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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

i said i wouldnt go diagnosis if dd2 was happy and coping

14 replies

misdee · 03/02/2010 20:29

just had parent consultation evening.

eductation wise dd2 is fine.

socially she isnt. she isnt playing, and she seems sad in school. its like she has lost her sparkle.

i feel like crap. keep crying. how can my baby be so unhappy she loves/loved school, she just used to radiate happiness and sparkle. now she doesnt. she seems down.

dont know what to do. need to digest this information and decide the next step.

OP posts:

5inthebed · 03/02/2010 20:38

Have school suggested anything they can do to help her? If you are against a dx, maybe they can help her socialise?

onlyjoking9329 · 03/02/2010 20:39

have you spoken to the SENCO?

onlyjoking9329 · 03/02/2010 20:41

can you get a referal via the doctor and get an assessment that way?
sorry she is finding it tough

siblingrivalry · 03/02/2010 20:42

How old is she misdee?
I agree with 5 -at dd1's school, they can initiate 'friendship groups'. Do you think something like that might help.

I feel for you, I know how heartbreaking it is to feel so helpless.

Original poster

misdee · 03/02/2010 20:55

i had a chat with the senco a few weeks ago. they have started her i na social skills group, and they are trying to get her back to puzzle club.

she has just lost her dd2-ness that makes her her iyswim. i want my quirky happy girl back

OP posts:

Original poster

misdee · 03/02/2010 22:01

oh she is 7.

she is at 2b stage now, and still have a term and half left, and will probably be finishing in the 3's/

they are worried as she just isnt herself atm.

OP posts:

5inthebed · 03/02/2010 22:02

The social skills group might take a while to work, most things with children with an ASD do take longer. It's good though that the school are able to allow this. Some schools wouldn't do it without a statement.

Not sure what else to suggest as DS2 had an early dx so never had to do school without additional support.

Does she have any friends that you could invite back for dinner, or would that just be too hard atm?

Original poster

misdee · 03/02/2010 22:06

atm my house is too upsdei down to have other kids here. we are waiting on some building work to be done, then it wil lbe safe.

we are inviting 3 children out for a combined birthday thing i na fortnight, so she is deciding on who to ask.

one lovely mum invites dd2 round to play with her dd1, as her dd2 and my dd3 are friends. if that makes sense. so she has both girls to play over with her two.

OP posts:

siblingrivalry · 03/02/2010 22:15

DD2 does have friends over or visits friends, but it tends to be her 'best friend' and I aim to keep the visits relatively short, before dd starts to crave a bit of space. Could you maybe meet up somewhere like a park, which is neutral territory and you can escape if your dd is finding it a bit much?

Also, the main reason I asked your dd's age is because I had a funny feeling she would be around 7. This is the age when my dd also seemed to temporarily lose a lot of her sparkle and I have spoken to other parents with similar experiences.

I'm certainly no expert, but imvho, it is around this age when children are becoming more aware of themselves and how the fit (or don't fit ) in with their peers. My dd started to feel stressed as her school workload increased and as expectations on her at school grew (such as being more independent/assertive/organised).

I also agree that results from the social group may take a while to become apparent - it takes a looooot of repetition before my dd latches on to new concepts.

backtolingle · 04/02/2010 09:23

silly question but can she tell you what's wrong?

Original poster

misdee · 04/02/2010 09:50

you havwe to really delve deep to get dd2 to say whats wrong. we had a chat this morning, and i told her (and other dd's as well) that they can tell me anything thats worrying them. she did say she was having problems with some year one boys who were being horrible to her, but she says they have stopped now. she just seems so down, and not herself.

we are going to the book fair afterschool for a bit of book-retail-therepy. i spotted some puppy place books there which she loves, and will keep her happy and focused for a little while.

OP posts:

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 04/02/2010 11:31

do you want o borrow my feelings books? Can properly get D to drop them to you tomorrow
call if you need to chat

Original poster

misdee · 04/02/2010 12:58

thanks for all your replies.

we are going to go for some more one2one time with me and dh, do some reinforcing of happier stuff, and try to make her see its ok to cry and let your feelings out and not to bottle them up.

i think atm, a diagnosis wouldnt be helpful, as it wont change who she is. she gets the support she needs in school and at home, and is generally a very secure happy girl.

will rethink if anything changes.

OP posts:

backtolingle · 04/02/2010 12:58

"she did say she was having problems with some year one boys who were being horrible to her"

that sort of thing can go deep.....

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