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What is respite like....

7 replies

CardyMow · 29/01/2010 23:03

Autism Anglia have gone all when They asked when I last had a child free evening and I explained that it was before DD was born (early 98). They have told me that they will be out to see me next week to try to organise some form of respite, and that they are disgusted with SS for doing nothing to help me. What is respite like? DD I think would just about be OK (despite never having spent a night away from me), but I am very concerned how it would work for DS2, who will not even settle at his dad's house, the ONLY place he will be left is at school (and that took an age). How did everyone else feel about respite? I KNOW that with my own disability, I can't keep pushing on without occasional breaks, as the stress and work involved with looking after 3 DC's, 2 of whom have SN, is putting me into 'overload' and making my seizures worse, but I don't know if someone who doesn't know my DD & DS2 could cope with their...idiosynwhatever (word is eluding me!)...err...unusalness (not a real word, but YKWIM). Would they go together or seperately? Lots of questions, can't articulate them all...reassurance/handholding please!!

OP posts:
feelingbetter · 29/01/2010 23:16

Well, we have 2 lots of respite, both at home.
3 hrs a week with NCMA childminder (SS funded) and 10hr overnight from community nursing team.
When weather picks up a bit (if ever) childminder can take DS out and is insured to take him to her own home, but at the mo she just stays at ours. We are very happy with her.

Grab whatever you can get with both hands, then go about getting some more (bloody SS )
I was unsure at first (well, more accurately I was certain I'd never trust anyone to look after my PFB) but now wonder how we ever managed without it!

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/01/2010 11:02

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cloelia · 30/01/2010 17:30

I agree with Starlight, get it in your own home and you can then gradually leave them to it. Be brave, it is SO worth it.

trace2 · 31/01/2010 09:03

we get day respite at a childminders no over night as they dont do it here till they are over 7 years!! make the best of it , you need it!!

5inthebed · 31/01/2010 09:11

I don't get overnight respite, as DS2 only 4 and won't get it until he is 6 (?). I do get something called shared care though, where DS2 goes to a foster carers house for 6 hours a week. We only get this during holidays though. It is a godsend. I hated the idea at first, felt like I was pushing ds2 out but he loves going there and I can do some stuff with ds1+2.

So it will feel odd at first, but you will get used to it and you will ALL benefit from it. Go for it!

CardyMow · 31/01/2010 18:08

Maybe it'll be easier now DS2 is 6yo? Maybe that's why nothing was done before? Don't know though. Part of me is happy as I might get to spend some time with DS1 (who really needs it atm) and the other part of me is a bit...err...feeling like I'm 'getting rid of them'....

OP posts:
5inthebed · 31/01/2010 18:36

Thats how I felt as well, but DS2 has had a few visits, and it is nice to have some time with my other kids. It sounds awful that, but it's impossible sometimes to have that.

When I had my last paed appointment he said he would refer us to SS as he was amazed we didn't have one already, but didn't hear anything. It was only when I made my HV fill out a CAF form that something was done. According to the SW we were assigned not everyone is entitled to one as some people believe.

Not sure what Council you are under, is it North Tyne or Newcastle?

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