticon)

A family member said to me "if your son had been brought up by a different mum he wouldnt be as bad" "my son has autism"
Also last week i met EP for the first time and she said "he speaks well,im not sure that an autistic unit would be best for him" (after seeing him for 10 mins,she also kept refering to him as "artistic" then corrected herself and said "of course some of THEM are artistic too"

The following is what an NHS staff member asked me on the subject of DS a couple of weeks ago. We were in the Minor assessment unit after having x-rays done as he had landed awkwardly on it in a PE lesson the day before:-

"Does he have ADHD or summat, he speaks funny".

I don't think this man knew the first thing about ADHD or any SEN for that matter.

Resisting the temptation to get very angry (after all this was early in the morning and I was more concerned about DS's arm to be honest) I just gave this idiot the 1000 yard stare and calmly explained, "no he has a speech delay". That shut him up.