Selective mutism

[Keepo]

Anybody with a child with SM it is being discussed on radio 2 and there is a progam on bbc tomorrow call My child won't speak.

bump only me then

Not only you! I've just found out that DS1 who has SLD, rarely speaks at school. The school think it's because he's on night sedation and a low dose of Rispiridone, no matter how many times I tell them that he talks non-stop at home and that he's on a behaviour chart at his afterschool club because he can't stop shouting! I have a feeling they just don't talk to him about his current obsessions, so he's bored and disengaged.

Maybe you should get them to watch the progam. Apparently it is becoming more and more common.

My oldest (Foster) Sister has DS and rarely communicates verbally tho is fully capable of speech and does talk to herself when she is upset.

DonkeyDerby could you record him (on your phone maybe) and play it to the school?

Umm, do they know what his current interests are?

I know a lady practitioner who has worked with dozens of SM young people. Christine Moran worked with my daughter who had SM for 9 months. TG is doing fine now and has blossomed beautifully. Christine is marvellous and works with young people and in schools for all sorts of emotional stuff. she can be contacted on 01494 766778

Thank you where is she based ?

I was on that radio programme today (the one with the barking dog!) as my daughter has SM. Are you getting any help?

I don't remember a barking dog ! We are not getting any help, although school has tried to get speech therapy for dd we were turned down due to being a low priority. They had an ed psychologist see her in reception who said she had SM. They told me she would grow out of it. There has been no sign of that so far.

I was also read out onthe show on the radio, my daughter is 18, ans we have many types of therapy... throughs CAMHS, but this was not until she was 9 or 10, and this experience was not good and almost hampered any other help that we would look for. We tried hypnotherapy, tono avail and the seniour school have been good in trying the sliding in process but as a teenager gets older the work aspect is difficult to fit in with 'therapy'

She is a very bright girl with the prspect of going to university but it wan be a struggle at times - SM can take over.

Good luck SHILL I often wonder how my dd will ever be independent.

my daughter still does not talk in school but has managed to get 14 GSCE's but there are times when you feel that we should get more help, keep on at them, CAMHS or shoever you are going through as you said they always seem to put you down on priority and when you get there are taken to something that seems to make you and your child feel awkward. With SM this is the last thing that you want - do you agree ?
We do not know the answers andit feels that they do not know anything either - apologies if i am rambling

There is an auther called Torey Hayden who has written some brilliant books on her time in SEN classes, most of her books have mutes in them thuy are interesting reads.

SHILL congrats to your daughter, one thing that our ed psych said was that SM children often have high IQs You are not rambling at all I know what you mean. I think the stress of SM is really underestimated. It is still so misunderstoond.

I was horrified by the women on the radio who had sent in a message to say she thought it was just "bad parenting". She said that she had just taught her kids to say "hello" to people and why didn't we do that. Well... Why didn't I think of that If only it was that simple.

thanks thecloudhopper will look into that.

she is veryinteresting as she has spent time studying mutes.

Please can you stop referring to children with selective mutism as "mutes" it is technically incorrect and I find it offensive. Torey doesn't write about children with selective mutism she writes about children with traumatic mutism who have quite often been neglected and abused. Selective mutism and Traumatic mutism are 2 different conditions with very different causes.

Oh for crying out loud it was a turn of phrase get a grip.I was only trying to help yes her books are about children who deside not to talk due to usually trauma but the priciples are just the same of getting children to talk irespective of what has made them not talk,and her research makes an interesting read.

She seems to take a different opproach to most.

Keepo, I hope you know by now that your daughter will not just grow out of it. If you can get hold of a copy of the Selective Mutism Resource Manual by Maggie Johnson and Alison Wintgens it is worth its weight in gold. It is quite expensive (£30-40 iirc) but absolutely definitely worth it. You can read it, show it to the school staff, and work out your own programme of therapy for her. You don't need a professional if you have that manual.

Keepo, I googled for the dialling code of that woman's phone number and it is Amersham/High Wycombe area. It looks like she uses EFT which is something I've been investigating and mean to learn more about to help my DD.

Get a grip yourself cloudhopper and I suggest perhaps learn to read a dictionary before you make offensive remarks again.

"mute
adj mute [mjuːt]
1 unable to speak; dumb. "

. Refraining from producing speech or vocal sound.
2.
a. Often Offensive Unable to speak.
b. Unable to vocalize, as certain animals.

1. Expressed without speech; unspoken: a mute appeal.
2. Law Refusing to plead when under arraignment.
3. Linguistics

a. Not pronounced; silent, as the e in the word house. b. Pronounced with a temporary stoppage of breath, as the sounds (p) and (b); plosive; stopped. n.

1. Often Offensive One who is incapable of speech.
2. Law A defendant who refuses to plead when under arraignment.
3. Music Any of various devices used to muffle or soften the tone of an instrument.
4. Linguistics

a. A silent letter. b. A plosive; a stop. tr.v. mut·ed, mut·ing, mutes

1. To soften or muffle the sound of.
2. To soften the tone, color, shade, or hue of.

uteness n.
Usage Note: In reference to people who are unable to speak, mute and deaf-mute are now often considered objectionable. The offense is due not only to the bluntness of these terms but also to the implication that a person who is incapable of oral speech is necessarily deprived of the use of language. In fact, many deaf people today communicate naturally and fully through the use of a sign language such as ASL, and no one who has witnessed such a conversation would ever think to call the participants mute. See Usage Note at deaf."

www.thefreedictionary.com/mute

O and children don't decide to not to talk they have an anxiety about talking which is not helped by getting them to talk but by reducing their anxiety.

Please have a look at www.selectivemutism.co.uk where you might learn something new.

Do you know I wasn't being rude or anything just used a word wrongly !!!! Crickey if you take offence at all the things that people call other people the you will never live your life, yes I was dull using the wrong terminology but it was not ment to be offensive. My nephew for example gets called handicaped just because he is in a wheelchair do I get offended no because she meens nothing by it.

Oh and wassup yes you lesson the anxiety 1st with an end goal of talking. That is what although not clearly enough I was trying to say.

With the end goal of them feeling comfortable in talking

Thanks everyone and thanks cloudhopper for trying to help. I think people get very sensitive about all this because we have to put up with so much misunderstanding from judgmetal people in every day life. Just this morning on the way home from school a new mum in dds class stopped me and asked what was wrong with my dd. I tried to explain despite what I said she said these things during the conversation :

"Oh, I suppose its a control thing is it"
"Sounds like she is just being naughty"
"Did something awful happen to her ?"
"Have you tried not answering for her ?"
"Maybe she would be better off in a school for deaf and mute kids"

So needless to say we do get sensitive about wording. However, I think it was lovely of you to suggest a book thank you.

Blessthismess I will get that resource on your advice. To be honest I have been hoping she would grow out of it. I guess it is easier for the school to stick their head in the sand

bumpity