Thinking of going on holiday without dd2 one day...

[meltedmarsbars]

...what age do you think it appropriate to go on holiday without her?

We could take the other dc's

walking,
get onto a beach (ever tried a wheelchair on a beach?)
go and learn sailing?
on a narrowboat?
a horseriding holiday?

I was flicking through a Lonely Planet mag and realised that I'd love to go to all those places but was mentally ruling them out because of dd2.

Is is so unreasonable to go without her one day?
Would you?
Could you?

I would go, why not, if she is taken care of. You have other children to consider too, and people with NT children go away for weekedns ect often if they had people to help care. Go for it and have fun

I think I would consider it.

It's not currently an option for us, as we'd have nowhere to leave dd1 (no relatives who could help, and no respite at the moment), and on the whole, we muddle through ok, but dd1's needs are not as complex as your dd2's.

what we have done beofre, is to have a nanny/mother's help part time and take her along for weekends away etc, and are considering taking on a full time nanny to help out with RL issues really - so that we can just have days out with dd2 without dd1's issus overshadowing, and so that we can go on holiday and also have some time off too.

would that sort of thing be an option, if you feel that leaving your dd2 behind is too much? then you could combine a holiday with all of you with a few days out/trips where your other children are top priority (not suggesting they aren't normally, just mean days out without eh minute-by-minute planning and organisation!)

where would you leave your dd2? if you are arranging respite/other care then I'd say maybe a different age than if you were leaving with family/close friends (although as I said above, I have no respite now anyway, so who knows - maybe if it were offered I'd bite their hand off!)

dd1 is 5 now, and I'd consider going away for a short break without her if I knew she was completely happy.

I would and I have done. We have four kids, and there are a lot of things that we can't jsut jsut because there are 4 of them. Then we have to consider ds1 and his needs.

We've left him and dd with my parents and gone on holiday with the younger two twice. We could stay in a hotel rather than needing a villa, we could walk around all day and not worry about a wc, we could climb steps up towers, go on a boat, etc. My parents can manage him and dd fine, so we knew he was going to have fun too.

We also left all four of them once and went by ourselves.

Chops: By yourselves! Wow, I wouldn't know what to talk about with dh without the kids now!

Unfortunately Respite is the problem here too. There are no family members close by and anyway, none of them would take on dd2 for any longer than a couple of hours. My own mother said she'd "rather not" learn how to tube-feed when I offered to show her last summer. We do have some SS respite but it is very limited and on their terms, when they let you have it.

We are planning to go to a music festival with the other 2 over a weekend this summer and leave dd2 in Respite. SS don't know yet

So it is still a dream. But boy, don't those pics in the mags look enticing!

maybe you could do it year about? one year do the respite and the next year do an inclusive type holiday the whole family can enjoy?

we are off to the Calvert trust at easter where apparently ds can enjoy canoeing and abseiling in his wheelchair....cant wait to see how that works!!

i also send for all the inclusive holiday brochures and one day in the future plan to take him to Egypt to see the pyramids and the valley of the kings etc, twas my favourite ever holiday and i'd like him to see it too, although must remember not to go in july next time!!

glittery, the calvert trust really is fab! HOpe your ds enjoys it, my dd loved it, abseiled in wheelchair!
We have been for the odd night away (DH and me) without dd2; every year dd1 and I go away together with other relatives; but this year for first time, DH, dd1 and i are going on holiday at Easter and leaving dd2 at children's hospice. i think she will have great fun so am trying hard not to feel guilty. We have in the past had cottage holidays away and taken a teenager to entertain dd2, which was a good compromise, but now she is too dependent for this. Do not think dd2 could fly safely so those lovely brochures are just too tempting even to have in the house.

We too are limited to where we can go by car - no planes with dd2.

Maybe I'll make a list of where we'd like to go, what we'd like to do then see how feasible it would be in a 3 night respite stay - she doesn't go longer than that.

Cloelia - how long will your dd2 stay at the hospice?

we tend to drive more and more now, it is so much easier (and cheaper) than flying. This year we are planning to drive to Holland at Easter, and Italy and Austria in the summer, with ds1. It's a good 12 hours, but ds will be happy sitting in the back with his nintendo ds and some comic books!

-quick hijack-
meltedmarsbars - the bread pakoras were delicious!! I also found a recipe online which involved sanwiching mash with garlic and chilli between bread and battering that which I will try next time.

YES! We didn't have a holiday for 10 years. Once we had appropriate respite for DS we took DD on holiday. We saw his short stay at respite as "his" holiday. Now he is in residential we see it as "his" holiday when he comes home (he gets treated like a King and thoroughly enjoys himself!).

Davros - I suppose it is all about attitude to respite - whether it is seen as a treat or something to be endured?

Chops - they are NOT good for you! Deffo an occasional treat.

When you drive in Europe, does that put you over the Motability mileage?

lost my reply to this ... Melted she is going for 9 nights yes, long I know ... having a 2 day trial next week. Had not thought about the motability mileage thing ...