In a financial mess

[Arabica]

Ever since DD came along I have completely ignored financial things and stuck my head in the proverbial sand. Now that I am, I suppose, recovering from the initial shock of moving into SN world and am more ready to face up to things, I find I am in a total financial mess. We're in loads of debt and although I am able to do a bit of work, I haven't got much time to actually do it due to short nursery hours, hospital appts, the usual.
Anyway, just wanted to share how completely rubbish I feel. I want to get cracking and sort out my finances (deadline for filing accounts looms) but all I can do is cry and eat biscuits. I have even started a thread about it in money matters and forgot to namechange, so anyone who knows me here can see how rubbish I am.

I'm sorry Arabica,rubbish isn't it?

We'reOK at themoment but know that if anything changes (benefits / paltry earnings go down,landlord decides tosell up) that we are stuffed. I don't think its unusual in the SN community.

CAB are damned fine in this situation,worth a call?

And a word of comfort- several years ago we were so broke we couldn't eat (DH and I, not the boys) some days, wemade huge changes including selling the house but now (and especially last year when DH was stillworking) things were somuch better, no debts etc. Just becuase they're rough now, it'snot as dark a tunnel as it seems at teh time.

XX

I think it's very common when your child has SN, partly because it's so dammed difficult to work. We assumed that I would take a few years off with NT kids and then go back - not so easy when you have to be home at 3.30pm for the bus every day. And there's always the pressure to pay for the latest therapy which might just help. V. hard to ignore.

Anyway just to say you are not alone. We made mistakes as well, or rather assumptions that turned out not to be correct (eg that we would be able to access childcare when we wanted it) and it's a long old journey to get over that mistake. But we are getting there.

Do make sure you are accessing all benefits you should be. And if you need any work etc done on your house remember disabled facilities grants (not means tested for children). DS1 kept breaking windows with his head and a DFG paid for double glazing so it can be for non mobility related changes as well.

Thanks for the encouragement. Discovered that in London (not sure about other parts of the UK) there is a CAB debt counselling service for parents of children with SN. I have now phoned and got a referral. If anyone else is interested you need to first of all get in touch with contact a family

know how you feel!

when ds's dad put us out we had to start totally from scratch and the only way i could do it was credit cards

We lived in two private lets which i had to furnish and decorate to get them looking decent before finally moving to our HA bungalow which i'll admit i did spend quite a lot on as this is our house now

so 3 years later i have a huge debt that im mostly only paying the minimum amount on, sometimes i manage to pay a bit more so i am chipping away at it but i do intend to get back to work at some point....once all the hospital appointments dry up a bit!

i am sad about the situation but we get along fine money wise at the moment never miss a bill, always food in the cupboard and we usually manage a wee cheap holiday every year.

to be honest i couldnt have done it any other way and the debt will be paid off one day.....maybe a bit quicker if we win the lottery!

Arabica-make sure you are claiming Carers, DLA and tax credits. Also try the Family Fund if you need money for specific items.
Finally, I have found moneysavingexpert.com a great site. It has great ideas to save money by going through your outgoings etc and suggesting cheaper alternatives. Hope this helps x

Thanks for the good wishes. Thanks for the tip but I can't claim family fund as we have an income over their limit. It doesn't take into account whopper debts. I'll go on the money saving website when I can get my head out of that sand.

I think we splurged in the past, before DD was born, and are only paying the price now.

Thanks for your message. I think I earn a bit too much for carers allowance--even if it gets swallowed up by all the debt. DD doesn't need any equipment.
I have lots of experience as a health journalist but I'm really out of the loop when it comes to being commissioned. It's all about who you know, really--and I can't go and work freelance shifts as I am not available 9-5. I also have a very thin skin. I applied for a job a month or so ago, failed to get it (because I wasn't available f/t) and have been plunged into self-pitying depression ever since.

Full of sypmathy...you're not alone by any means. there's nothing worse than having to face up to it for the tax return ( I'm using the head + sand method)

If you're doing a self assessment tax return for the end of the month, I have discovered that there is a potential way of avoiding the hundred quid fine for a late return. If you have the cash, you can pay what you think you owe before the return is in, and you'll only have to pay the difference up to £100, and if you overpay you can get the difference back. I think I'll be going this route at the rate I'm going, but how much tax to pay is going to be a real shot in the dark... and you still have to do the return as soon as possible.

And, ( also in London) our local Sure Start provides financial advice for parents.

hmm think carers allowance is not means tested long as you get middle rate care.

dont i am to sticking head in sand atm with money, know im in a mess but will just ignore till can afford to do something abouty it

pheonix, you are only allowed to earn £95 per week with carers allowance.