School meeting

[debs40]

I'm so cheesed off.

School have at last organised a meeting. I have got the OT to come. The community paediatrician says she will send someone. I'm going to see if Parent Partnership will attend too.

The IEP we have got is complete poo. For weaknesses, it says 'mumbles, lacks self esteem'. No mention of SCD or why there is an IEP. Targets include do morning routine independently - no strategy. And have adult conversation 10-15 minutes (measure of success (less handlicking/better eye contact). Community paed got that removed.

The IEP was handed to me at a meeting in November. I had chased to put this meeting in place. SALT had been and DS's teacher had said 'he's miles off SA+' (which he is on now) and I needed to get SENCO involved as the teachers were useless.

I had to ask at the meeting if DS was on the SEN register. I was told yes and handed the IEP. I asked when it had been drawn up and was told 'for the meeting'. Apart from targets etc, it was blank. The copy I have is dated October but now has entries going back to September.

Now backdating the IEP is not the end of the world - a lie yes - but so what? It erodes my trust but I can leave it at that.

However, I have set up this meeting because SENCO has not provided any social skills intervention for DS this team. As far as I can see, he is getting no additional assistance in any way.

I am tired of dragging out bits of informtion from them so I challenged them about keeping parents up to date in relation to SEN and progress.

I get the Deputy (who is SENCO) telling me that handing out new IEPs at parents evenings is standard practice so they are sorry it is not good enough for me. It was not at an parents evening but at a meeting I had to arrange and I had to drag them kicking and screaming to!

Senco also tells me that he is 'secure' in his knowledge of ASD as he worked in a school for autistic children. So why has he cut my son's social skills provision and not provided any assistance?

Is he saying he has no SCD?

I'm so mad but trying to be constructive saying we need to set fresh, appropriate goals and use the attendance of experts to do this. I don't want the meeting next week to be wasted in a tit-for-tat 'you said x but did y' etc. This will be pointless.

Mmm, just talked to teacher and it's all 'he's doing so well....' and about extra social skills groups - 'budgets are very tight'.

Hi Debs,

This school are truly crappy aren't they?. His IEP truly is the epitomy of its alternative name i.e "individual empty promise".

They are messing you around to my mind and its your DS who ultimately gets affected.

As for the budget being tight re extra social skills groups - actually that is not your problem.

BTW have you considered your DS attending another school?. I say this as this one cannot or will not meet his additional needs longer term. Senco is also shite and assumes a great deal.

I have moved him once before! But yes, I have considered moving him and I would do it.

We are looking at whether we want to stay in this area long term and need to sort that out before I move him.

He is happy but they don't understand him but the fact that he likes his friends and doesn't cry in the mornings makes the status quo manageable from his perspective!

I think I have got to the point where the trust has gone and unless we have a very constructive meeting, I will be making other plans.

The sad fact is, he doesn't need massive adjustments, just a bit of understanding.

Like today, again, despite telling SENCO and two teachers in the past, he has hot school dinners and gets chased to 'eat up', potentially undermining all the progress I'm making in getting him to try new meals.

I think they just think pushy middle class parent indulging a spoilt boy who wants to eat what he wants and doesn't say please and thank you or look at them when he's speaking!

I know what it is, he's not the worst in the class so why should we bother when we're not helping the others

But heh, SENCO is 'secure' in his knowledge of ASD, so that's fine then

"I think I have got to the point where the trust has gone ..."

Then there is no point in carrying on hoping that scholl will improve.

It seems to have very little concept of supporting SENs when it's content to dish out IEPs which misrepresent the date on which they were compiled - at the most inappropraite time - Parents evening!!

Boils down to 2 options:

1~ Wear yourself out trying to get this bunch of tossers to act 'reasonably' - while DS's needs are not met

2 Change schools (could another one be worse?)

But I would still initiate a request for a Stat Assess.

"Senco also tells me that he is 'secure' in his knowledge of ASD as he worked in a school for autistic children."

This is obviously one of those times when a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

They sound absolutely hopeless tbh. It would be more bearable if they would at least hold their hands up and say "We admit that we don't know what to do but we're willing to take advice and learn" but that's highly unlikely from what you've posted.

If there is any chance of getting a place at a different school I would go for that option tbh.

at the PMT comments! Bloody hell!

PND of course.

I keep thinking of that Donald Rumsfold ' we know what we do not know' quote.

You are dead right though. I have thought many times that the frustrating thing is that they won't say - we don't know what we're doing, we need a bit of help.

Instead, they nod and tell me they understand and do nothing.

It's not as if he needs alot of help. A bit of help with writing for example, a bit of extra support with communicating, a bit extra time?

No, he doesn't need any of that because he's doing really well and anyway, there are kids who are doing worse and we don't help them. They clearly think I'm askign for special privileges.

Bear in mind this is an 'outstanding' school.

We are thinking of moving elsewhere as my youngest is due to start in September and I am thinking er..no but changing schools to change again if we move out of the area would be very disrutpive.

Bless, DS though he says he likes 'hot dinners' and his friends. So it's not that he's unhappy. He's just not fulfilling his ootential.

Crikes Starlight - how outrageous!!

Yup, thinking that myself. It can't hurt can it?

Stat Ass - definitely!

Yeah, to put PND like that is just all judgey and non-helpful.

Thanks Star comments are very helpful as usual!