calling in CAHMS and social worker to see dd?
Bit of back story for those who haven't already been bored close to extinction by dd's troubles:
13yo dd has a painful chronic joint condition which means she sometimes is unable to sit up= has to have time off school
she has to follow a regime of pacing including occasional use of wheelchair, but dh and I have always done our best to ensure that she has as much independence as possible (e.g. allowed into town on her own when well enough)
during the last term, she was also very tired and started getting panic attacks at the start of the day as she felt she couldn't cope with getting up, also cutting herself because she couldn't cope with the stress of mornings
so we first asked for help from school counsellor and she referred to CAHMS/SS (they have a community team)
Lately dd has been off for about a fortnight, one day for panicking (which I declared honestly), then for back trouble (again, I told the school)
I saw the CAHMS/SS team at home and they basically seemed to be saying that they didn't know how to cope with this mix of medical and emotional so will refer dd to rehabilitation clinic (we're happy with this). I did my best to explain our situation; that we are basically a happy and well functioning family, but get very stressed about this situation, that we are very keen to trust dd and find her a generally mature person, but that the whole health/stress situation is putting spanners in the wheel.
Dd saw them today at school and came home really upset.
Basically, they wouldn't listen to her, they had the set idea that I am an over-protective mother and that dh isn't involved at all (just because I said he is not able to deal with the school run, being at work). They kept asking dd wouldn't it be nice if she was allowed to do things like go into town with her mates. Dd kept trying to say 'well I have been allowed to do that for years' and they just wouldn't listen. Oughtn't she to be allowed to do things in the household (dd was allowed to cook dinner long before her friends were allowed to make a cup of tea).
Also, because I mentioned that I was angry, purely in the context of dd's school refusal/stressful mornings, they have got us down as a dysfunctional family who spend all our time arguing.
They also told dd that this idea of pacing (which is what dd has been told to do by the doctors) is all wrong and that she must make herself believe she can do anything ( last time she tried that one she ended up with bursitis in both knees).
SO we're back where we were, I am a loony Munchausen mother and dd must learn to push against the pain as it's all in the mind anyway.
It seems I asked for this when I called in CAHMS. Because noone can possibly have a medical condition and emotional problems, can they?