When did you know there was a problem?

[liahgenisuptheduff]

dd3 (dc5) will be 3 in May and to be honest living with her is like living with an abusive partner, (have done that too. ) It's like walking on eggshells trying to make sure everything is done just so and how she remembers it, or how we suggested it might be, (ie when we go out we will go to J's house, I receive text changing plans we are now meeting at C's house, cue huuuge tantrum and screaming that we are going to J's house) It's exhausting.

When she is in a good mood, she is the sweetest little thing but she changes mood in a heartbeat and takes herself off to the bathroom, (downstairs) for time out.

She won't look at people except those very very familiar to her and then only if she is at their house, never will she aknowledge them at ours. Even relatives.

She doesn't speak to anyone except immediate family, (ie dh, myself and siblings) She was supposed to be starting play school this term but she's just not ready.

I am seriously beginning to think there may be something wrong with her. She is so different to any other child I know or have done, (was a nanny for 12 yrs before my own family)

Was wondering if was worth seeing someone or is she simply too young yet. It's a struggle trying to find coping strategies from day to day. Even her bedcovers have to be a certain way and each day is different.

ny thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

With DD1 I knew something was different from quite early on - but it was - and still is very subtle. Most people don't realise (verbal DX of AS) even though she's just gone 3. It's only when they realise she can't talk in the same way as other kids. She can count to 20 - recognise all of her alphabet and numbers so I think that fools a lot of people into thinking she's just really bright and aloof

She goes NUTS (suddenly and out of the blue) if something changes that she's got her heart set on...yet other times you can change everything and she's cool with it. We have jumping and a bit of hand flapping plus chewing but then it'll all stop for weeks and she'll seem just like any other LO. Even the Paed said it's taken her three times of seeing her for DD1 to reveal her more AS traits infront of her. It's mainly language and playing with other LOs that mark her out as different.

Think you're doing the right thing - it can't do any harm and it certainly won't change her!

have known from a very early age with dd2 that she was different. she was def under the age of one, as i was living in the flat. she has always been this way, and having an older daughter i knew things werent quite right. we have been down many routes, and keep winding up back at possible AS. we are currently deciding on whether or not we need an official dx. she is 7 now.

With DD1 (Has a brain malformation) I knew from day 1 that things were different, but was not confident enough to push it.

She screamed all night long from the day she was born (if we hadn't come home from hospital, I am sure they would have intervened on the ward - it was horrific). She puked all the time. She was so placid, never demanded, but fed all day. Would not take a bottle, even when I left her for the day aged 5 months.

Head on

Sorry, forgot to say - DD1 has full 1:1 at preschool, and will go to a SN school in September, aged 4.9.

If you at all suspect that your DD has SN, please ask for a referral. I have a friend whose daughter is only just starting to get help for her condition aged 8 - for all these years she has seemed just 'quirky', but finally she has been clearly identified as having Aspergers.

I hate the thought of what could have happened with DD1. Had she not had the epilepsy diagnosed, we still could be thinking that she was a difficult child, that we were bad parents, etc.

Actually, I think that DD1 is severely affected enough that red flags would be popping up all over the place now, but even still, the thought that someone could think that she is just 'naughty' is horrifying.

i knew my ds was different from a few weeks old, knew he was autistic from about 9 months ish then he was diagnosed autistic 2 weeks after his 2nd birthday - so i was right all that time and the useless salt who saw us and insisted he wasnt autistic when he was 18 months was wrong as everyone at the multiagency meeting for diagnosis agreed as it was plain obvious!!

in my eyes parents know their kids best!!

My dd2 has ADHD, still as yet unofficially diagnosed. I knew there was something different about her from birth. I waited years in the hope that a so called "professional" nursery nurse, then teacher would say something to me, but it never happened. They didnt want to offend, but were happy to pass on the problem at the end of the school year. It got to the point where dd2's education was suffering badly. I got her end of year report which indicated her teacher knew dd very well. I asked her at what point we would start to consider other possibilities & she said it would be up to the new teacher to deal with it. The next teacher was newly qualified so I decided to deal with things myself. Went to GP, then to CAMHS. They immediately diagnosed ADHD, but not officially, claiming they wanted to know if it was just severe ADHD or autism too. Now 2 years down the line they are completely back tracking saying its all down to my marriage break up (which happened after the original meeting & unofficial diagnosis) Its all money related im sure.
The moral of the story is to speak to someone about your fears asap. My dd is almost 9 & in her 5th year of wasted education now. dont let that happen to your dd.

