well, looks like we are def back here [sigh]

[misdee]

had a meeting today with dd2 SenCo. she has said they will start dd2 in a social skills group, and will back us in a dx if thats what we want.

she understands why i am reluctant to go down the official route of dx at this time, as dd2 is happy and is coping. but has said, yes she is quirky and understands our concerns. she also understands our oncerns that although dd2 is fine right now, she might not be once she moves to year 3, and then again at secondry so has suggested if we do decide to go down dx route then to do it before she leaves primary.

so the support is in place, our concerns have been noted and i am to go back before easter to see if things have improved.

Personally, I'd go for a dx/statement asap, as anything your DD is finding 'more difficult' at the moment in the infants, will become more apparent in the juniors (world weary voice of experience here...) and to have the support already in place will be a great help, and won't 'waste time' when your DD actually NEEDS the help.

Hi

Its good that you have met with the SENCO. Ds1 attends the social skills group at his school and really enjoys it. He started last year (year 2) and will continue to be in it throughout this year at least.

He was coping fine for the first half of year 2 and did really well in his SATs, but then we started to notice he was struggling by the end of the summer term and his teacher suggested a dx might be the best way forward if he was going to cope in juniors. There's no doubt about it, she was right and the move to year 3 has been very difficult and unsettling for him.

Just in case you do decide to go for a dx, we had a meeting with the Headmaster and he said we'd done the right thing going via the GP for paediatric referral as the children the school had referred to CAMHS tended to wait 12-18 months before they were even seen. The paediatrican we saw has referred us directly to the dedicated CAMHS assessment team now, which means we have bypassed all the initial contact meetings. He said he expects us to have already seen them by our next appointment with him in 6 months time. (Of course he could just be being optomistic and we haven't had a letter from them as yet, but then again we only saw him a fortnight ago.)

thats ny thinking, get it done now rather trhan later.

but now she is older, will it upset her to go through the process?

i think we are going to go down the dx route

Misdee, I don't think it will upset her. The paed appointment we had was mainly us talking while ds sat next to us and fidgeted. Ds only really talked at the beggining when the paed asked him to tell him a bit about himself and what he likes and doesn't likes and what he thinks he's good at. Ds thought it was great he got to talk about computer games at his appointment.

There was even a funny moment when, just as the paed was asking if ds fidgets a lot and has trouble sitting still etc there was a wail from ds (who was fidgeting around in his seat) and he had his thumb stuck between the chair and its metal legs! It just wouldn't budge and the paed was just suggesting we carry him to A&E with the chair attached to his hand, when I gave it an almighty yank and it came out. The paed saw the funny side and said "I think we can put a big tick next to 'tendency to fidget' don't you ds1?"

As I understand it, the assessments just take the form of chats and most children don't even realise they are being assessed.

We did a bit of groundwork with ds before we went. First we had a chat with him about what things he found difficult or felt he had problems with at home and at schoo. Then we explained that we were going to see a doctor who we thought might be able to help him sort out/deal with some of those problems.

We told him he might hear the word Aspergers, ASD and Spectrum and explained that a spectrum is like a scale with the people with the fewest problems at one end and the people with the most problems at the other and that there are all sorts of people with all sorts of varied problems somewhere in the middle. We also said that some doctors/people believe that almost everybody sits somewhere on the scale. We then explained that people near the end of the scale or spectrum that have the fewest amount of problems or difficulties are sometimes referred to as having Aspergers or ADS or being on the Spectrum and that that means is that they have some difficulties that the doctors feel they might be able to offer some help with and/or that the school might be able to help him overcome.

He was quite happy with these explanations. If anything, he seemed relieved that someone understood that he was struggling and he might be able to get some help with the things he struggles with.

My ds is obviously a bit older than your dd, but so far at least, he hasn't been phased one bit and its helped us to open up a channel for him to talk to us about his worries and problems as he now feels like something might/can be done to help him overcome them.

I really must apologise for my huge posts. I am famous on certain threads for using 10 words when 1 will do!

Another word of warning ds seemed to be 'managing' or 'coping' for the first 6 months of infant school. Come September and year 1, all hell broke loose and he is really struggling to cope.

Im having to fight like mad to get any help put into place without a dx.