Advice needed on school

[Chickpeas]

Hi
this is my first post but I see everyone here has a wealth of experience. Maybe someone can offer advice.

My son is diagnosed AS. He is nearly 8 and has 1:1 for 15 hours a week at school, He used to get 20 whichis the maximum the LEA here allow without transfer to a special school, but due to budget cuts yada yada..

Anyway, my son hates school, he would rather not go at all but he does and everyday he is upset by the other kids. He has had a long history of 'they bully me' but the school says 'oh, its only high spirits etc etc. He has come home with boot shaped bruises before and told me a kid knocked him down and then stamped on him. He had a witness to this but the headmaster poo pooed it all.
I have complained, cajoled, shouted, ranted etc etc but nothing gets done.
Yesterday, after I had seen his teacher in the morning about him crying after school, he came home with bruises on legs and back.
'They kicked and punched me while I was trying to escape' he said. These kids are in the INFANTS apparently. His 1;1 is away and he says she never helps him anyway as she is busy with the other kids.?? She is supposed to be his 1;1. Senco never there...always off ill been trying to get appnt with her for 1 month. Head is a twat, just ignores me.
What can I do?

Look for a specialist school?
My ds life in secondary was hell, school didn't give a toss, just lip service, wish we had moved him sooner, can't believe the battles we had been through. We couldn't change the system, so had to look elsewhere.
I really felt the school were against us even though he was coming back with bruises and blood showing he was so bullied coz he was different and disabled - until we moved him and now I feel that we are working towards the same goal, what a relief.
We found a school through gabbittas reference guide.

All of the above, and also immediately ring the school office and ask for the contact details of the governor who deals with safeguarding, failing that the Chair of Governors. [If they say they don't have them/won't give them out due to confidentiality, then leave your name and number and tell them to pass this to the Chair asking him to contact you very urgently on a safeguarding issue.]
Aside from the SN, the school is failing in their obligations to safeguard your child whilst he is there. They might refer to it as child protection.
Any of the above suggestions might pan out into something really positive, but you also need to kick up for tomorrow unless you're going to keep him off school (for which I wouldn't slate you).

Hello chickpeas.I know exactly where you are- not only doweboth have AS sons, mine has had shoe shaped bruises before. bloody horrid isn't it? Twats heads and SENCO'snot unusualeither- one we have ATM is OK,last one- pfffffft.

TBH if you can, I agree with Riv. It'snot possible for us and wouldn't suit ds1 but I think it does work well for alot of kids with AS,even if only for a while to get their selfesteem back up and focus on their social skills.

Sometimes bullying ofAS kids is very real to them but a misunderstanding- in that they interpret things wrongly. Would be very doubtful that was the case formost incidentsmind and IME it always reflects a culture of bullying anyway, however that is certainly a way school have gotten out of accepting individualevents with ds1 and I know it happens as I have seen it with his brothers- DS2 brushes past and we get 'Owwww he pushed me' and he genuinely believes it.

Social communication and misreaidng peoples intentions I think.

Absolutely make some calls- peopleI have good results with are IPSEA, SOS!SEN, the NAS education line (they callyou back but are good- I get lots of print outs from their site as well to back up everything I say), and kidscapere the bullying.

your poor DS,hope he's OK soon. DS1 is 10 now and we hope to get him a aplcement at a specialist AS unit attahced to MS (he's in MS atm). The school had to pull the support they were providing recnetly leading tohimonly getting his statemented 10 hrs and a complete collapse- emergency review due soon. Although he's ill on the sofa today so at least he is getting a break. Also have a ds3 in a SNU with autism and tbh, he gets a much better deale ducationally.

I'd also suggest taking photos of the bruises as proof, and if you can get to a doctor, take him in so there's full evidence of his injuries. Poor boy.

I think there's a template letter on the ipsea website about schools not meeting statemented provision.

you could also put in a formal complaint to the school showing the photos - def take to docs for confirmation - and ask what action is to be taken so that it doesn't happen again. You could also copy it to your case worker who sorted the statement out ?

They have a legal obligation to provide the 1:1 for your son and if she is ill they have to provide cover, if they aren't then you can do a judical review with the LEA saying the school can't meet his needs.

good luck

Hi
thanks for all the advice. I cannot move my son to another school at the moment. I shopped around and all the others turned him down due to lack of spaces or provision for care. My son cannot get statemented here because the local authority refuse to statement on grounds of it being legally binding. The told me 'off the record' after a year of fighting for 1;1 that because there is no budget for SEN provision, they are in deficit, they won't statement because then they would have to provide help by law, which it is impossible to do and they would be sued. result - they don't statement.

I know they can't give a blanket statement like that, but I have a good relationship with some of the social workers. One of them actually cried when my son was turned down for help, she had worked so hard to try for him. Despite all the recommendations by Consultant, Ed psych, OT etc etc. it took a year of me fighting, in the end he got help. Strangely a day after I threatened legal action and to withdraw him from school. Funny that, what a coincidence!

If I move him, the help doesnt go with him, I have to start the whole process again. It is exhausting for me. My husband is Aspergers too and suffers from chronic depression. He cannot help with son as he cannot relate, they have a poor relationship. They are too distant from each other.He has been fired from his job for not declaring his disability and has been unemployed for 9 months now. I have Menieres and life is a struggle to say the least. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying most days. But I can't. I have to carry on. It seems the school are only concerned with academic profile of a child and because my son is easily able to do the work a year above him, they have transferred him to the part of his class that is the 8-9 years. He is 7. As he does not struggle with schoolwork they think he is ok. His teacher says 'he had a wonderful day - did all his work' He says ' it was terrible, i got picked on'. They don't believe him. He hates daily assembly. He spins or makes repetative noises (stimming) but they tell him off for it and withhold his breaktime if he doesn't sit down and shut up.
When the new senco came it got slightly better, she helped to get 1;1 and tried to get the school to understand. But she is only a part-timer and does other schools, also she is sick a lot (stress probably).

I think that unless you live with AS/D you really don't understand how it pervades every aspect of daily life. From the 2 hour breakfast cereal fiasco in the morning to the getting up 5 times a night to change nappies, beds, calm nightmares.

And spin city at the supermarket. The lights and intensity of noise and movement sets them off. People staring. Questions and - 'well he's just naughty' smack him! then he'll stop.

Hands up,Who else is worn into a thin crisp of their former self? (large show of hands)

Sorry to rant. Had a bad night. Got to wash some sheets now.

Bye