With DD1 i cant remember when i knew, as i remember being told i didnt know what i was talking about as i was a first time mum

With DD2 we have started the ball in the last 2 weeks, and she is 2 years and 4 months. We have agreed to wait another 3 months to gather more evidence and to see what is age appropriate behaviour. I think things become more noticable about 2years, but when you look back, little signs where there early on.
HTH

i found it useful to sit and do personal passport so communication , toiletry needs, dietry , behaviour etc and clearly state my ds quirks and rituals and routines this made it clearer to read for the professionals and also i didnt forget something that could potentially be important

it also helped with then explaining how to deal with this and how it may make him feel etc such as change of routine loud noises the need of constant reassurance it makes it so much clearer to see actually this is not right for a child of this age my ds was 2.6 when i started this and then when started pre school re wrote it through his eyes and again when he started school amending it along the way

My first concerns started when ds was about 9 months old, he would only eat one certain brand of baby food 'apple and pear' and nothing else. He wouldnt progress to 'lumps' or accept finger foods. Still has big problems with food at 5.5 years old.

He failed hearing tests and problems were noticed with his eyes at 9 months.

He would never put anything in his mouth, would strip naked at first opportunity and refuse to wear shoes.

At 2 years old, he was referred to SALT for not being able to pronounce certain sounds, but was not deemed serious enough for treatment.

At the time i thought he was just a bit 'quirky', looking back now with hindsight, all the signs were there.

I always felt that DS was 'different'.
Very 'awkward' right from early toddlerhood - frequent epic tantrums, extreme need for routine/rules, very rigid in his thinking, freaked out at change etc. But because these things are typical in lots of toddlers and because he was my first child, I battled on.

When he started nursery a few hours a week aged 2 yrs 10 mths old it became very apparent very quickly that he stood out like a sore thumb. He was leaps and bounds ahead of the other children in terms of academic-type stuff (was starting to read, very quick with numbers, amazing language for his age), but socially extremely immature and just couldn't cope with any of it, really

When he started school nursery at 3 yrs 7 mths his teacher quickly identified that he needed extra help with his emotions and behaviour and pout him on School Action. She suggested we got a referral from our GP for 'scoail communication' problems.

He is nearly 5 yrs old now and it looks like he is finally about to be diagnosed with Asperger's.

I always suspected.

Part of me wishes I had pushed for the diagnosis earlier. Part of me thinks it was the right thing to do to let things unfold and investigate all options (he has been seen by all sorts of 'experts' as part of the DX process).

Wish you luck. I'd say go with your instincts, get some input from the professionals asap and see how you go...

excuse typos.

'social communication' problems !

my ds was porgressing until about 18 months when he started putting things up to his eyes and looking at them from the side of his eye IYSWIM he was lining things up and had no speech and his physical appearance changed almost over night from Blonde curls to Mouse Brown straight hair and dark circles under his eyes i knew there was something up with him then read an article about autism in a mag it sounded like him i told the health visitor who said "dont be silly" he was diagnosed with Autism atYorkhill a few months later

oh and hand flapping and standing on tip toes

i knew wen my ds2 was 1 year old hes got gdd but not dx whith anything else got to go cdu in feb so maybe i will know more then

Dd1- was a nightmare from birth, at first i just thought i was one of the unlucky ones to have a grumpy baby. I think by the time she was a year old i knew there was something not right. She would cry at everyone, started lining up toys, was a poor sleeper, poor eater and wanted a lot of attention. When she started nursery at the age of 2 we noticed it even more, she hated change in routine, hated nursery and was always upset, this is when i took her to the gp and we were told about Aspergers, as soon as i read the traits i knew she had it.

Dd2- even though we had dd1 was Aspergers i did not pick up on dd2's ASD, unlike dd1 dd2 was so easy going, hardly ever cried and was easily pleased. It wasn't until her speech did not develop that we noticed she had problems, she also lined up toys like her sister but i thought she was copying dd1's behaviours. Luckily as her sister was on the spectrum dd2 was quickly diagnosed at the age of 3.